A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tiffany S., Philadelphia, PA — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:42:00 GMT

My husband and I have been in fertility treatment for over a year now, primarily due to poor sperm morphology. Since many other treatments have failed, we are now getting ready to start the IVF process in a few weeks. I've been told I have a thin uterine lining (measuring 5-6 instead of 8-12). Can one of your experts tell me if this will increase the rate of miscarriage (and/or decrease the rate of IVF success) and if there's anything that can be done to thicken my lining? Sincerely, Tiffany Adams

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Heather,. Binghamton, NY — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:46:20 GMT

Thank you so much for running such an important story today. I am a proud mother of a 1 year old son, but like you and Christine, my journey to motherhood wasn't an easy one. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, so getting pregnant was quite a battle. After trying to get pregnant for 1.5 years we finally found the right cocktail of medicines to achieve ovulation only to miscarry my first 3 pregnancies. Thanks to fantastic doctors, I was diagnosed both with a blood clotting and autoimmune disorder and was finally able to carry a pregnancy to term. Miscarriages (and infertility) are topics that are too often ignored. Thanks for bringing this very real and heartbreaking issue to the public!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kathy Pinchook RN, Albany, NY — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:51:47 GMT

My name is Kathy Pinchook and I am an obsetrical nurse at Albany Medical Center in Albany, NY. In 2003, My good friend and fellow OB nurse lost her full term baby girl three days before her due date. In her daughters memory, Lesley and her friend Jean started a not for profit organization designed to help educate caregivers and family on helping grieving families cope with such terrible losses. They've put together a box filled with momentos to help make physical memories for these special families. Their web site is www.cailinsmemories.org. Lesley and Jean have alot to offer if you'd like to contact them. Their address, email address and phone number are on the web site. Thank you very much.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sherri Erwin — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:54:13 GMT

Christine's story was very inspiring! Kudos to her for taking matters into her own hands and not just leaving it up to her doctor. Doing her own research really made a difference. Thanks for sharing her story, and yours.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lee Ann Baldanzi, South Glastonbury, CT — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:55:30 GMT

Ms. Fine, I would personally like to thank you for the Today show's piece on miscarriage - which aired this morning. As someone who has also suffered through recurrent miscarriages, I was heartened to see the story you told did not shy away from the very emotional part of this "medical" condition. More importantly I would like to thank Meredith Viera for correcting Dr. Jamie Grifo when he referred to miscarriage as "like a death in the family". Ms. Viera did a great service to those couples who have endured the often misunderstood emotional aspect of miscarriage by stating "it is a death in the family". Thank you very much.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christi Repici, Philadelphia, PA — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:10:30 GMT

Hi Tammy, I was so relieved to see your piece on miscarriages. I recently suffered a miscarriage, and it is still unreal for me to say that out loud. All of my life, I fantasized about finding my soulmate, getting married, and having babies. I never felt more excitement than after 8 months of trying, the test finally said positive. I ran to my husband, test in hand, and we literally jumped up and down together. I was never prepared for what would happen 5 weeks later. To add to my elation was the fact that my 2 sisters were also pregnant. How amazing for us and for our parents...3 new grandchildren in a matter of 3 months. It was too good to be true, a reality my husband and I came to grips with early on April 3, 2007. Besides the emotional pain of losing your baby, your hope, and your happiness came the excruciating physical pain. I could write, talk, and cry for hours about the pain, confusion and uncertainty for our future. I feel that the excitement has been taken out of starting a family, and it has become so scientific fo us now. My physical health took a huge change as my abdomen got smaller and my sadness and loneliness grew. I bled for a month and I developed migraines, something I never experienced before. My husband and I were also crushed when told we had to wait 3 more months to start trying. But none of the answers are certain, and none guarantee we won't have to endure this pain again. And to top it all off, there is a stigma it seems about talking on this topic...almost as if its shameful or embarrassing and no one wants to say it out loud. Yet, all the doctors say is that it is so common. Well then why do people look at me with pity but say nothing? Why is there only ONE book in an entire bookstore on suffering a miscarriage? Why was I left in the ER waiting room for 5 hours only to lose my baby in the waiting room bathroom? My husband and I will always know that we lost our first one, that we lost a child, and that will forever change us. I refuse to forget and move on, and it doesn't make me feel better if it was "God's will". So, thank you. Thank you for saying it out loud, and for recognizing that there are so many of us that belong to this secret club that NO one deserves to belong to...a club that should NOT be a secret. In the meantime, I will look at my sisters and be thankful that it was me and not them because I couldn't imagine watching them go through what I did. I watch the Today show every single morning, and as I grieved and as I continue to grieve I thought everyday about contacting your show and asking you to consider this topic. I didn't even have to ask, but if you ever consider another story, I would be more than willing to share my painful story in hopes that it would help others or sadly, even prepare them.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Hilda Duran, Stow, Ohio — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:11:32 GMT

I think it is a great idea to speak about something so sensitive. I too have had 7 miscarriages and 1 ectopic pregnancy, and I would of loved to hear about others going through the same thing to give me comfort during my sad times. I've given birth to three beautiful girls and I couldn't be happier!!!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Enithie Hunter, Atlanta, Georgia — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:12:17 GMT

I'm home from work today, because I had my 5th miscarriage yesterday. I rarely bleed or cramp, so I usually find out when I go in for an ultrasound and there's no heartbeat. Needless to say, I've grown to dread ultrasounds!! I've been seeing a reproductive endocrinologist since the third one, and I've undergone extensive testing. So far, my husband and I have passed every test - excellent sperm, no scarring, no infection, good egg quality, no genetic disorders, no luteal phase defect, and the list goes on and on. All of my D&C tissue have been tested and the results show chromosomal abnormalities. So something is wrong - right? We are now down to our final two options - donor egg or adoption. Both cost $20,000 plus, and neither of the babies will be mine (biologically), though the donor-egg baby will be my husband's, since his sperm will be used to fertilize the egg. Adoption can take years, and I'd like to have a baby before I look more like his/her grandmother than birth mother. So I guess we'll be looking through donor-egg toddler pictures next month, so we can find one who might resemble my husband and I.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Carol Sease, Gilbert, SC — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:16:25 GMT

I have two daughters who were diagnosed in the past year with blood clotting disorders after the oldest suffered two miscarriages. She has since been unable to get pregnant. She and her husband, however, adopted the most precious baby girl in Dec. Our daughter was able to be in the delivery room and our lives have been so blessed. Our younger daughter was pregnant in Dec., giving herself the daily blood thinner shot, doing everything right and still had a miscarrige at about 6 weeks. During that miscarriage, she held a fully intact egg sack with the enclosed embryo in her hand just 24 hours after hearing the heartbeat and being told all was fine. Today she is almost 18 weeks pregnant, giving herself daily blood thinner shots, and doing well. We are cautiously optimistic. Your stories this week have touched home for my family painfully sweet. Painful because I know the heartache that a miscarriage brings to an entire family. Sweet because I know there is so much hope in a number of forms. Once my daughters were diagnosed with the MTHFR gene mutation (which their doctor told them had a potentially 95% miscarriage rate without treatment), I too was tested because of the blood clotting factor and predisposition to stroke and other disease (I have type 2 diabetes). I tested positive. And yet, I had no pregnancy problems. There is so much yet to learn about medical science, but I wish more women were fortunate enough to have doctors who are knowledgable about the gene mutations that cause miscarriages. Our insurance company would not even cover the cost of the testing because they consider it investigational and experimental. Medicine still has a long way to go. Thank you for beginning to open the doors on that information for others.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Bevely Dudik, Houston, Texas — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:23:03 GMT

If Possible, can you PLEASE address SIDS...Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. I know a young couple who lost their last two children from SIDS. One at 3 months 3 days and the other at 3 months 2 days 12 years apart. What can they do?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Gina Judernatz, Corpus Christi, TX — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:24:06 GMT

I did not get to see the show but caught a few lines from closed captioning as I passed the TV at work. Will this topic be covered all week? I'll record the rest if it is. I am currently on a year and a half waiting list to get in vitro through a military hospital. The wait and the whole experience in general is killing me (but if we don't wait we have to pay the entire thing out of pocket). Although I have never experienced a miscarriage, I can definitely symathize with women who have and it amazes me how many women I know who have suffered through at least one miscarriage. Thank you.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

A. Chapin Kitchener Ontario — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:26:37 GMT

I loved your piece on miscarriages! I had one about 14 years ago and was devastated. I have never heard any doctor or anyone else call it a death in the family and it truly was for me! Everyone else seemed to think it wasn't all that big a deal. One woman sent me a silk flower arrangement that I still have today. It meant so much that someone truly acknowledged this loss! Many said it wasn't the same as losing a child that had been born and that hurt so much! I felt I never got the chance to meet this person and they did with theirs. It was as if the rest of the world wouldn't accept that this embryo ever existed and I had never been pregnant. It was really hard as this baby had been created out of my love for my husband and it was as if this love was obliterated from the face of the earth. We were fortunate to go on to have two more children which has helped to ease this loss some. But I have tried to make it a point to acknowledge a miscarriage when I hear of one. Soon after I lost ours several friends also had miscarriages (some had several) and I found comfort in talking with them and trying to support them. You put forth all the questions I had like how long before I can try again, and what tests can be done to make sure it doesn't happen again etc. The doctor you had is one of a kind! His true compassion will help many who suffer with this. I like his proactive position and wish that more doctors would take that approach. If we looked at it as a true death than maybe we would be able to do more to stop it before it happens or at least prevent it from happening again as was the case with the woman portrayed. To lessen this tremendous loss would save an awful lot of hurt! Thanks!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Traci Smith, Springfield, MO — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:26:56 GMT

As a woman who has suffered from infertility it was refreshing to see a piece, like this morning's, presented with compassion and understanding. Meredith did a wonderful job with this topic, probably because she understands it, having suffered recurrent miscarriages herself. The producer did a wonderful job of capturing the depth and breadth of the pain within a short segment. Good job. The emotional component of infertility, no matter the source, is all too often overlooked by the fertile world. Those of us who are unsuccessful in having a pregnancy are the silent sufferers. We face the death of our futures, our plans, our dreams, our families, our dreamed about children....that will never be. And we face this death in private....because there is no outward loss that others can see and support. No sympathy cards are sent. No flowers. And yet we carry on. Again, thanks for the sensitive and accurate information being shared in your infertility segments. And thanks for the medically significant information your experts are sharing, as well as their compassion and understanding. Keep up the good work.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Stacy S., Missouri — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:27:12 GMT

Thank you for this story! I just suffered through my second misscarrage, which almost killed me. It is in fact a very upsetting thing and especially as you get older and are faced with less opportunity to have a child. The information was extremely useful. Thank you again, much of the information I heard in your piece really made me more of an informed individual and actually assisted in my emotional and mental state of mind.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Bobbi Jo, Bedford, PA — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:32:04 GMT

Thank you so much for this story! After suffering 2 miscarrages and being put on clomid for 6 mths and nothing i was running out of hope. I know this might not be my problem but its hope. My Dr. never did these test, the first said oh just go home and lay on your left side. The seconed well somthing is up lets do some checking around. My family did the "It wasn't ment to be thing." which hurt more then helped. And just this past week my sister-in-law had a baby......needless to say i haven't called or visited i just hope she watched your show this a.m. to understand how painful her joy is to me. I actully have a dr. appt scheduled this afternoon-which i was gonna cancel seeings how nothings helped and i have made a appt. with a specialist. But with this information i will be walking in and demanding these test. Its awful sitting in a waiting room with only magazines on baby's and pregnancy and surrounded by pregnant women. But today i will be going in aware there are test they haven't done that could help, so for the first time in 2 years i will be sitting there w/a smile on my face.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Mandi Davis, Franklin Tn — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:33:11 GMT

HI, I am a mother of two beautiful children and have been feeling in complete. We decided to try again and we were sucessful untill I began havign pains. I went in and my world shattered. The baby was in my tube. I had to have emergency surgery. There is not alot out on that specific topic, in fact I have not met anyone else who had an ectopic pregnancy. It is a horrible feeling knowing you had to terminate what you wanted and long for. We have now been unseccessful in conceiving again. There are no words to describe what it is like. My favorite part of the piece was Meredith saying just hold them. That makes me cry thinking of it. That is what I needed most, not the empty well intentioned words. Just a hug! Sincerely, Mandi

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa Ruth, Crystal Lake, Illinois — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:35:22 GMT

Thank you so much for doing a segment on this topic. Last week I suffered my first miscarriage. Our baby was measured at 12 weeks 4 days. We went to our regular OB appointment resulting in an ultrasound to determine viability. To our shock ---our baby measured correctly, but did not have a heartbeat. This was to be our fourth child. We already have a set of twins (natural conception) and a singleton. We have had many people say how fortunate we are to have three children already---and I am! --however it doesn't make this loss any easier to deal with. This was a planned pregnancy in which our whole family was excited, especially our 10 year old twins that were filled with anticipation and joy. We felt that telling them about the loss (since at 9 weeks we had an ultrasound with a strong heartbeat???) was the harder than actually coping with the loss ourselves. We would also like to share that we felt it helpful and peaceful to seek out our Pastor for prayer and Godly advice. We had just our family meet at church to pray and answer any questions that the children might have had. It doesn't make the loss go away, but at least we were able to model to our children that money and fame doesn't solve problems, but leaning on your faith and the faith of good friends does seem to take some of the pain go away. Lastly, I would add that there will be people in your family or social circle that will avoid talking to you about the loss of your child. This for some, might make it easier to cope. For us, we tend to have to work things out verbally, especially emotions. If you know someone who is in this situation, please acknowledge their loss, a card can be so meaningful when you really don't know what to say.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Julie Hagan, Germantown, TN — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:40:51 GMT

Thank you for sharing Christine's story. Eight and a half years ago, I became pregnant and had an early miscarriage. I then became pregnant right away and was completely excited to see that everything was okay and we anxiously awaited the birth of our second daughter. (Our oldest daughter was just over 1 year old.) Although throughout the pregnancy I was concerned that I didn't seem to be showing as much, the doctor assured me that the baby's size was fine. She reminded me that people carry their babies differently. At 35 weeks, I awoke early with contractions and spotting. When I arrived at the hostpital they decided to listen for the heartbeat. After the nurse tried a few times to find the heartbeat, I knew something was wrong. She then called for another nurse to listen, but she could not find it. Then they called for an ultrasound and started asking me when was the last time I felt the baby move. With the ultrasound they confirmed that there was no heartbeat and our little girl had died. My husband was walking my oldest daughter around in her stroller at the hospital and I had to have the nurse find him. It was the hardest thing in the world to tell my husband that our baby had died. After I delivered her a few hours later, we were able to hold her and see how perfect she was. A few months later, I was diagnosed with a blood clotting disease and was able to do the blood thinning injections twice a day. A little over a year later, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. I strongly encourage women who have had a miscarriage to ask their doctor to run some test to see what may have caused the miscarriage. I hope that no one would have to go through delivering a stillborn child, like us. Thank you again for sharing Christine's story.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Diana Wagner, Mason, OH — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:44:25 GMT

