Why women are each other's harshest critics

Karen Creef; Greenville, North Carolina — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:01:36 GMT

This appears to be the same age-old dilemna that just will not go away! As a stay-at-home mother for the past nine years with two children, I am faced with this issue on a constant basis. The fact of the matter is that we are all WORKING MOMS and we should be on the same team. No matter what our choices are, sacrifices are made for the household. I do have to admit that I though I would be at least semi-back in the workforce by this time, but never realized how difficult the transition would be. Employers should consider more valuable positions that are either part-time or have flex hours. I withness that the happiest mothers are those that have been able to work out a situation of this nature. The bottom line is that I believe, for now, I am choosing what is best for my family.

Why women are each other's harshest critics

Kelly Elizondo, Canton, Michigan — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:34:14 GMT

I was really dissappointed in the segment this morning. While the survey quoted in the on air story stated that a majority of women would like to cut back on their work hours and spend more time with their children your show chose to interview the author of "The Feminine Mistake." I find her comments uninformed and laughable. I practiced law for 12 years and choose to quit to stay home full time with my daughter who is now four years old. I believe my daughter is a direct beneficiary of my education and work experiences. I was stressed, lonely, and unhealthy as a harried attorney. Now I work out on a regular basis, go out with girlfriends on a regular basis, read for pleasure and spend my days creating wonderful memories for my daughter. Instead of creating memories of hurrying out the door to get to day care my daughter spends her days playing at home. In the summer she is out playing on her swingset, swimming, going to the park and trying to catch bugs in a jar. How can you beat that? My husband and I are much better off financially - we are no longer taxed in the highest tax bracket. While I realize your segment included a "stay-at-home Mom" she was not a strong voice and was not a match for the author who has made numerous TV appearances to promote her book.

Why women are each other's harshest critics

Leslie Andrews, Portland Maine — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:47:55 GMT

Thank you for this timely segment. I am a working mom, and I really appreciated Leslie Bennett's perspective. We would all be well served to "let go of the guilt"-

Why women are each other's harshest critics

Evelyn Thompson — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 15:46:49 GMT

Whatever decisions we make about working/not working as we are raising our children should be looked at wholistically. We cannot make our decisions in impulsive & isolated ways; We need to realize that most of us are desiring economic security, children (trends show families having 3+ children), a nice home, a healthy relationship with our significant other and our extended family, be an active part of our community and have a career. If we really looked at all that we are expecting to have/do, we need to plan before we jump into buying bigger more expensive cars, bigger more expensive homes, have that third child, put those children into expensive schools, activities...

My point is; I see so many people with unrealistic expectations of "having it all" and that "having it all" seems to be super sizing; more children, better & more of everything - clothing, vacations, houses, food (eating out several times a week), cars, technology gadgets, landscaping....

I believe that if we simplify, we can have the basics and be very happy with them If both spouses want a full-time career, maybe they should think about only having one child. That second and third child need just as much attention, time and love as the first, but working, keeping the lovely home decorated and clean, feeding everyone healthy food, keeping fit, having a real relationship with your spouse...sure get in the way... and then things begin to crumble, something(s) begin to give; money problems, relationship problems, substance abuse..

And I haven't even talked about child care which is at a crisis level that is getting ignored. Almost everyone but people involved in child care have their heads in the sand about such an essential life support for families and children. It's not working; and people are closing their eyes and pretending everything is ok. It's not. We need the government to take this on. How do I describe how it is not even a "system" there is no "system", it is a mish mash of isolated services provided under a variety of licensing laws based on each State. Yes, there is quality child care, but parents are also being forced to choose less than quality care.

And as feminists, we didn't plan, we said rightly, that women should have equality at work, but really did not think about our babies at home. Doesn't mean we shouldn't be at work, but we've got to scream out for those babies. And we're not doing it. We didn't plan for them. We're trying to play catch up, but it's not good.

Why women are each other's harshest critics

Kellie Fox, Reno, Nevada — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 15:47:24 GMT

This appears to be an important discussion for those with a CHOICE of whether to work or not after having children. You need to revisit that 70% of working women make sure it does NOT include women that DO NOT have a choice. Some single parents don't have a choice. We either work or live in poverty. SO that is our CHOICE - poverty, homelessness, less oportunities OR a warm home, good food, and books to read each night! So stop the bickering and be thankful you have a choice!

Why women are each other's harshest critics

Gloria Fine, West Palm Beach, FL — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 16:56:47 GMT

I just reminded my daughter that - the more things change the more they stay the same. Many years ago a very forward acting couple convinced my husband that it would be allright for me to get a Master's Degree and to go back to work even with three children. After going back to work many of us asked - why aren't women more supportive of each other's efforts. In Delaware a golf tournament - Swingin With A Star was started for that very reason and we also established The Fund For Women to assist women and girls in Delaware.

Why women are each other's harshest critics

Joanne Deutch,Lenox,MA — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:06:08 GMT

While my 2 girls were growing up, I had the best of both worlds by owning a dance school that my children helped me run from a very early age. As they got older and had many other interests, it became alot harder to take them to music, swim,etc lessons, so I closed mt school to devote time to them. I then took a full time job at a theatre company when my last daughter was in high school and did not feel like I was missing their growing up. Everywomen is different and should do what feels right and what they enjoy. Also, these days alot of men want to really help with the children, so that both parents can work and be with the kids.