I'm glad to see that miscarriage is being talked about more on television. Too often, we suffer the loss in silence. I have two beautiful children, each who came after a loss (one being missed in the early 2nd trimester) - my first after 3 years of infertility. I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) which can raise risk of miscarriage to 50% or higher. So for me, it was about being on medications to control the hormonal imbalances. These losses were some of the most isolating, lonely times in my life when I truly could've used someone. Fortunately, I found a support group online who helped me through the process of the loss, trying again, pregnancy after loss, and watching our children grow together. Most of us have experienced multiple or recurrent miscarriages, and share information in hopes of helping another woman. We are a close group of women who have become each other's rocks and support. Thank you so much for doing a story like this. Women should know they are not alone - so many people you know have experienced miscarriages, and you don't even know it. And there is hope - and help out there!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Stephanie, Omaha, NE — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:45:15 GMT

I am writing this due to the post that was talked about this morning on the show. I have been through 4 miscarriages and I am 28 years old. My last two have been about 7 months apart and they can't explain to me why this is happening. I have been through several blood testing and also the dye test where they shoot dye into my uterus and everything was normal. I make it to about 6 weeks and then my hcg level goes down. I have been taking baby aspirin to help my blood flow better and also my prenatual vitamins daily. I feel that I am not getting any answers and all this is to them is trial and error. I dont know how much more I can do this emotionally and physically. My husband and I both want to have a baby so bad and I can't give that to him right now. I am sad, frustrated, mad, confused, etc. I just want some answers in what is going wrong and what can I do to finally carry a baby full term? Please help if you have anything to explain this. Thanks for listening Stephanie

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Cindy, Portland, Texas — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:48:37 GMT

Yes, the loss of a dream, the loss of a pregnancy is extremely difficult. I have recently had two miscarriages after one successful pregnancy. My daughter is four and we'd like to have one more baby. My doctor is testing me for thormbophilia - blood clotting disorder. I will obtain results late this week. Thank you for featuring this story. I trust it will educate many women so they will follow through with their doctors, then possibly having an answer and treatment.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

S. Lewis, Columbia, SC — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:50:43 GMT

I would like to thank you for the piece you did this morning on miscarriages. I just suffered my second miscarriage last week. I have had two within the past nine months. The first one was caused by a fibroid that grew into my uterus and took over my uterus and ended the pregnancy at 11 weeks. There are no answers for the second one yet, but the pregnancy ended at 6 weeks and 2 days. This was disappointing to me because it happened a day after first my doctors appointment. I am 31 and I feel as though my time is running out, especially since the miscarriage rate increases with age and multiple miscarriages. I really am not emotionally prepared to go through another miscarriage. I am planning to wait a few months, even if my doctor says it is OK, because of the emotional toll it has taken on me. Is there any advice you can give on trying to get prepared for another pregnancy? Are there any blood tests that can be performed now on my husband and me that would help us figure out if it is a genetic problem or a problem with me? Thanks again for the week long special. It has really helped me in my healing process.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Elizabeth — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:50:54 GMT

But what to do if they CAN'T find a reason? I've suffered four miscarriages and no one can tell me what's wrong. I've been tested for physical problems, autoimmune disorders, chromosome issues, you name it.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lori U., Burke, Virginia — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:02:24 GMT

Thank you for Christine's story this morning. It pains me to know that so many other women (and men!)like me suffer through the emotional ride of miscarriage, but it is also comforting to know my husband and I are not alone. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for two years now. I am 30 years old and suffer from infertility and have had 2 miscarriages in the past 8 months--one pregnancy resulted from IVF, and we conceived naturally the second time (a small source of hope!). Like the doctor on your show suggested, my doctor is not of the "wait and see" philosophy, so we conducted tests on the second miscarried fetal tissue and determined that the fetus never had a surviving chance because he (yes, it was a boy) had 3 sets of chromosomes (69XXY), as opposed to the standard 2 (46XY or 46XX) that all humans have. However, because of my age, I feel lucky to know the main cause of my infertility--Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome--because I believe I still have plenty of time to treat my condition and hopefully carry a successful preganancy (or two or three!) to term. I urge anyone trying to get pregnant who is having problems to seek out a trusted reproductive endocrinologist/infertility specialist. Twenty years ago, the story would have been different for many people struggling to have a family, but today we are lucky to have science and technology on our side. The sooner you get medical help, the better your chances. Best of luck to everyone out there trying to create a family!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Colette Crabill, Arlington, VA — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:05:23 GMT

I just saw the piece on miscarriages this morning and I wanted to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!! My story is almost identical to Christine's- I had four miscarriages before literally diagnosing myself. When I left my specialist after the four m/c and asked for my bloodwork results, to my shock I saw that I had half the gene for two separate clotting disorders. As it turns out, the doctors felt these were not enough to cause my problem so they not only dismissed the results, but didn't even inform me about them. I knew from my research on the Internet that there were a lot of women who had these two halves (likely compounding as one) and were being treated with blood thinner only to have successful pregnancies. I found a new doctor, asked for the meds, and now have an 18 month old son and just found out I am five weeks along with a second, which we pray will be successful. I only write about my story because it is so important for women to be their own advocates- going into this process I trusted doctors blindly and it was only paralyzing grief that pushed me to find out what was wrong with me. I also want to personally thank Meredith for sharing her own story because when you are in the throes of such pain, you think you are alone and will never find your way to the other side. Knowing that other women have been through it and have had successful outcomes is so important, I can't emphasize this enough. It sounds so obvious but women do not talk about this, society does not talk about it. Miscarriage is still such a taboo topic and I realized how much our reproductive role still defines us as women in our society. Talking about it is the first step in supporting women who are suffering such pain. I was also touched by the doctor who said twice this morning that a miscarriage is a death of sorts for the family. It is hard to understand if you haven't been through it, but that is exactly what it is and having an expert of this doctor's standing acknowledge that on television is monumental in my book. Thank you again!! As I begin this journey again, I find that all of the fear and anxiety are as intense as with my first (or I should say fifth!) pregnancy and as difficult as the segment was for me to watch, it just made my day. Best regards, Colette Crabill

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Leah, Big Lake, MN — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:13:02 GMT

Thank you for airing such a important story. I have suffered 2 miscarriages - one at the beginning of the 2nd trimester. It was not until my 4th pregnancy that my Dr tested me for low progesterone of which I was dangerously low. My Dr. told me that I would lose the baby I was carrying at that time, however gave me supplements "just in case". My baby girl made it and is now a healthy 16mo old. I also have another daughter, 3 1/2 years, of which my Dr says is a "miracle". Thank you again.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

T. Moehl, Indianapolis, IN — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:13:37 GMT

I saw where TODAY is doing an article on adoption tomorrow. My wife and I have become unwilling experts. Currently we are in line for a Russian adoption, this after failed invitro, a miscarriage and local adoption ailments. Why Russia, you ask? We were originally drawn to Russia because the children are institutionalized, and need a home. My wife and I decided after retaining a lawyer for a local adoption and then realizing that 2-out-of-3 birthmothers change their mind at the birth of their child; plus the crazy things that can happen with local American adoptions felt that our best scenario was a foreign adoption. The agency we are using specializes in Russian adoptions, but also offer other countries like China and some South American countries. We heard bad things about women in these South American (Guatemala) countries having babies specifically to put up for adoption, so we decided not to entertain that avenue. Russia made sense to us. It was a 6-8 month process and it would cost not much more than a local adoption. We are now 10 months into it and now Russia has not processed the required accreditation of foreign agencies providing adoption services. This most likely will cause a delay, so or happy 6-8 month adoption trail will take a minimum of 14 months or longer. It may be longer. Please cover in your article the Russian accreditation delay. Why is it happening? Another thing here is that you cannot apply for multiple countries at the same time, without registering with multiple agencies. My wife is truly a mom waiting to happen. She used to work for a pediatric ophthalmologist and really enjoyed working with the children. She was adored by her patients and it provided a “mom release” for her instinct. We have been married for a little over 6-years and it seems that we are constantly hitting brick walls with our search to have children. Then you see Brad and Angolina and Madonna waltzing into countries and thirty days later they have a beautiful kid. “Oh, we did what normal people do to adopt in foreign countries”. If you believe that you are living on mars.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Mary, Columbi, MD — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:21:02 GMT

It breaks my heart to see the stories of the women who are having problems having children. I have experienced the pain of loosing two pregnancies. I suffered two tubal pregnancies. I had lost all hope of ever having children. I prayed and prayed. Dr. Nathan Berger at Mercy Hospital in Baltimore, MD performed surgery on my tubes to repair them in 1991. Here it was 1999, eight years later and I still didn't have a child. Approaching 40 and divorced, all hope of ever having a child was gone. I found out January 2001 that I was pregnant. I was very happy, but scared. Could this just be another pregnancy? I had a ultrasound done right away. All I could do is say over and over, please let the baby be in the right place. The doctor confirmed the baby was in the right place. What a relief, my prayers were answered! After notifying my boyfriend, he didn't want me to have the baby. Needless to say, I am a very happy single mom. I have a 5 year old son. I have indeed had rough times raising my child alone. I don't complain. My son is God's gift to me. I would love to have one more, but I am still single. I want to be married before I have any more children. My son is so precious to me. We live in MD, but we come to NY for his auditions. I am now in Graduate school at NYIT for communications. I am also a TV Producer. I have just written a short film called Justin's Prayer. I want to motivate single mothers every where to follow there dreams and keep there heads held high. Maybe one day I will be a Producer at the Today show. I am a loyal viewer. Thanks for doing this story to show woman there is hope for them to one day become a mother!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Meg from Long Island — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:45:36 GMT

I'm SO proud of Christine it took courage to tell the story of her losses and give a voice to the wish for a third child. I suffered a stillbirth @ 38.5wks w/my first pregnancy that was otherwise uneventful+joyful. In the hospital after I lost my son they determined I had a clotting disorder. My Dr at the time was wildly dismissive about it this result.My husband +I traveled the journey for the next 3yrs and we delivered a healthy son last November. We met the right Drs after MUCH digging. Being a proactive patient is a must; it's our body and our responsibility to collaborate w/our Drs along the way. I applaud Meredith+Dr.Grifo for the educational nudge about 'well intented'thoughts;I'm willing to assume most people come from a good place it would be so nice if they thought before they spoke.Hugs and hold them(us) tight was Meredith's suggestion..maybe we should make tshirts! I would also like to acknowledge Meredith's courage to voice her history despite the passage of time. As mother's day approaches,I think the timing and the importance of this segment are spot on.Thank you so very much.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Anne Marie Kloppe, Billings, MT — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:45:49 GMT

I was so touched by your piece on the show today and I loved Meredith's comments at the end on what to say to someone who has suffered a pregnancy loss. I had a loss at 19 weeks and it was devastating. I have joined a support group that has been a big help. We often are discussing the things people say that are well meaning, but just don't help. Meredith was so correct. All you need to say is I'm so sorry or I love you and hold that person tight. That will do so much more than trying to tell that person that it was meant to be or they will have another. I don't care if it was meant to be - those parents that lost that child sure don't see it that way - they would much rather hold that child in their arms. Sure, maybe they can have another, but maybe they can't - and wether they can or not, a subsequent child will never take the place of the one that was lost - that loss will be there forever. So thank you very much for the story and for Meredith's words that were so on point.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Marianne Smith — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:52:16 GMT

My children are now 23 and 25 years old. It took me 4 1/2 years to get pregnant the first time. We had lots of tests and procedures and thank God we finally had a happy ending. We are now grandparents! My point in writing is that I am recording this week's infertility segments because even though I am 55 years old, my infertility experience is still a part of my life. The pain of those years is still part of who I am now and once in the while it is important to honor that experience by touching that piece of my soul. I have been able to talk to others thru the years as they walk that road. I know from experience how devastating it is to see everyone else having children and feeling like a freak not to be able to do this supposedly simple thing. The pain and fear was balanced for me by a strengthening of my marriage as we experienced the "bad times" we made vows to go thru together. I am with infertile couples in spirit and have indeed walked a mile in your shoes. I pray that however the story ends for you that you will be at peace.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Alison, Knoxville, TN — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:55:49 GMT

Thank you for finally airing something about multiple miscarriages. I miscarried my first three pregnancies. The doctors could not determine the problem and after the third my doctor suggested using heparin. She said some women just need heparin to hold onto a pregnancy. She also said that I could have a yet to be discovered blood clotting disorder. With my fourth pregnancy, I was on heparin and finally had my child! He is now two years old. Just yesterday, I mentioned to my husband that it had been six years to the day since we had our first miscarriage and I asked him if he thought the pain ever goes away. Even though I have a healthy two year old now, I don't think the pain ever goes away, it lessens, but doesn't go away. I remember being so frustrated with everyone's comments (it happened for a reason, etc.) and feeling like I had no one to turn to, so it is very important to educate everyone on the subject. Again, thank you for airing such an important topic.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

A. Denver, Colorado — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:55:56 GMT

Thank you for bringing to light the pain that comes with having a miscarriage or tubal pregnancy. I had a tubal pregnancy 1 year ago, and the pain emotionally and physically was unbearable. My husband and I had been trying for just over a year and were ecstatic to say the least. Then the news of no heart beat and pains the abdomen. No one can understand the pain one feels when they lose their baby. It is almost impossible to put into words, and yet many go through this. Thank you for shedding some light on this subject that is often overlooked and not spoken about. It is comforting just to know that there are some many other people out there who Do know what it is like, and they have also some how survived.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Teresa, Erie, PA — Tue, 08 May 2007 14:58:07 GMT

I too have suffered through a miscarriage. It is like a death that no one mourns except the mother. I miscarried at home alone. My doctor told me if I went to the hospital for pain meds and support they would force me to sit in the waiting room. It's like the medical community is so hardened aganist miscarriage.I have a 7 old daughter that I had when I was 19 and was a single mother for a long time. Then I met the man of my dreams and wanted to have a real family but it has been two years, 1 miscarriage, lots of fertility drugs, empty bank account, unexplained infertility and no baby. Sometimes I think I am being punished because when I was 19 and pregant, they were moments when I just wished it would all go away. Now I am a happy mother and want more children and want to experience becoming a mother in a viable relationship. Please discuss costs/risks of infertility and the lack of insurance coverage for IVF for most people.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Heather C., Mishawaka, IN — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:06:32 GMT

I missed the show this morning, but my mom called to tell me about it. I have suffered the pain of three miscarriages, after having a healthy son. I was diagnosed with low levels of anticardiolipin antibodies, and am now 23 weeks pregnant and injecting myself daily with Lovenox (blood thinner) and taking a baby aspirin. Everything seems to be going well this time, and we are hopeful for a healthy child. If you are going through the loss of recurrent miscarriages, don't give up and keep searching for answers. It can make all the difference!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Banji Ganchrow Teaneck, NJ — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:10:25 GMT

After having three healthy boys, I suffered two miscarriages at 16 weeks. They were a year a part. I just found out that I had another mis last week,but it was early. All of the blood work came back fine. I was told that the egg quality was poor. Is this a cop out? I don't know. I relate to the other women who have sent in their comments. I am so sad and angry and when I see other pregnant women I want to run and hide. When my friends have new babies, I can't be in the same room with them. I always considered myself a strong person, but this just kills me. I don't know if I should try again, for fear that another loss might actually put me over the edge. I am hoping that some of my friends watched today's show so they will realize how much of a loss this is and will stop telling me to just "get over it." I pray for all of you who want a child and I hope that all of our wounds heal.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Michelle, St. Paul, MN — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:10:31 GMT

Thank you so much for highlighting infertility and especially the painfulness of recurrent miscarriages. Although I have certainly appreciated the focus on this issue, I really wish there was equal attention given to male infertility within the same context as infertility is a couple's diagnosis and male infertility is a factor in half of the diagnosed cases of infertility.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sandy, Norfolk VA — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:23:59 GMT

While my heart goes out to all those women who've miscarried one or more pregnancies, and I commend the Today Show for addressing this issue, ...what about those who've not yet been able to concieve due to a malformed reproductive system and don't know if they can carry if they do someday conceive? My 24 yr old daughter has a "Unicornuate Uterus"; having only one fallopian tube (on the right side; none on the left), along with an underdeveloped uterus (only about 1/2 the normal size). She has both ovaries, but the left one has adhered itself to the abdominal wall again (even after surgery 2 yrs ago to free it) and there is NO tube on the left. This was all discovered just 2 years ago, during tests to determine the cause of her extreme pain & bleeding during ovulation and heavy periods. She has received conflicting opinions from her doctors, surgeon & specialists as to just "how underdeveloped" her uterus actually is and whether or not she'll ever be able to conceive, or carry a pregnancy to term for that matter. The surgeon gave her copies of the actual digital photos taken of during her laparoscopy 2 yrs ago, clearly showing a tiny uterus (it's not much bigger than her right ovary). For the past 2 years, she and her fiance` have not been "trying" to conceive, but they've not taken any measures to prevent pregnancy either. Has anyone here experienced a similar condition and miscarried as a result?? ...or carried to term in spite of this condition??

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Mary — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:25:52 GMT

Thank you for having this series run near Mother's Day. I have had three miscarriages in the past year and a half, and Mother's Day is particularly painful for me. It is thoughtful to run a series for women whose struggle toward motherhood is so often not outwardly visible or acknowledged. Also thank you to Meredith and the producer for sharing their painful experience of miscarriages with viewers.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Elizabeth, Oklahoma City, OK — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:27:44 GMT

I had a miscarriage very recently. I had to have a D&C this past Wednesday. I was 11 weeks along, but when we went in for the first ultrasound, we were told there was no heartbeat and the baby measured 9 weeks. I had no idea the baby had died. I was and still am very devastated. I appreciate stories like this one, they help somewhat. We are planning on trying again but right now even thinking about it is scary, as it just happened to us. I'm also considered "advanced maternal age" at 36 years old. Thank you for the informative piece though, I hope it helps others as well.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Michelle Lynch, Orlando — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:29:01 GMT

Thanks for devoting time to an important topic that many well meaning family, friends and co-workers casually dismiss. My husband and I are trying to start our family and have many fertility issues to overcome, so I definitely relate to your viewers. On another note, I'm part of Fertile Dreams in Orlando. We're a nonprofit organization and provide three $10,000 scholarships annually to be used toward treatment at any fertility clinic in the U.S. Our first recipients just had twins in March. They'd tried to start their family for more than 7 years, had taken out a second mortgage on their home and had all but given up when they learned about the grant. We also host a fertility health fair and gala each year. This year 80 couples attended. All of us on the planning committee have gone through or are currently going through fertility issues. Additionally, Fertile Dreams was created 3 years ago by a Central Florida physician and his wife who personally experienced fertility issues after trying to build their family for 10 years. If you'd like to learn about us, we're at www.fertiledreams.org. Thanks, Michelle Lynch Orlando

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Shawna Robinson, Seattle, Washington — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:30:10 GMT

I am 24 years old and have suffered 2 miscarriages. I have PCOS, but was told it is a mild case. I ovulate on my own, but not until around cycle day 26-28. I am told that this causes the egg to be of poor quality. I was put on Clomid 2 months ago, and now I am having positive ovulation tests with no follicle seen on ultrasound. I am wondering if I should try naturally again? I am hoping you can possibly discuss clomid since it is the most commonly perscribed infertility treatment! Thanks

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Bridget, Aliso Viejo, CA — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:30:55 GMT

Thank you for doing this very important show on miscarriage and infertility. My sister got pregnant via IVF and became very ill with pre-eclampsia at 20 weeks. After a 3 week hospital stay she ended up losing the baby because the pre-eclampsia was so severe. One year later she was told that if she became pregnant again the pre-eclampsia would most likely re-occur. I offered to carry the baby for her. I had had 4 successful pregnancies and births and I was the perfect candidate. I did become pregnant with her embryo but had my first miscarriage a few weeks after the embryo had implanted and the pregancy was confirmed. I have been searching for information on trying to figure out if this is a case of "bad luck" for my sister and her husband or if this is truely a chromosomal problem with her embryos. They would like to try again but can not face another disappointment like this. We need a really good resource or more information on tests we can do to see if there is more of a problem that is causing her embryos not to make it. Any suggestions? Thanks again for talking about these issues.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Louise, Boston, MA — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:47:37 GMT

Wow, I was so happy to see my favorite morning program covering this subject. As someone who has suffered 3 miscarriages (all in my 40s) I know how devastating they can be. Your program was excellent and made me cry. It brought it all back, the frustration and sorrow that you feel when you are going through it. I am now 6 months pregnant with a healthy baby. I had to do a lot of testing, and much like Christine (the woman you profiled) I had to be my own advocate. I tested borderline for a thyroid condition. I asked my doctor to treat me as if I had the condition and low and behold this pregnancy has thrived. Thanks for removing the stigma of miscarriage and for educating people on what not to say. Also, Meredith did a great job and I was so pleased that she revealed that she too has experienced multiple loses.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kathleen, Orlando, FL — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:50:15 GMT

I have been going into work late this week, just so I can stay home and watch your stories on fertility. My husband and I have been going through fertility treatments for almost 2 years. We are 28 years old and were told that IVF was our best option. We were devastated when last year's first attempt failed. We are not giving up on our dream of becoming parents, and stories like yours help us to feel not-so-alone. Thank you for putting infertility into the spotlight, and making it easier to discuss with family and friends. Keep up the good work!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

krystal priester -parma,idaho — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:51:29 GMT

my husband and i had been trying to get pregnant for over ten years and finally around our anniversary last year we found out indeed we were...but a week later we lost all hope when a miscarriage took our baby. now we are still trying but it gets tough especially since its been 6 months since the loss. we have been told by several doctors that it wouldnt take this long. we are not giving up though and its good to hear there are so many women that are standing strong through such rough times.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Amy Dobbs, Marietta, GA — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:00:11 GMT

Thank you for airing the segment today on miscarriage. I am 38 years old and have suffered two miscarriages in the past six months. Managing the physical recovery has been much easier than dealing with the emotional. Like Christine, I have a very difficult time around other pregnant woman, or anything baby-related. I often find myself making excuses why not to attend functions with potentially pregnant woman, and dread someone asking me if I have any children (my husband and I are trying for our first.) Additionally, the overwhelming amount of baby-related items in the media is just a constant reminder of what my husband and I have lost. Often, I find that most people do not associate miscarriage with grief and emotional healing. After the first miscarriage, I received flowers, cards and hugs. After the 2nd, coworkers, friends and relatives just avoided acknowledging the loss. Now, 2 months later, those around me expect me to be over the grief and stop being upset. So, thank you Meredith for correcting Dr. Grifo's comment that miscarriage is LIKE a death in the family. The loss of two potential lives has been, and continues to be, the most devastating experience of my lifetime. I am also grateful for Dr. Grifo recommending that women with multiple miscarriages seek testing before the third loss. I was also told by my doctor to try again and if the next pregnancy resulted in miscarriage, I would be referred for testing. My instincts, however, tell me not to wait. Again, I am thankful that Today chose to do this segment, and in such a tasteful manner. Having experienced two miscarriages, I often feel out of place in society, particularly because miscarriage is not generally discussed or addressed. I hope that this piece will enlighten others that miscarriage is an incredibly painful experience and not one that is easily brushed aside. Thank you again.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa Greene Young Leesburg, Georgia — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:02:57 GMT

My husband has just called me to say his cousin has had a second miscarriage in only a year on yesterday. She is the wife of a doctor. She is an only child who wants to have children. Fortunately, after fertility drugs almost three years ago she was able to deliver twin boys. I can only pray that she will find an answer as to why this keeps happening to her. She is a wonderful woman and deserves happiness. Thank you for the story today. We hope we will be able to share this with her.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tammy, Staunton, VA — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:04:46 GMT

Wow, its sad to see how common miscarriages are, but yet, seems not many answers. I had a healthy baby boy 10yrs ago with my husband, we have since lost 11 babies....our last one, just last month, I carried til 13weeks. Talk about baffled...to have one successful, normal pregnancy, and healthy son!! To, 11 miscarriages. I am now 36 years old...and doctors are baffled, and having tons of tests and many, many, ultrasounds..no solutions yet. Thank you so much for you time devoted to this mystery. I have to say, only my strength in God has kept us pushing on!!!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kelly Wagoner, Apple Valley, Ca — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:05:54 GMT

The information I saw on this morning Today's show really hit close to home.I found out I was pregnant on March 13th. I immediately called the Dr. to do all the things pregnant women are supposed to do when they find out there pregnant. My first appointment was April 12th. I had been experiencing major breast tenderness, tiredness, forgetting things all the normal signs of a pregnant women. However, 1 thing I was not prepared for was when my husband my mom and I went in for the 1st routine ultrasound as this would be our 1st child to be and my mom and dads 1st grandchild to be. At first everything looked great. I cried with tears of enjoyment as we saw are precious angel developing perfectly only to be told that the baby I had been growing to love did not have a heartbeat. My tears of happiness turned to instant sadness and heartbreak. I didn't know what to think it all hit me so fast. They had told me I was 10 weeks and that they should see a heartbeat @ that point. I knew I was not 10 weeks but at that point was not in the mood to argue with the Dr. The following day they had me come back for HCG testing and that was on Friday the 13th. The following Monday I was hoping that the #'s were still high. I got the news and they were very HIGH! I was so excited and thought maybe it was to early to hear a heartbeat.. only to do another HCG testing on Tuesday and wait for the #'s. Well with that we got disappointing news, my #'s had dropped drastically. I couldn't stop the crying the depression of all this was awful. I would see a pregnant lady and burst into tears, see a newborn and same thing. My body would not naturally miscarry and was still treating my body as if it was still pregnant even thought the #'s were dropping. I had to undergo a d&c and am now 3 weeks post d&c. I am still very devastated @ this loss and angry all the above. Seeing this morning made me realize that treating this like a death in the family wasn't a bad thing and it should be treated that way helped. I know I can try again and there's a reason it happened. But when its happened to you.. THOSE ARE NOT THE WORDS YOU WANT TO HEAR. THEY ARE NOT COMFORTING IN ANY WAY. I wanted this baby and no one was going to tell me diferent. I will be trying again when its safe to and can't wait to have a baby someday soon enough. To all of those who have suffered a loss my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel and to know were not alone and this is such a common thing makes it more worse to realize. Theres never an explanation on why this happened unless blood tests say otherwise. For me, it was a natural thing and I am greatful to know nothing is wrong. God bless you all and I hope your aching heart will heal overtime. May god bless you all with a little angel soon enough. Kelly

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Janette B, Sioux Falls, SD — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:10:47 GMT

Christine had mentioned that she looked into ten different test; I tried to locate these tests on the wedsite and either overlooked them or the tests are not listed. Could you please assist me in finding these different tests. Thank you and thank you for restoring hope.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Alicia C., North Babylon, NY — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:17:15 GMT

I could'nt bring myself to watch the show this morning because everytime i think of what happened to me i get sick all over again. But it is good u guys did the show because it lets us know that we are not alone. Maybe my situation is a little different, but i too was pregnant at the age of 18. The father of the child was already out of the picture and i was struggling on my own, but just the thought of a wonderful, beautiful and new life growing inside of me kept me going. For me the experience was new and exciting. I spent months planning and dreaming of my baby's future. On May 26, 2004 my whole life changed. I was eight months pregnant and this particular day felt different and I didnt know why. Later on that evening I had noticed that my baby girl was not moving around like she normally does so I decided to have my aunt bring me to the hospital to make sure that everything was ok. When the nurse did a sonogram, she could not find a heartbeat. Two more doctors tried but could not find one either. From the looks on their faces i knew something was terribly wrong, and thats when they told me that they were sorry but my baby girl was gone. After being admitted to the hospital, they took me to a specialist to a final sonogram just to make sure. I prayed that this was all a mistake and that maybe this doctor would be able to find a heartbeat where the other ones couldnt, but the result was the same. I then had to spend 5 days in a hospital to wait to give birth a baby who i knew wouldnt let out that first cry or take her first breath. I will never look at pregancy the same again. To this day I do not know why my baby died or if there was something wrong with me. It hurts too much for me to find out. I know that I did everything right, no drinkning or smoking. I ate healthy. I can't understand why this happened. Everyday I am tortured, just thinking that maybe if i had made to the hospital a couple of hours earlier my baby would be okay. I am scared that now if I do become pregnant again, i will spend the whole 9months being scared and stressed out and worried. Im scared now and I'm not even pregnant. It is good to see that other people have lost children and have been able to regain control of their lives and still have hope for the future. Maybe one day I will be able to have hope for the future, and heal as well.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lucia Martinez, Pasco, WA — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:20:15 GMT

I'm a proud mother of two beautiful girls. I've never experienced a miscarriage myself but two of my sisters have various times and I can honestly say its a lose everyone feels. My younger sister just lost her baby at 15 weeks in her bathroom on sunday morning. She told me how everything happened, how she held her tiny little baby in her hand which was the size of a match book, how scared she was. Everything was okay, she was healthy and there was no reason for this to just happen all of a sudden. I was learning Tagalog so that I could contribute to that baby's learning of his daddy's language, along with spanish and english. I was so excited! I wanted that baby to know his/her roots and to be proud of it. I was crying unconsolably for a bit, sad for my sister that she went through all of that without her family there with her, sad that this is the second time it happens. I call her everyday since she lives about 2 hours away, just so that she knows she is not alone and that I love her. I know one day God will give her a precious baby to call her Mommy and for her to love and nurture. Motherhood is awsome! Don't give up hope.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

V, New Bedford, MA — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:20:22 GMT

I just want to thank you all for the great job you've done about this sensitive subject. I had 1 ectopic pregnancy and 2 miscarriages; in which one of them was just a month ago. When my husband and I found out we're pregnant, we agreed not to tell anybody till after the first trimester just so we won't all get too excited. Because last year was when we found out that I have an ectopic pregnancy after announcing to all our families and friends. This time, we want to make sure that we will pass the first 3 months. Unfortunately, on the day of my first prenatal visit, we found out I had a miscarriage. Although, we can came to the doctor's office prepared for any news (good or bad), emotionally we were not really ready. My husband doesn't like to talk about it much. So right now, I guess you could say I'm in sort of denial about it. I grieve silently when no one is around. I told my mom and she's been very supportive. I hang-on to the thought that it's not time yet. My husband and I are still hopeful that one day, we will have our own little bundle(s) of joy. Our only consolation is knowing that we have little angels watching over us. And I appreciate you all being so sensitive about this issue.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Reshma Peters Chicago, IL — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:29:30 GMT

Many thanks for airing such an important story, I am 29 years old and have had 5 miscarriages in the last 5 years. I have had several blood testing and also genetic testing on both myself and my husband, I have also had a hysterosalpingogram and everything was normal. In my last pregnancy I made it to about 9 weeks and betweent one week to the next when my doctor did another ultrasound there was no heartbeat. I have been taking baby aspirin to help my blood flow better and also my prenatal vitamins daily. I don't know how much more I can do this emotionally and physically. My husband and I both want to have a baby so bad and I can't give that to him right now. I am sad, frustrated, mad and confused. Thank you for the information shared in this program I will be sure to discuss it with my doctor since I have already started another cycle of clomid.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Melissa Kirsch, Waynesburg, PA` — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:31:25 GMT

THANK YOU, for the "I want a Baby!" series that has been running this week. I have found the stories inspirational. I have a common condition called PCOS, and struggled for 2.5 years with infertility, including a miscarriage after two years of trying to conceive, which was devastating since it had taken so long just to BECOME pregnant. My husband and I finally achieved a successful pregnancy and brought our son, Joseph, into the world on September 23, 2006. He is the main reason I've even been able to watch the Today Show - I watch it every morning while nursing him. Before that, I was always in transit or at work during the show. Thanks so much for doing this series. I believe it will provide hope and strength to the many women suffering from infertility.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kaneshia Robinson,St.Louis,MO — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:31:26 GMT

All I ever wanted was a child of my own,going through three devastating miscarriages made me lose hope.I didn't think I was fertile.I thought maybe God wanted me to go down another road,but I prayed that I could just go down the road carrying a baby.However,four years later not even trying to conceive,last year my husband told me I was pregnant.Normally when a relative or a close friend is pregnant,I have a dream about fish.I've dreamt of many things,but not one about shrimp,I then discovered I was pregnant.My unborn baby was the shrimp of the sea not only in my dream,but when he was born(6lbs12o).So never give up hope,my husband didn't.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa, Phoenix, AZ — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:35:23 GMT

Thank you so much for your story on miscarriages. I am 27 years old and have had 2 miscarriages in 5 months. My regular OB told me that he thought it was just bad luck and if it happened again he would definetly do tests. Well, I am not willing to let it happen again so I found a specialist and just like Christine (the woman you featured today) I have a blood clotting disorder. Watching her story had me in tears because her story could very well be my own. I go through the same exact thing she did before she had her child. When I see a pregnant woman or a newborn baby I just want to cry. Life seems so unfair at times. I avoid friend's parties for fear that a pregnant woman might be there. I'm missing out on the fun things in life because I'm trying to protect myself from the hurt feelings I experience everytime I am in a mall or a resturant and a pregnant woman walks by. I look forward to the day that when I don't feel this way and I am finally holding my baby in my arms. It's so hard to want something so badly and have it taken away so fast. Thank you so much for doing this story. It has given me a new hope for the future. Meredith and anyone else that has gone through multiple miscarriages and gone on to have a baby are my inspiration.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

susan desmarais, oak bluffs, ma — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:39:56 GMT

thank you so much for doing this segment on miscarriage. i am a des exposed woman and survived 7 miscarriages. i was never able to give birth and that sadness is part of me...these days preceding mother's day are especially difficult...your show gave me comfort by validating miscarriage as a death of a family member. even though i did not birth a baby i am still a mother....

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Worried parents, Union, NJ — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:40:01 GMT

My daughter is 8 weeks pregnant and knew going into the pregancy that she has a clotting disorder.She had a hemotologist who was all too happy to give her the blood thinning injections when she flew for her honeymoon and for another trip. But as soon as she became pregnant, no one wanted to touch her. She knows the risks and is frustrated and hurt beyond belief at the cold heartedness of the doctors. One hemotologist told her her wouldn't give her the injections until she had at least one miscarriage. The psychological pain will be unbearable. She has already heard the baby's heartbeat and was so excited. The stress is unbelievable for her. Who do you turn to when multiple doctors want nothing to do with you?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beth, Eau Claire, WI — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:43:54 GMT

I was happy to see your story this morning on miscarriage and the devastation that it leaves with families. However, I was disappointed to see that your story focused mainly on miscarriages that occur before you carry a pregnancy to term and that you didn't acknowledge the scenario that many women face of a miscarriage in a later pregnancy. While at that time it may not be due to infertility, it is devastating nonetheless and I think that it is important to let women know that it is possible to miscarry even after you have had successful pregnancies. I suffered a miscarriage during my fourth pregnancy. While I didn't have the added fear of whether or not I would ever be able to get pregnant, it was still a horrible loss and one that I was not prepared for since miscarriage is usually portrayed as a problem with first pregnancies. I think that there are many many women in your audience who would be able to relate to this type of miscarriage and who are wishing that their situations had been acknowledged during your story this morning, as well, even if it wasn't the focus. My heart goes out to all women who suffer any time of pregnancy loss. My hope for them is that they have people in their lives who allow them to grieve for their loss in order to work through their emotions and prepare for what lies ahead.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Shannon Michigan — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:45:22 GMT

Thank you so much and I too would like to thank Meredith for correcting the doctor. No one wants to say it is a death in the family, I've heard so many unhelpful things..like it is good that it was early (from people with good intentions) that i started to get mad when i heard him say "it's like a death in the family" but she was quick to correct him and i appreciated it greatly! It's such a sad thing to go thru...

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Catherine, Alexandria, Virginia — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:50:58 GMT

My husband and I have been trying to conceive since we got married two years ago. Last year I was diagnosed with endometriosis after excruciating pain. After two surgeries and one failed IVF attempt, my doctor put me on the pill, because I wanted to give my body some rest. Well, I got pregnant in March while on the pill, but suffered a miscarriage in April. I wish the health insurance would cover the incredible costs of fertility treatment. That would make the life of people suffering from infertility at least a little bit easier.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Michele Dotson, Cape Coral, Fl. — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:51:32 GMT

It's very comforting to know others share similar issues with regards to infertility and losses. You always feel your alone, but there are other women that have this unfortunate commonality. I was brought to tears by today's story. I myself have been going through fertility treatment for 2 years now with my husband. After our 2nd IVF attempt we were blessed with a positive pregnancy test that turned out to be triplets. At 20 weeks into the pregnancy we lost our babies. The hardest part was having to go through process of labor and delivery, then leave the hospital with out our babies. May 16th will be 1 year and I still cry when I think about those precious little babies I held only for a few minutes. Nobody should have to experience such pain. We have tried IVF since then but were unsuccessful. We are now looking at Embry Donation and Adoption. Viewing this morning's story gives me hope. Thank you so much for sharing!!!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Anne Compton, Tampa, FL — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:52:04 GMT

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for addressing this topic this week. My husband and I have suffered 2 miscarriages and are currently 6weeks pregnant with pregancy #3. All infertility tests, so far, show nothing is scientifically wrong. Tomorrow is my 6 week sonogram and I am scared out of my mind!!! My big questions is, "how do I emotionally cope with the friends who are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. 8 new pregnancy announcements between Feb.- Mar.-all are close friends. I try to be excited for them, but I don't want to attend any social event because I lose it emotionally- just being in the same room is too hard. So- how do I keep my friends as friends, even thought my internal thoughts are so unhappy regarding their pregnancies? They have what I want"

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kirsten, Salt Lake City, UT — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:53:09 GMT

Tiffany S from Philadelphia, I also had problems with thin uterine lining. My understanding is that this prevents implantation rather than causing miscarriage. I had 3 failed IVF cycles due to failure to implant, and the clinic told us to give up and adopt. We ended up going to the Sher Clinic in Las Vegas who specialize in treating this problem. We did one cycle there and now have 2 year old twins. Good luck!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jenn Chase — Tue, 08 May 2007 16:53:57 GMT

When I was in my early 20's, I was diagnoised with PCOS. It was not much of a surprise considering my mother and sister also have PCOS. My sister underwent IVF in order to conceive so I knew getting pregnant would be a challenge. My regular OB was not acting aggressive enough saying that my husband and I were young (we were 28 at the time) and had plenty of time. After a couple of months, I demanded that my OB refer me to the best doctors we could find. After only 1 cycle of hormone tx by injection and 1 IUI, we were pregnant. We had a healthy 9.8 pound son in November 2006. Can you please have your experts answer the following question for us. I had heard that sometimes PCOS can reverse itself after a pregnancy. At my 8 weeks follow up, my regular OB was quick to try and get me to take the birth control pill again. I informed him that I did not want to go that route yet so that I could see if I would cycle on my own (with the idea the PCOS reversed itself)and not mess with my hormone levels via the pill. My OB said that it would be unlikely that I would cycle on my own since I conceived via IUI. Nonetheless, I held my ground. I did cycle 3 times every 28 days without any medical help. I did not cycle last month. Does this now mean that more then likley the PCOS is still an issue?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lindsay Lawson Sonora, CA — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:09:48 GMT

This morning I turned to the show just in time to see the piece you did on Christine. As soon as she started talking about the clotting disorder I burst into tears becase I was recently diagnosed after my third miscarraige in.We have a wonderful four year old son, obviously a miracle, he was my first pregnancy. We have gone through so much pain, it was healing to hear Merideth and Dr. Grifo speak about it being a death in the family-it is a death of a child, dream, future that you've planned. Because of the area we live in, health care is limited, and I was told that no testing would be done until I lost a third pregnancy and to hear Dr. Grifo say that it just wasn't right was so healing. We are now in the process of finding out the right meds for me and try and decide if we are going to try again. I work in the medical community and see women and their families go through this as I also go through it. Losing a pregnancy is so isolating, people try to say and do the right thing to comfort you, but as Merideth said, just hold them tight and let them grieve. This subject is so taboo that I am so grateful that your show has decided to this piece. Thank you so much.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kelly Iffert, Newton, IL — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:10:01 GMT

Thank you for doing a story on something most people don't want to talk about. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 5 years now. We have lost 3 babies. My first miscarriage "Angel" was at 6 weeks. I had been through all different kinds of drugs and injections. I had gotten pregnant by IUI (with my husband's sperm). I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. I tried IVF 2 times with no success and after being in lots of pain and depression, I stopped all fertility treatments and surprisingly became pregnant 1 year later, naturally. I lost Mason Douglas to preterm labor at 4 1/2 months. I tried to get pregnant again for one year with no success. So I started Clomid and Metformin again and got pregnant that month. I lost Bailey Anne at 5 1/2 months. I was finally diagnosed with a weak cervix. I lost Bailey August 9, 2006. Since then I have been continuing to take Clomid and Metformin and doing IUI. My doctor ups my dosage of Clomid each month, but I am still waiting to get pregnant. My maternal fetal specialist does not want me to do IVF or gonadatropin injections again because of my weak cervix. I couldn't handle the weight of multiples, even with a cerclage. I am currently on 250 mg of Clomid and 2000mg of Metformin daily. I will find out in 2 weeks if this round of IUI worked or not. My husband and I have talked about adoption but just haven't reached the point of quitting trying for a biological child, yet. I never dreamed I would have to go through what I have in the last 5 yrs. It has truly been a nightmare. I know my children are with God and that I will be a parent here on earth when it is in God's will, but it has still been very difficult to get through everything. I feel for every woman who has lost a baby. There is nothing more devastating!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kristy, Wilmington Vermont — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:11:51 GMT

Thank you so much for this story. When you have gone through something so painful it helps to know you are not alone. I am 28 years old and have had 2 miscarriages, the first at 8 wks, and the 2nd at 21 wks. They called it a 2nd trimester miscarriage, but I had a baby. He was a little boy that lived for an hour after his birth. I bled through most of the pregnancy, but my doctor was unable to tell me why, just that it sometimes happens. He told me to try again, two miscarriages did not mean there is a problem. After hearing all these stories, I want to make sure first. Thank you again.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Deedee Loy — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:14:03 GMT

I didn't get to watch the news on miscarriages this morning but I have been reading alot of the comments. I myself have never had a miscarriage, I am on my 6th child not by choice, I did have my tubes tied after my 5th and became pregnant 2 months later (after they were tied). I feel bad for the women who have had miscarriages, I had a brother whose girlfriend carried the baby until she was 8 months. She went in for a routine dr. appointment and couldn't hear her heartbeat. She came home went the next day and was induced and had my niece Summer...they took pics and had to have a funeral. My brother is no longer w/her and we don't live in the same town but I frequently think about my little niece and wonder what she would look like. She would have been 14 this July. So even though I haven't been through what alot of the women have my heart does go out to all of you. I can only somewhat feel what you are going through.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Wendy, Tucson, Arizona — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:20:10 GMT

I would like to add my thanks as well. Especially for covering a number of topics. I, too, have dealt with both infertility and miscarriage. It took us three years and the help of a doctor to get pregnant again after our first miscarriage and having the second was the most difficult thing I've ever been through. Truly it was "a death in the family" for me and having friends telling me that I was fortunate to only have been 8 weeks along was like rubbing salt in the wound. Your segment has been wonderful with bringing this topic to light. A special thanks to Meredith Vieira for mentioning that the best thing other people can do is not say anything and just hug you. (Virtual hugs going out to all those women who've recently suffered such a loss.) Adding to this, after years of dreaming of a wonderful birth, holding my daughter fresh from my womb and being able to breastfeed her, I received another slap in the face when I ended up with an emergency c-section and to have no milk come in. Now doctors are telling me it's better to just have c-sections. No way! All of the research says that VBACs are a viable option and just as safe as repeat cesareans for most women. Would you please cover breastfeeding issues and VBACs in the future? Your show is just wonderful and the perfect place to promote awareness of these issues.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Maria, Augusta Georgia — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:23:21 GMT

My sister became pregnant and suffered a miscarriage shortly after. In the process of this all she lost a fallopian tube. She is a tiny woman that weights about 88 lbs and is 4ft 11”and has been trying desperately to get pregnant again. No one can tell her why she has miscarried and now they are starting from square one again with the dye injecting and taking prenatal vitamins. Her husband was devastated about the miscarriage and desperately wants her to get pregnant. Will they be able to conceive again with just one fallopian tube?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Elizabeth, Indiana — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:25:16 GMT

I, too, lost a child to miscarriage. It was the most horrific experience of my life to the point where even 6 months after the loss, I couldn't go to church during Christmas time to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. How could I celebrate His birth when my baby would never be born? I found out through a friend about PCOS and Insulin Resistance. When I talked to my doctor about it, he humored me about it and did the testing. Turns out that's what I have. My miscarriage was in July, 2002. With medication to control the insulin resistance, clomid, FSH shots, artificial insemination, and progesterone inserts, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in November, 2004 after being in the care of an excellent specialist in Indianapolis. I also had to lose 68 pounds. If you're overweight and find that you have PCOS, have your fasting insulin levels tested. I prefer to think that the child I lost was to let me know that I had a pre-diabetic condition. We'll be trying again soon for another child, but we know that another miscarriage could be a possibility.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

JH., Troy, NY — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:26:43 GMT

I too suffered a miscarriage when I was 10 weeks pregnant. It was one of the most heartbreaking events I have ever experienced. I wondered what I had done wrong in my life to have to go through this. My husband and I were absolutely devastated by our loss and I eventually suffered from depression for a few months after our loss. We were told it was very common to have this happen and that we should try again. That wasn't something I wanted to hear at the time. I had people say they were sorry for us and even one person who told me "that you just have to get over it". I was furious. No one should ever try to put any kind of timetable on grief and loss. I realized that no one was going to tell me to "get over it" and that I would make peace with it when I was ready to. It became a wound that is forever in my heart. Most days a bandaid stays on that wound and keeps it covered but there are days that this particular wound breaks open and has to be carefully tended to again. It becomes a loss that is forever with you. You never get over it, you just learn to live with that constant loss of missing your child. We did eventually go on to have a beautiful daughter who is now 9 years old and the love of our lives. But the baby lost is forever in our hearts!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jennifer P, Reading Pennsylvania — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:27:09 GMT

THANK YOU Meredith! I can't begin to put into words just how perfect the timing was on this mornings segmant. Like you were reading my mind! My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year while suffering from UTERINE FIBROIDS. Finally....we achieved what seemed to be the greatest gift! 10 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy, with no bleeding, I "just didn't feel right". My husband, even though deep in his heart feeling as if I was just being "pshycho pregnant woman" agreed that if I felt something was wrong than lets go to the emergency room. I was examined, and no miscarriage....no bleeding. Then came the ultrasound.....NO heartbeat. I couldn't belive it...how could this possibly be happening to me? My largest of my 5 Fibroids had tripled in size. Now the size of a large grapefruit, this Fibroid had pushed on my Uterus and stopped the baby's heart from beating. How could my own body take this precious life??? Still the posibility remained that there was chromosonal abnormality. Either way, so painful but if the baby wasn't right, I did believe this was God's way. After the D&C the pathology report came back....the baby was fine. Devistated yet again. Hearing over and over from friends and family how "getting pregnant in the first place is such a good sign". That's like hearing "just relax" when you're taking your temperature, checking for ovulation and wondering why your husband is not home right at this exact moment! I never thought in a million years that something I've been wanting since I can remember as a little girl would be so very hard to achieve. I would be extremely gratful if the topic of Fibroids could be addressed on an upcoming segmant. My prayers go out to every woman who is experiencing this kind of pain....I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Hannah Roach, Belton, South Carolina — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:29:44 GMT

Thank oyu for this topic on the Today Show. I have suffered multiple miscarriages. (seven) and I have been married for 4 years. People mean well, but sometimes just don't get it. With the information given this morning when I do see my doctor in 2 weeks I will be asking for other test. All pregnancies have ended by 11.5 weeks. I am so scared to get my hopes up and just want a baby more than anything. Adoption is an option for us as well but do people really understand the cost of that. Thanks again for the topic of Miscarriages this morning.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Brandy Waggoner, Durant, OK — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:43:21 GMT

I wanted to add that I too have miscarried. I misscarried my first child, then had a healthy baby girl (who is now 12 years old), then miscarried 2 more times (last one with twins). I had finally given up of having anymore children and was schedualed to have my tubes tied. My OG/GYN convinced me that there was a 30 waiting period for the procedure in Texas from the time you sign your concent forms. So I waited. I had my pre surgery pregnancy test done and found out that I was pregnant again. Thank God I waited as my doctor "advised" because I now have a healthy 7 year old son.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Alisa, Ft. Lauderdale, FL — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:44:28 GMT

After reading all the comments above it is helpful to learn that I am not alone on the journey of wanting a baby. I am currently going through my fourth miscarriage and the pain and anger are unbearable. We have had several blood tests and all are normal. I had a hysteroscopy to remove polyps from my uterus so we were hopeful this pregnancy was going to last and we were finally going to start a family. All was going well and we heard a heartbeat at 2 ultrasounds and then it was gone. We are going to do tests on the fetus and hope to shed some light and get some answers. Not sure the next step but this is all the most difficult and painful experience my husband and I have ever gone through. No one can really relate until you have experienced yourself.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Deena,Covington,Ky — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:47:47 GMT

I,too have suffered the emptiness of losing a baby and the loss is still with me 8yrs later. Though I have bookend daughters,most beautiful and precious to me,I still feel the ache for the one I never got to hold. The "Miracle" that escaped my grasp. Its this loss that makes me hate the term "miscarriage".`I feel the true miscarriage of the situation is the grief that the parents {and siblings] suffer that is so often overlooked by society,co workers and even the best of friends, that we are never given permission to cry out loud for the loss of our most precious gift...our children. It's not "Ok",there maybe other babies,but that "one" will never be replaced,"God's Way" is not always a comforting way,for a grieving parent. Just love your friend,coworker,sister,brother[yes,men suffer just as much] hug them and let them cry. Thank you for bringing this sad everyday reality to the doorstep of the world. Our Children Matter

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jami - Michigan — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:50:19 GMT

I can't thank you enough for covering such a delicate subject. It means so much for every woman out there who have suffered through such a horrible loss. It is definitely a death in the family and unfortunately no one can understand that unless they have experienced it for themselves. I applaud Meredith for making sure she got the point across that you should not tell someone who has suffered through a miscarriage things like "it was meant to be" or "you'll get pregnant again" etc. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 6 years we have had one ectopic resulting in the loss of a fallopian tube, 6 miscarriages and the diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility'. We just lost the 7th about 2 months ago at 7 weeks after our first cycle with IVF and it is so devastating. We are moving forward with another cycle of IVF and are both scared to death of what might be another miscarriage. We have been through every test and I have had so many surgeries all with just one tiny goal in mind, a baby! Thank you again for telling this story about pregnancy loss and infertility.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

tan,monticello,florida — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:51:32 GMT

i have suffered two miscarriages and although a lot of people offer support out of the kindness of their heart, no one truly know the pain that it endures whether it was a still birth, miscarriage, or the baby died after being born; it was still a life that you loved and lost and will forever cherish.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kristi Hunt, Mtn Grove MO — Tue, 08 May 2007 17:57:14 GMT

My husband and I lost our first son on Oct 12, 2007. I was 29 weeks pregnant and noticed that he hadn't moved in 24 hours. We made the hour long trip to the dr and after an ultrasound they said he had no heartbeat. 2 days later I went to labor and delivery to be induced. Facing family and friends was incredibly difficult and hearing the same platitudes over and over were difficult. The same, oh you can try again, or it was just meant to be, made me more angry. Those that would just sit and say nothing or just listen to me or just be a shoulder to cry on were what helped me move to the healing process. We are currently expecting another son on August 26, I am 24 weeks along and he is moving and kicking like a soccer player. Although every little thing seems to worry us and we are overly cautious, but we do want to bring home our baby boy and have many years of memories. Thanks for sharing something that happens all the time, but noone seems to talk about it until it happens to you or to someone close to you, then all of a sudden everyone seems to say, I went through the same thing.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Ann — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:01:25 GMT

I didn't get to see the program about the miscarriages, but from the feedback I have read it sounded great. I understand the stigma that goes along with miscarriage. I miscarried our second child. The pregnancy was normal, nothing out of the ordinary. I had already been experiencing her move and had heard her heartbeat several times. When I went for my visit at 18 weeks, we couldn't hear a heartbeat anymore. The nurse said she was probably behind my c-section scar and that was preventing us hearing it, I knew something was wrong. 2 weeks later I began to spot and we went in. After a physical exam, they said I was not having a miscarriage that everything was fine. So they sent me to ultrasound to verify. When they did the ultrasound I saw her and noticed there was no heartbeat. The tech quickly turned the screen away so I couldn't see it and sent me back to the doctor who informed me my baby had died. She was 18 weeks, I had a D&C the next day. About a week later, I was still having times of crying over the loss and had my father tell me "You need to get over it, it isn't like you already had a child and then had her die. It isn't the same thing." My little sister died when she was 6 months old, so my parents do know how it feels to have a child die. But they didn't understand that a miscarriage has the same grief that you would experience with giving birth and then having the child die. I'll never forget how much that hurt, being told it isn't the same thing Not only that, but my best friend found out she was pregnant the day before I miscarried. I had to watch her go through her pregnancy and have her son and being reminded how our little girl had died. We did have another child, a girl, 2 years later.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kelli Boise Idaho — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:05:54 GMT

after dating someone for two years, off and on... I found myself pregnant. I was scared to death and I thought for sure my boyfriend would run for the door, but to my amazement, he was supportive beyond my wildest dreams! I cried from the moment I found out I was pregnant due to the hormones(out of control) My boyfriend was my rockand got me through this, telling me we would be okay. Once I knew everthing would work out and I would be okay... we both were overjoyed about becoming a mommy and dadday. I was alreading dreaming of what the baby would look like, who'a eye lashes it would have. I couldn't wait to hold my baby! I was ready to buy baby clothes,etc. I was so happy, finally, I am going to be a MOM. Then two weeks later I suffered a misscarriage.... my world fell apart. The bond I had with my baby was so special, someone only a mother could explain. 4/12 was the worst day in my life and I have cried everyday missing the baby I will never hold. I'm not sure we'll try again, since this was unplanned and we're not married, and our relations has had it's up's and down's. I know for sure that I do want to be a mommy again someday soon. I have never realized that a miscarriage is so personal and the pain is real. Talking about losing a child to misscarriage is something real and it shouldn't be shameful! I pray evernight to god, that he takes care of my baby, until we meet again! Stay Strong!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa,scottsdale,arizona — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:06:52 GMT

I was very happy to see a story on this subject. I have a 5yr old son and have had two miscarriages. It was devistating to go through it. I still have troubles of dealing with it. I am not sure how to cope i wanna try again but I am so scared of being told the same thing im sorry but you are miscarring again. But it is nice that so many woman are strong enough and are going through the same thing. it is not a good thing but it is nice that im not alone in this. I just pray that for all woman out there that are going through the same thing stay together strong through this.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa Ward — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:08:01 GMT

I was 4/2 months along when I found out my baby died. The doctors have no answers even though they ran a panel on my blood and placenta. I had the QuadMarker test done 2 weeks before my son's death--it was negative. The ultrasound at 16 week showed no problems. Odds are that the problem lies with me.(I just turned 36.) My question is...what are the 10 blood tests that the woman profiled asked for? It may give me a place to start in this proactive approach.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tamara, Stuart, Florida — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:10:01 GMT

After suffering multiple miscarriages, and failed fertility treatments, I gave up on getting pregnant. My husband and I just adopted a beautiful newborn baby boy, and guess what...I am 4 months pregnant(without fertility treatment, which is a total shock!). It is strange how things work out. So to all the ladies that have suffered as I have, dont give up hope...miracles do happen!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Amanda St. Louis, MO — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:16:38 GMT

This story hit close to home - I experienced a stillbirth in March because of a blood disorder. They found it in my 23rd week of pregnancy but it was too late to save our baby girl. Its so difficult and not something anyone I ever knew talked about or experienced. Thank you for covering this and I hope that you also look into stillbirth and the effect it has on couples and families.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Rosa Martinez, Yonkers, Ny — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:17:25 GMT

I am 25 and had a very early miscarriage November of last year. We have not been trying to get pregnant, but are not protecting ourselves either just letting God decide when we should be parents. But after the miscarriage I got a little worried. Am going to have problems considering we have not been using protection for 5 years now and have gotten pregnant and miscarried once? Am I not in the perfect age to get pregnant with the wink of an eye?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Misty, Mountain View, WY — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:21:25 GMT

Thank you so much for this piece. It has brought me some hope. I recently lost my baby at 18.5 weeks. We went to the docotr to find out thegender and instead found out our baby was gone. It has been 1 month and 2 days since that day and it's the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with. We have 3 other kids and so people tell me "well you should just be grateful for what you have." That makes nothing easier. This baby we lost was very much loved and ver wanted. It wouldn't have mattered if we had 3 kids or 12 kids, she would still be sorely missed. This is just a terrible tragedy that no one should ever have to suffer. We are going to try again and hope that we can yet have another healthy baby.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Amy, Omaha NE — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:21:54 GMT

It is so nice to have this brought out in the open. I have gone through 2 miscarriages and now all the tests to see why. Being called a "habitual aborter" is not an easy thing to hear...especially because it means the dr has no idea why I keep losing my babies. Dealing with the loss of two babies is hard enough, but having well-intentioned people blather on about "meant to be" & "try again" does not help. Out of all my family and friends, I had one person (ONE!) actually say they were sorry for the loss of my BABY. Sorry for your loss is great (honestly), but having someone else actually say "baby" is just such a comfort (in a very weird sort of way). My best friend was due 2 weeks after I was and gave birth to a healthy, beautiful little girl. I love my friend dearly, but she never understood why I had such a difficult time sharing her joy. Her every milestone only reminded me what I should have experienced. She would get upset when I didn't want to go to her baby shower, or come out and see the baby. I am thrilled for her and definitely would NOT want her to have gone through what I have, but I guess I needed a bit more understanding that she could give at the time. Maybe stories like this will help those lucky ones who have no expierence understand a little bit better.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Laurie, Vacaville, CA — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:24:48 GMT

Thanks so much for providing such an informative show on Today regarding miscarriage. Sometimes it is such a private pain to endure - especially when it is early on in a pregnancy and the pregnancy had not yet been shared with others. I, too, suffered two miscarriages in my mid-30's. There was no real explanations why they happened. And having to endure such insensitivity from others - from physicians to even my spouse, was almost unbearable. One physician blamed it on my "older eggs". My husband at the time provided an insensitive comment stating that "it isn't my fault." But luckily, my third pregnancy resulted in a healthy and beautiful babygirl. So thank you for helping to educate others, and thank you Meredith for sharing your personal experience.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Julie I., Tucson, Arizona — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:25:56 GMT

Thank you for addressing this issue. Like everyone else who has posted, my husband and I have been dealing with infertility issues for 6 and a half years. We were lucky to be blessed with a beautiful daughter who just turned 7 years old a few months ago. We did not have any problems conceiving her and I did not have any complications with the pregnancy. Two years after she was born, we got pregnant again only to miscarry. We were completely devastated. We went through the clomed, the infertility treatments, the tests, etc. only to be told that we are perfectly healthy and there is no reason we shouldn't be having kids. About 2 and a half years after my first miscarriage we discovered (almost too late) that I was pregnant again and only after having severe pain and a very good OB, discovered that it was an ectopic pregnancy. So in the space of 24 hours we went from realizing I was pregnant to learning that there was no possible way for the pregnancy to last. We got me to the E.R. and into surgery in the nick of time as my tube was ready to burst. Fast forward to March of this year. Once again we learned that after 6 years of trying and failing that we were finally expecting again. I felt really good for about a month then I started to have the spotting and the cramping and eventually miscarried again. The things that have been the hardest for me to deal with is that we have no explanation as to why we have a hard time getting pregnant and carrying a baby. All of the tests that we've had done just come back with the result of that we're perfectly healthy. My husband is 31 and I am 30 so our age shouldn't be a factor. The other thing that has been really hard is since I've had my daughter I've had to sit back and watch my brothers and their wives have four kids between the two families and I've had to be completely elated and ecstatic for them. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for them, but it also is a reminder of what is not happening for us. How do I deal with the emotional side of all of this? How much further do I pursue trying to have more kids? Do I just throw in the towel and enjoy the one miracle that I have? I need to be able to move past this obstacle but I don't feel that I can completely give up. Emotionally though I feel as if I am on a never ending roller coaster. How do I deal with all of this? One last thing that I think should be brought up with this series is that miscarriages are just as hard on the fathers-to-be as they are on the mothers-to-be. True that the fathers don't have to suffer through all of the physical changes that the women do, but they suffer just as much emotionally. They also do a phenomenal job of trying to support their wives as we deal with everything.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Becca, New Jersey — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:27:08 GMT

Thank you for airing this series on infertility. My husband and I have been suffering through this long process for over two years now. We have been through multiple failed IVF cycles, two miscarriages and are now moving on to other options. Each stage of the process brings its own unique frustrations. Thank you so much for giving a voice to all of us and our sturggles through this each and everyday. It is an especially difficult time with Mother's Day coming up.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Venessa Cunningham, Ocotillo CA — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:29:31 GMT

My husband and I tried every avenue available thru the military health care system in the 1980's and never did get pregnant during the 17 years we tried. Adoption became an option with a tax client's daughter who was in foster care. That was an emotional roller coaster ride as well. I still have problems seeing pregnant women, especially those who smoke and/or do drugs, and I don't do baby showers. I'm glad that technology has come a long ways and that it sounds like the military has kept up with the advances. Back in the 80's we were told that my endometriosis would be cured if I got pregnant but my husband was shooting blanks. I made the mistake of trusting the doctors and not being my own best advocate.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tina Rochefort, Bad Axe, Michigan — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:33:09 GMT

I want to thank you for the special about miscarriages this morning. It was funny I just happened to be flipping channels and ran across "I want a baby" on the screen so I quick switched back. I am actually home after delivering my second "miscarriage/stillbirth" I was at 20 weeks and 2 days gestation when I had my little girl on April 1st of 2007. But in October of 2006 I had also delivered a little boy at 19 weeks gestation. It is been such a hard year and so devestating. Because I have followed everything by textbook and have done all the right things. My problem is that my water breaks in the first case it was a slow leak and I didn't even know. Even when I had mentioned it to my doctor I was told it was probably just my bladder and that I was just leaking urine. She never checked me for fluid. So when we got pregnant again I switched to a more high risk doctor office and everything was going great I was at 17 weeks and my water broke at work. My baby was still alive and doing as good as it could under the circumstances when I went in at 20 weeks for another ultrasound to check on her. Two days later she had passed away and I was induced. My doctors have been wonderful and they are going to try all the tests they can to find out what is going on. But for right now they have no idea what it is and I am so worried that they won't be able to find a reason and that I might have to go through losing another 2nd trimester baby again. But I was really glad when they were talking about proper things to say to someone who is going through a loss was just to give them a tight hug and tell them you love them. Because it is so hard for people to tell you that "everything happens for a reason" or "it was God's will" when they don't understand our hurt can't be brushed off so easily. It is a death in the family and know my husband and I both have two angels that we think about every single day.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Nellie Christian, Shelton, WA — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:38:29 GMT

I suffered many miscarriages many years ago, but because of stubbornness, finally was able to have children. Since it was so many years ago, the doctors did not know as much as they do now, but said I might have a hormone imbalance.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Karen Simons, Tallahassee, Florida — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:39:50 GMT

On February 16, 2006, we lost our daughter - Hope - because of an ectopic pregnancy. And while we will never know 100% that it was a girl, in our hearts she always will be. I had been told 18 years earlier I would never conceive, she was a miracle my husband and I were not expecting. We named her "Hope" because that was all we were going to have left. Now my doctors tell me I will never have another child, but I will always have hope. I missed the story this morning, but found out about it on line. Thank you for bringing this topic out. Too many of us mourn in silence. Also, I would like to remind everyone that October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day -- please light a candle that day for all of us who have lost the child that was so very wanted.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa Baltimore, Md — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:41:33 GMT

I must first say I did not see the episode on tv but I feel for all the letters sent. I also experienced one miscarriage, I thank god for my two beautiful healthy children but I was devasted by the miscarriage and no one understood why.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christina-san antonio, texas — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:46:03 GMT

I'm sorry I missed the show. Many people do not understand the grief someone feels after a miscarriage. I have 3 boys and never experienced any problems with pregnancy until recently. I had a miscarriage in August of 2006 and then another one in Jan. 2007. Even though no testing was done there seems to be no explaination as to why it happened the doctor said it just happens sometimes.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lindsey Cincinnati Ohio — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:48:16 GMT

Finally someone speaks out about how painful it is to lose a baby. A baby is still a baby now matter if you are 40 wks pregnant or 10 wks. I suffered a miscarriage and no one in my family speaks of it, but my sister-in-law lost her baby at 35wks and they talk about him all the time. I never got to see my baby's face, but he is still my baby. I have had one successful pregnancy and am a mother to a 15 month old little boy. I am once again trying to get pregnant with no luck.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

E. M. Rambo. Jefferson. City Mo. — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:50:22 GMT

I am 86 years old - and still suffer from the pain of 8 miscarrages before age 45. i did have two baby boys a year apart - and was so happy about them. We adopted two babies after the 6th loss - and they gave me the will to live. dont ever give up.I loved them all - and wanted them all and still grieve for them. The pain of the losses is still with me.I am crying as I write this and remembering the hurtful words I heard - and still hear ' they were not babies -only blobs of tissue'...

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

sherri charlotte,nc — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:52:54 GMT

from someone who experience a miscarraige in 86... the pain of miscarriage lessen overtime but you will still have questions like was baby a girl or boy; what color eyes.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Angie, Columbus, OH — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:54:46 GMT

The number of responses left definetly indicates a needed story. Thank you for talking about miscarriage when no one else likes to. I suffered a miscarriage at 11 weeks. My doctor avoided the topic like the plague. It astonished me- a woman Ob/Gyn and she never gave me straight answers for anything. It is a death in the family for sure and mothers who have suffered this need to talk to each other. Thanks for bringing this up!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Cassandra, Orlando FL — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:55:23 GMT

I have had 8 miscarriages. It was discovered after the first miscarriage, that I had a blood factor - RH Factor, where my blood antibodies would attack the father's blood antibodies. Since that discovery I was getting Rhogam shots to prepare my body for the next anticipated child. My husband and I have 2 teenage sons. My last son, balanced out my blood factoring problem. The one thing that has stayed with me, is not to prepare physically for the arrival of the baby until after the 7th month of pregnancy. It was safer for me to wait until after the completion of the 2nd trimester to begin to prepare for the arrival. During that time I did not have any stillbirths. It was a mental toll like no other, looking at women with babies, and wanting to hold your own. My family support system and my religious foundation have made those days now bearable. I am able to speak to others when presented about some of the experiences through miscarriages. It is good to know that it does not have to take as long any more to find out what is going on with your body.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sunshine, ElMonte, CA — Tue, 08 May 2007 18:57:29 GMT

Thanks for sharing this story. After 4 miscarriages, I was finally blessed with a baby girl who is now 4-years old. In memory of my losses, I have made a "angel baby charm bracelet". I have baby shoe charms (one for each) and a pink baby booty charm for my daughter. For those who are still trying, DO NOT GIVE UP!!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tonya Hauser, Lehigh Acres, Florida — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:06:51 GMT

I'm glad to hear how difficult miscarriage is for everyone. I felt like I was the only one. My first pregnancy went prefect. Then when Kayla was three we tried again, at 11 weeks I lost the baby. I was crushed no one around every had a miscarriage. My husband didn't know how to help. Then three years later we tried again and again we lost another baby. This time I find a support group. They help me a lot. I tried one last time and I had Connor. I was on bed rest and he came 4 1/2 weeks early. I feel blessed to have both of my children. Thank you for trying to help women, because it was hard to go thru.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lisa, Dallas — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:16:15 GMT

As a mother who suffered several miscarriages before having healthy kids and as a Texas resident, I apologize on behalf of our state for the insensitive comments made by someone named "Josh" from Bryan, Texas. There is no need to politicize this subject. My sincere condolences to all who lost a baby.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Michelle,Stafford,VA — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:27:35 GMT

I cried all through your show on miscarriages today. We have a daughter who will be 8 next week and for the last 7 years have been trying to have another child. We did get pregnant 2 years ago, but at 20 weeks we had lost our baby girl. I had a D&C and was totally upset after that. After many years of provera, clomid and ultrasounds everything that we had wanted and worked for was gone in an instant. There was no heartbeat on the ultrasound. I too have PCOS and the past two years we have just decided to try on our own. We are not pregnant yet, but maybe someday we will. We love and enjoy our only daughter, but we love just as much the one we lost. Thank you to Meredith and the Today Show for sharing the stories. I know when this happened to us we felt like we were all alone. Thanks Again

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Lexy Aurora Illinois — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:29:14 GMT

THANK YOU for doing this segment. I can't believe how hush hush miscarriage is in the USA. I suffered one at 14 weeks and my husband and I were devastated and are still coping with the loss. We hope to try sometime in the future, but until then we applaud those who are making the normal public know that it truly was a death in the family.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Nichole, Mesa, AZ — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:30:19 GMT

Thank you so much for this entire series. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 2 years now. We have yet to get pregnant. I appreciate the fact that you are educating people and breaking down the stigma surrounding infertility. Hopefully with this new awareness and more media coverage, state mandated insurance coverage will be a reality instead of just a far away fantasy for other infertile couples like my husband and I.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Ann, virginia — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:33:58 GMT

I have had two miscarriages. The first is what they called a blighted ovum and then another at 8 weeks. We saw the baby's heartbeat with the second one a week or two before. I have been diagnosed with a heart shaped uterus. You never hear anything about this condition. Some have told me that women have had healthy babies but there is a high risk of premature birth. If you have any information please share it.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kim Guess, Marion, KY — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:35:03 GMT

Thanks so much for this story. It is amazing how many people have suffered this tragic lost but yet very little support groups/information out there on the subject. After 7 years of trying to get pregnant & going thru all the testing & not finding out the why we finally were so excited to find out that we were finally expecting, then at the dr's appt. where we were supposed to hear the heartbeat we had discovered the baby died. That's when our 8 year marriage nearly fell apart, we coped with the loss in different ways & pulled away from each other. Then September 11th occured which brought a whole near perspective on life & a 6 month deployment with my husband's national guard unit. During that lonesome time I would have tons of the stupid comments but the one that topped them all would be "god took that baby so he wouldn't have to leave it behind". The following year, 2003 would bring more bad news, a tumor on my ovary. Surgery would later reveal it wasn't cancerous & the dr. was able to remove it, 2 months later I became pregnant. Our miracle finally arrived in December but not without a lot of scary times. I have never been officially diagnosed but my dr. immediately put me on a baby aspirin a day & also with progestrine suppositories 2 times a day(which insurance doesn't cover) for the first twelve weeks. We also almost lost this pregnancy at 4 months but the routine ultrasound discovered a problem, I was already dilated to 3cm, the problem a shortened cervix. So I was rushed into surgery to have a band put around my cervix. I know have a healthy 3 year old to be thankful for but life still is a little empty so last February 06 I became pregnant again. At only 4 weeks I began to spot, to the ER we went. After being observed that day & my counts dropping I was sent home being told I had miscarried, follow up in one week with my doctor. Another ultrasound was then performed to watch a cyst that had developed on the ovary that had once had the tumor on it. It had not grown but was told my dr. that if I know my body better than anyone else so if I still didn't feel good to come back before my next appointment in one month. After having a couple of pains that were doubling me over, I went back to the dr. who during another ultrasound discovered something they weren't comfortable with, so they sent me for blood work, the results revealed what they feared, eptopic pregnancy, the twin to the one I had lost 3 weeks earlier. I was then taken to have emergency surgery, during which since my tube was about to burst, the dr. was unable to save in order to save my life. I was then told my chances of conceiving are very slim but we are now trying Clomid to try to increase my chances. I do feel like I am blessed but still have a longing for another child, one which no one seems to relate to. I hope my story can go on to help someone & I hope the today show continues to report on this very important subject.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jolynn Wood, Warsaw, VA — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:37:24 GMT

I am a 30 year old woman who has been trying to conceive for 3 years. My husband has been dignosed with thyroid disease,and diabetes. Although we both have been tested and we are fine it gets very frustrating.I was on Clomid for 4 months. Is there some type of test we should ask for to speed the process.My husband is 39.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kathy, Milwaukee, Wisconsin — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:37:43 GMT

I had 2 miscarriages, one in 1983 shortly after the birth of my daughter and then one in 1990. I am blessed to have my healthy daughter. Yet every year I honor the days that my other children would have been born. I still wish I would have had more children and that my daughter would have had siblings.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kristin, Sheboygan, WI — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:38:46 GMT

Along these same lines - I would be interested in seeing a story/piece on "stillbirths" - this story today hit a nerve. Our family (rather close knit) is grieving the loss of my sister's baby girl, Jordin Marie. She was due to be born via c-section on 4/4/07 and instead on 3/28/07 she was stillborn. This story hit a nerve because my sister was told that the umbilical cord was "clotted 100% shut". Only a week to go, and then BAM! I consider Jordin to be as any of my other nieces...I'd like to see a story about stillbirths and just find out exactly how often this does happen...I seem to see alot more of these stillbirths in our newspapers.... Thank you kindly, Kristin Murphy

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Erin, Reno, Nevada — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:40:08 GMT

Thank you for your sensitivity to this unfortunately common occurance. I only wish I would have seen it 2 years ago when my husband and I began trying to start our family. I recall the feeling I had when I had become pregnant so quickly (not once but twice) only to feel inadequate and defeated when told that "things were not progressing". I too have the MTHFR blood clotting disorder that was finally tested for after miscarriage #2. The management for the disorder was started immediately upon becomming pregnant for the 3rd time. I am now the proud parent of a 3 month old. I hope others realize that they are not alone. Thank you doing a story on a tough topic.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christine Branchfield, New Port Richey, Fl — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:42:37 GMT

I cried through your piece today on miscarriage. My situation closely mirrored that of the person you profiled. I had one miscarriage, and then went on to have a son. I've since had three additional miscarriages, for a total of four. The specialists believe a clotting disorder is also at least partially to blame, much like the person in your profile today. Despite the use of injectible blood thinners with the last two pregnancies, I've still miscarried. I feel as though I've lost part of my soul and spirit after four miscarriages. I've become very good at putting on a happy face, acting like I'm fine, but I'm not. The pain I feel as a result of the miscarriages is all encompassing. The frustration is inexplicable. It's with me every day. My specialist has run every imaginable test, and he doesn't have a good explanation for the continued miscarriages. He says if we try again, we should be okay, although of course, there are no guarantees. But we've been told that each time, and each time we miscarried. We desperately want another child, but just thinking about all we went through with the miscarriages, the loss, it's almost too much to fathom. I've exhausted all resources in my immediate area looking for answers and peace of mind. I would love to find more information to help bring me peace to either move forward in our quest for another child or to help bring us closure to this chapter of our lives. I've been walking around feeling like a zombie for two years as a result of four miscarriages, and I need to find a way to find myself again for myself and my family. If there are any specialists reading this who might be able to point me in the right direction, please feel free to contact me.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

tan,monticello,florida — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:44:49 GMT

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Meghan, Boston — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:46:40 GMT

As a woman who has suffered three miscarriages, I was so glad to see that The Today Show is talking about this all-to-common issue. I found that medical personnel had the "better luck next time" attitude, which isn't helpful when dealing with such a painful and devastating time. I appreciated what the doctor had to say today when he said that doctors need to be proactive. I didn't trust that my first doctor was looking out for my best interest so I found a new doctor. Today, I am 16 weeks pregnant and thrilled to be healthy and happy as we expect our first child. Thank you for talking about miscarriages and infertility.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

P. Lynn — Tue, 08 May 2007 19:59:01 GMT

My husband and I lost our first pregnancy after trying throughout 3 years of marriage - we found out for sure over the telephone from our doctor who "mentioned" that "this happens with twins sometimes". He had not even told us it was twins,before he told us they were gone. My body said it would not give up so I had to go through a D&C (for both miscarriages) My husband, who has gone through much loss in his life from age 13, was determined not to grieve, because we can have more children. When I told my mother, she said you never get over the loss. She lost twins at birth and a third child partway through the pregnancy (my brother's twin) I must say that not allowing yourself to grieve is a big mistake. Not grieving made the second miscarriage even worse. You must grieve for the loss. We learned this the hard way. Finally a doctor determined that, while my progesterone level was within the range, she thought it was too low and put me on progesterone for the duration of the pregnancy. We now have two lovely girls. While both were born early (6.5 and 10 weeks), both due to group B strep, they have been our blessings. We lived through it and have decided not to have any more, because the loss would be too great (my age and the previous problems) for the 4 of us to handle. It is wonderful to see such a sensitive program air. I agree with others who have advised you to be your own advocate - read, explore the internet and go to your appointment armed with information that you feel may apply to your situation. If your MD does not take you seriously, find one who specializes in high-risk pregnancy and do not hesitate to go to them. It is your right, and your baby's right!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Susan, Mississippi — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:08:34 GMT

I had a miscarriage 6 years ago. As I sit here and read, tears are running down my face because I remember the pain I felt on that day, alone in the doctors office. I was 11 weeks and had been doing fine. My doctors appointment was late on a Friday afternoon, so I had to wait until Monday morning to go to surgery. It was the longest weekend of my life. I have two healthy children now. But I still think about that baby. It was a death in our family

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

P Watson, Baltimore MD — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:09:07 GMT

I was unable to watch the entire story this morning but caught a few minutes. I am glad to see this topic approached! I have two daughters, and had an ectopic pregnancy one year ago, in which my left tube was removed. Recently I have had 'baby fever' and just really want another baby. It is tough for me to be here at work with so many other pregnant women walking around, and I have a sister in law who is currently pregnant and I am just about avoiding her because it is a touchy subject for me. I don't know if it would be a feasible topic to cover women in similar situations, who have been through a loss and are ready to have more children. I know I would be interested in learning more/hearing more about women in a similar situation at this time, and how did they decide whether to try to have another child?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Dawn Neal, Aurora, IL — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:11:09 GMT

Thank you so very much for airing this very important, yet often, not talked about subject. I have had 5 miscarriages and am only now finding out a possible reason why. All of the babies I have lost to m/c are my babies. With each one's passing, it was a death in our family. I am blessed with a 22 month old, who is one of the greatest joys in my life. Someday, I will share with her about her siblings awaiting in Heaven. Thank you for your sensitivity and your acknowledgment of such a painful part of many couple's lives.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sheri, Orlando, FL — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:13:52 GMT

There is tremendous feeling of isolation that a person experiences after losing a baby. I've unfortunately had this experience. Thank you for your story and for bringing the issues of fertility to the forefront. Too often you hear of woman in the late 30s and 40s having babies and many of us have taken for granted that we wouldn't have any issues trying to conceive only to find out it isn't always easy. You've done a huge service by raising awareness of this difficult and painful process of infertility so many of us go through. Your segments are offering hope to so many people. Thank you!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beth Major, Charlestown, Rhode Island — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:23:00 GMT

Thank you for discussing this subject. My husband and I spent 18 years trying to start a family. After many fertility tests and 3 miscarriages We finally adopted our daughter. Two years later we finallized the process for our second adpotion, the following day we found out we were pregnant. It took 20 years of marriage but we now have the family we always wanted.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Katie ,St. Louis, MO — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:26:30 GMT

Thanks for covering this subject - I have had 2 miscarriages and luckily also 2 healthy beautiful girls. Thanks for validating the painful experience of miscarriage. Extended family and friends seemed like they wanted to act like it didn't happen or wasn't a real loss. I too have felt like I was being weak going through this pain-I feel better knowing others feel the same way.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Laura Schmidt, Chicago, IL — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:35:28 GMT

I am so thankful to the Today Show for talking about miscarriage. I just experienced a miscarriage seven weeks ago. I do not think that anyone can understand the grief that a miscarriage brings unless that person actually experiences one. Unfortunately that means that many people that are trying to help you through this difficult time say things that are completely heartbreaking. Meredith hit the nail on the head when she said that you should just say you're sorry and hold that person close. I wish more people would have done just that to me. Thank you Meredith for sharing your miscarriage experience with the rest of us.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kim, Leesburg, VA — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:50:30 GMT

I can’t begin to thank you enough for doing this story. I’m sure you will receive many responses from woman all around the country. I, myself suffered two pregnancy losses. My husband and I were so excited to start a family. To our complete and utter joy we became pregnant in the first month of trying. Only to find out 2 ½ weeks later it was an ectopic pregnancy. My husband describes our ordeal as, one minute we were elated to start a family then the next he is told to immediately take his wife to the hospital for emergency surgery. During surgery I lost one tube and kept both ovaries. We were told to wait a couple months before trying again. Which we did, and then to our surprise we were pregnant for the 2nd time. We tried to remain as positive as possible, unfortunately at 9 weeks I was scheduled for a D&C because the embryo stopped developing and began to shrink. I was told over and over things like, “these things happen” or “it was God’s will” or “everything happens for a reason”. And I always wanted to say, GOD’S WILL, a reason, ok what is the reason? As others I continue to grieve and think I always will. One thing that seems to help is the hope that my experiences will help my 3 younger sisters and maybe if we’re blessed enough they will NEVER have to go through such a tragedy. I also hope and pray your piece will help this topic come out of secrecy! Too many women suffer alone. We all need to openly talk about what I feel is an epidemic! So, as my husband and I hold out hope to have children I pray for all of us that have lost a baby and hope the spot light stays on this topic for a while longer! PS: Can you post the “10 blood tests” that Christine diPasqualle took to her doctor? With this information some of us might be able to take the list to our doctors to be tested!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Megan Seitz, Springfield, Illinois — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:52:03 GMT

Thank you for doing a story that is rarely talked about. I suffered a miscarriage just 2 months ago. I was 12 weeks along and everything seemed fine. My doctor then told me that the yolk sac was too small. That is what caused the miscarriage. I have never been in so much physical and emotional pain at one time. I still have not gotten over it and never will. My husband and I are trying again but, I will always wonder what that baby would have looked like, how it would have laughed, and what it would have become as an adult. There is no research I could find on miscarriages due to the underdevelopment of the yolk sac. Your story is important because our society burries these topics. It is difficult for us women that deal with this everyday. We need answers and we don't want to be hushed when it comes to these horrible experiences we have suffered. Thank you for making our voices heard!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Regina, Rochester, NY — Tue, 08 May 2007 20:59:39 GMT

Thank you for spotlighting this important topic - I suffered two miscarriages, a D&C and a partial molar pregnancy prior to the birth of my now 2 year old son. We even chose to not tell family about the 2nd miscarriage and D&C, and they were not told until almost a year later. The most heartfelt response I received was at calling hours for a friends son, Joe, who had tragically died at 21. His father gave me a big hug, and whispered to me "you have your own Joe" - and then sent me a beautiful sympathy card that I still have today, talking about dealing not only with the physical death of our baby, but the death of the dreams of that child's future. It is most definitely a death in the family.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beatriz, Houston, TX — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:07:59 GMT

I was so glad to see this episode. I'm grateful to the doctor, and especially Meredith, who recognize that a miscarriage is a death in the family. I suffered two miscarriages last year. My doctor wanted me to wait until I'd had a third to get any testing. He assumed that since I'd already had a baby, that everything was normal. I refused to wait until I lost another baby and went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist on my own for testing. Thank God I did because I was found to have a blood clotting disorder. I am now 16 weeks pregnant w/ my second son, and I'm taking daily blood thinning shots. I think one of the messages today is to be proactive in your healthcare, and if your doctor isn't willing to help you, find someone that will.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Michelle, Fredericksburg, Va. — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:11:39 GMT

I did not catch the story on the today show, but i wish i had. I am 37, and have two teenagers, i had my tubes tied eight years ago, then my husband and i decided that we would really like to have another one, so last Oct. i had my tubes reversed, it took about six months, i took the home test, took another one, just to make sure, then i went to a walk in place, took another one, then made an OB appt. then another one! There was no doubt i was pregnant, we were so excited! Then i started having pain, then a little spotting, we rushed to the ER, it was a night of hell, turns out there was a sack, but the egg was in my tube, it hadn't fully inplanted itself, so it was disolving on it's own, so i went home devastated, and after a few days it was all over, i felt so hurt, and i was kind if embarrased too, here i had told everyone that i was pregnant, and i could hardly bring myself to go and tell all those people i had lost the baby, so i just told the one's that i knew would tell everyone else,and even those people were like,that's too bad,with no feeling behind it, then not one person called me, not one call, card, visit, nothing, it's been over a month now, still nothing, one friend that never said one word after my loss, had the nerve to call and ask me to babysit! Another one told me of all the plans she had to host a baby shower. And these are people who definately know what happened, i mean, what is wrong with these people? These are the same people who were so happy for me when i told them i was pregnant. I know we can try again, but, it doesn't make me feel any better, and the reactions of the people around me doesn't make me feel any better either, now i feel like if i ever do become pregnant again, i don't want to share it with anyone.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kim G. New Fairfield, CT — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:11:46 GMT

It seemed like a sign...As I walked in my bedroom this morning & heard a topic on miscarriages or the difficulties of getting pregant. I immediatley dropped the laundry & stared at the TV. This is a topic that you do not hear much of & I thought it was wonderful. I am blessed with a 5-year old beautiful girl, but anxiously wanting to give her a brother or sister. My husband and I since having our first 5 years ago hadn't used any form of birth control. We had the attitude if it happens it happens. BUT NOTHING HAPPENED!!! For the past two years we paid close attention to when I was ovulating and pretty much hanging upside down from the ceiling. Last summer I finally went to a infertility specialist who ran a lot of tests, internal ultrasounds etc... I was put on some hormone medication because I am not producing any Progesterone & then bame I was pregnant. Excited! Excited! Excited! My husband pulls up to Dunkin Donuts drive thru & asks for a Decaf coffee because my wife is pregnant, make sure it is Decaf. My daughter whose eyes widened, Mommy you have a baby in your belly? I explained to her that yes I do, but we have to keep this a secret until the doctors said okay. It would be our little secret I told her. We all went as a family to the doctors & all saw the little heart beat. Never did I think this would end in a very painful, disappointing miscarriage. I never felt not myself like I did then. I didn't want to eat, be touched, have intercourse, nothing. My body didn't seem like it was mine anymore. I took several months off from trying, trying, trying. A few months ago I went back to the infertility specialist who started me back on some progesterone & that didn't work. I just finished my first IUI cycle unsuccessfully. That was very disappointing. I took the Clomid, then an injection & then my husband had to go do his thing & that was inserted in me. We did that two days in a row. Of course I couldn't wait to go for my pregnancy test so I took an at home test which to my surprise came out positive. Yesterday when I went in for my blood work & I thought to myself that this was going to be it, I was pregnant. My breast are tender, I haven't had any spotting, this is it. To my surprise the blood test should that I was NOT pregnant. As I looked at my husband & shook my head no I completley went dumb & didn't hear another word the nurse was telling me. Today I called them back to apologize & to explain how shocked I was to hear that I was NOT pregnant, especially since I had taken one at home. The nurse then informed me that the false positive that I got at home was probably due to the injection that I had had which has HCG hormone. I will try again, but I have to say this has been an emotional rollercoaster & extrememly exhausting.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Melissa, Olathe, KS — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:18:25 GMT

I had two miscarriages in 2006. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to shed light on this subject. People do not understand what my husband and I have been through. Some belittle our experience and already expect us to be over it all. I'm now pregnant, almost 11 wks, and anxiously awaiting the 2nd trimester. I find now that people expect me to be over my losses just b/c I'm pregnant again. Pregnancy hasn't changed my anxieties or my aversions to people who have easily conceived. It's still hard to see pregnant women or babies...and I am currently carrying one. I thank you for allowing women to know that they aren't alone. For the past year, my message board pals and I have been on a crusade to get the media to accurately portray this issue (and infertility). Those who haven't been through this need to understand what we are going through. Maybe your story will make that difference one person at a time. Thanks again! You have no idea how much this means to all of us. You are validating our life stories and helping to connect women and men when they feel most disconnected.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Layne Indianapolis IN — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:19:01 GMT

I expierenced a miscarriage after a successful IVF cycle in November, I was 16 weeks pregnant. How devastating this was after everything we had been through to have a baby and then have him die. My sister (who is my twin) has told me several times I just need to get over it. I think that people think that since it was inside me and never seen that it is like it didnt exsist. I have 3 children from a previous marriage and had my tubes tied my new husband has no kids so we are trying to have a baby together. Because of my age and the the miscarriage and a failed IVF cycle we are turning to donor eggs. I hope this is mentioned on your week long series of infertility. I watch the Today show every morning until it is time for me to leave for work and I am so glad like many others about this series. It is very stressful to go through this and is hard to find people to talk to and share with that actually understand. I dont think I will get over the lost of our baby.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sandy Wood, Fair Oaks, CA — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:27:07 GMT

Thank you for covering this subject. I was not able to watch it live but was grateful to see a video available to watch online. I suffered a miscarrage over this past weekend. It was my first pregnancy. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the last year now. We were so excited when we learned that we were pregnant. We were almost 6 weeks along when we lost the baby. It's been a very rough few days. Especially trying to understand why it happened when we have no answers. As I am 40 years old, my husband and I are going to try again as soon as possible. I too would like to learn of the 10 blood tests mentioned in your report.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kathy, West Paterson, NJ — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:36:07 GMT

Thank you for running a story on this topic. After I suffered a missed miscarriage earlier this year I found that there was a lot of stigma surrounding the topic. It made some people uncomfortable to be around me because they don't understand the emotional loss that is felt. Hopefully, as more information on the topic is spread the stigma associated with miscarriage will go away and those who suffer will get the support that is needed.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Renae,Utica, New York — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:42:58 GMT

My husband and I were so very excited this past October, we found out we were pregnant. At the end of week 9.... I felt something just wasn't right. I can't explain it even now, I just had a feeling that prompted me to call my doctor at 7am on a Saturday morning in December. This is how my miscarriage began. This was my first pregnancy and oh my goodness I have wondered what I did wrong. It has taken a lot of crying and a lot of thinking and an awful lot dwelling and talking to deal with this. Even after 5 months I feel a little jealous when I hear someone is pregnant, then a rush of guilt as I hope they do not have to go through what my husband and I went through. It is comforting to know that there are others that feel and have gone through what my husband and I have. This is something that will take a very long time to settle, as I find myself thinking all the time: would I have had a boy or girl, how would he or she look, what would the first words be, would he or she have curly hair like me when I was small? Too many unanswered questions that I know will never be resolved but questions still the same. I can not express how much I appreciate the segment from this morning. Thank you for opening the discussion and presenting it in a very informative and caring way. My husband and I plan to continue with building our family and we believe we will eventually know the joy of sleepless nights and endless worry.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Theresa Kiester, Kuna, Idaho — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:45:48 GMT

I had a healty baby boy in 1975 and then pregnant again in 1979 and gave birth to a beautiful 4lb 11oz daughter named Lisa. She came 5 weeks early and had breathing problems still do not know what happened but she passed away 5 hrs later. Totally devasted I wanted to get pregnant right away even tho the doctors told me to wait three months. One year later I had another daughter perfectly healthy. And then 5 years later I was pregnant again but this time I started to have bleeding and more complications so I had bed rest for the last three months and fortunately for us our daughter survived. But noone ever offered to do any kind of test to see what was really going on, I realize that it was a long time ago but now my daughter had a child and she got pre-eclampsia and they had to deliver the baby very early and only weighed 3lbs. They also told her if she were to get pregnant again she will more than likely get pre-eclampsia again. So I am wondering if there might be some kind of connection. Because I have an older daughter who has yet to have children

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Michelle, Albuquerque, NM — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:52:18 GMT

I would like to commend the Today show for creating and airing a week-long segment devoted to the struggles of fertility. My husband and I have dealt with the pain of infertility for 6 years. I have had several laparoscopies and a myomectomy to correct polycystic ovaries, endometriosis, and fibroids. I think it would be beneficial if you also discussed these problems associated with infertility. Even though I reside in NM, I am currently being treated by a wonderful doctor (Dr. Hilgers in Omaha, NE) who is working very hard to understand and help women achieve pregnancy and sustain it. I am currently on several hormones and other medications and continue to remain hopeful, but each Mother's Day serves as a constant reminder of what I am not and am struggling so hard to become. I know people mean well when they say to just adopt or attempt IVF, but the truth of the matter is it's not that simple. There are so many things to consider regarding both of these options. Thank you Today for helping families with fertility heartaches have a voice. In this way we know that we are not suffering alone and that we can help one another.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Susan, Seattle, Washington — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:54:37 GMT

Thank you for all of the comments. I suffered a miscarriage 1 year ago today. My heart still hurts from the loss, but reading everyone's comments have helped me with my resolve to keep trying.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Fatima Traore, Tri-Cities, Pasco, Washington — Tue, 08 May 2007 21:59:28 GMT

I read many comments about miscarriages and have sympathy for everybody. I also suffered from a miscarriage (I was 8 weeks pregnant) several years ago. I thought that was the worst experience of my life, but what happened to me in June 2006, became the worst experience of my life. I was almost 20 weeks pregnant, when the doctor found out the baby had spinabifida. The worst thing that I suffered from hyperemesis during the entire 20weeks. A lot of people don't know about hyperemesis, so you ever want to do the show about hyperemesis, I will be willing to talk about it. My doctor believe I am the worst case of hyperemesis he has ever seen. They are many symptoms, all bad, but the worse are vomiting 10 to 20times a day, weight lost, malnutrition, severe deshydration ect...I was miserable, in and out of the emergency room, finally got a tube put in my arm to get home care, and at some point wanted to die, but everytime, I would listen to the baby's heartbeat, and the doctor told me she was fine, I would feel better. I thought I was going to finally be a mom. I got the worst new at the end of May and the doctor out of the blue. I was not expecting that at all. I had to make the most difficult decision of my life to have the doctor take the baby out. Her chance of survival was very little and I was still suffering from hyperemesis. All my suffering, pain, hope were for nothing, so I just wanted to kill myself if it was not for the support of my family and friends. It's going to be a year this coming June and I am stil very sad. Nothing helps. My doctor believes I can try again, because I usually get pregnant fast, but I can't afford to quit working, try IVF, stay in bed, try other alternative, etc... I envy all the women that are mothers and wish and I could have a child soon( I am 41 years old). I am running out of time! I envy all the women with enough money to make their dream of motherwood come true! Thank you all for the good job.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Amanda MacConnell, Columbus, Ohio — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:00:58 GMT

Thank you for talking about miscarriage on your show! I have had 2 miscarriages in the past year which have been devastating to me and my husband. We were fortunate to have a doctor who didn't want to wait for another miscarriage before testing. We had a few tests run, however no cause has been found yet. We are currently trying again and praying that we finally get the baby we have dreamed of. Thank you again for shedding light on such a sad topic.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Janet Pace - Pearland, TX — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:05:09 GMT

After nearly two years of infertility and dealing with the pain of rhuematoid arthritis (I couldn't be on meds), I finally got pregnant during our first round of IVF. We were so happy. Finally it worked! Then I miscarried at 9 weeks. I know that people mean well, but hearing "that baby wasn't your baby and that God has a plan" was just too much. I agree with the others that want to know why we as women don't talk about it. I work in an environment where we are all very close, so everyone knew that I had miscarried. While talking to my coworkers I found that 9 other women had had a miscarriage at some point. I was lucky that my reproductive endocrinologist did a work up after the karyotype of my baby came back normal. I was diagnosed with a blood clotting problem. Now, if I can just get pregant again. We have since done a frozen transfer that did not work. We have only 2 frozen embryos left. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make these 2 babies "stick"?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Diana Milelr, Illinois — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:05:50 GMT

The hardest thing for me...people have assumed that because I have been blessed with 5 healthy happy children, that the 3 (a set of twins and my 2 year olds twin) I have lost should not mean anything. I have been treated like they should not matter because I have been able to have other children. I think about whether the twins would have been identical and can imagine the rambunctious six year olds they would be. And of my two year olds twin would have been anything like her...I would never have a moment of piece. Please know that just because you have children, it never replaces the ones you have lost. Also, for me it took a long time to get over the anger. I did all the things that I was supposed to and I lost my baby. I was SO angry at all those pregnant woman that smoke, drike, and did not seek proper medical care. Sometimes all these years later I find that I sometimes still get pissed. Why me? Why them?

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Julie, Paramus, NJ — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:13:33 GMT

My condolences to all of these women who have lost their babies. My heart goes out to you all. I too lost a pregnancy this past January although not to miscarriage but due to a diagnosis of Anencephaly which is a neural tube defect the most severest form in spina bifida family of defects. It is always a fatal birth defect and one in which you must terminate the pregancy. At 14 weeks I had to terminate a pregnancy that I wanted so much. My life has taken me on the path that I am having my children late in life at age 41 this was a devastating diagnosis and we are now in the process of trying and trying and nothing is happening. I just wanted to send my thoughts and prayers to all these woman and let them know there are alot of us out here who understand your pain and grief. I wish you all well.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

L. Harris, Gilford, N.H. — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:16:56 GMT

I too enjoyed your story today. I have suffered five miscarriages. I had every test possible at the time, only to find that there was nothing that could be diagnosed to explain my miscarriages. At the time it was devastating, now I believe it to be a blessing! One of my miscarriages was when I was pregnant with twins and lost one of the two. I went on to give birth to my first daughter who is now 10. I then went on to have two other daughters now 9 and 6. Miscarriages are more than devastating. For those of us who want to have children we assume that it is naturally what a woman does! When we see other women suffering with infertility we assume it will never happen to us! So when it does it leaves us with many emotions, but I believe that it is the couples who have experienced infertility can only truly understand what they are! What I've always been curious about and I wonder if it is a question that can be asked. Many women I know who have had multiple miscarriages often give birth to girls. In fact, one of the women who wrote in had 7 and 1 ectopic and went on to have three girls. Is there any truth or scientific studies given to the belief that women can reject the male chromosome? As a mother of three girls, who got pregnant easily, was not able to find anything "wrong" with me, or explain why I continued to miscarry, and to give birth to one twin who was a girl and have lost the other (when we had gotten a good, strong heartbeat at 9 weeks) I have always pondered that thought! I would love to know if there is any information on that? For anyone who is still suffering from infertility, keep believing for as long as you possibly can because it is worth every painful minute of every painful day you have had when are able to give birth to a child!!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Katie, Northern California — Tue, 08 May 2007 22:37:59 GMT

I cannot thank the Today Show enough for doing this series on infertility. My husband and I have been dealing with infertility for the past year and a half and have been on the roller coaster of treatments for too long. I think it's fantastic you are bringing attention to infertility, and so far the series has been incredibly well done - the best I have seen. My only suggestion of a topic would be addressing the lack of insurance coverage for infertility. While some states have adopted mandates for coverage, most have not and many of us have absolutely no coverage for treatments or even diagnosis as many insurance plans specifically exclude infertility from coverage. The financial burden is so great in addition to the emotional burden we all shoulder. My hat is definitely off to you and Meredith Viera for sharing your personal struggles as well. Thank you!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Pamela Radmacher, Burien, Washington — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:35:57 GMT

I just wanted to Thank you for this show today. I watched it and it brought so many tears to my eyes. I have had multiple miscarriages as well, and I often feel like an outcast or that people just don't think the loss of a baby is something worth mourning. The doctor and Meredith nailed it by saying that a miscarriage IS a LOSS of a Family member. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this story.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Marcia Gutnick, Virginia Beach, VA, 23451 — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:40:50 GMT

I was four months pregnant. I had just begun to feel the flutter of the baby and wear maternity clothes. As a first grade teacher, I explained to my students that I was getting bigger because a baby was growing inside of me. That Friday, I had a miscarriage. The baby was a perfectly formed four month old fetus and they could find no reason for my miscarriage. Being a strong person, I had the miscarriage on Friday and returned to work on Monday. I explained to my students that the baby had died. I was able to hold myself together in the classroom but I spent my breaks and time at home crying for weeks. I hadn't realize the importance of allowing myself to go through the necessary mourning period. I hope that women who have miscarriages will see this as perfectly normal and allow themselves to go through the stages of grief.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kris, North Haven, Connecticut — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:42:06 GMT

Thank you. It is reassuring to know that, in addition to the valuable information, one is not alone in dealing with miscarriage and infertility. My husband and I experienced a loss at seven weeks almost two years ago and have not been able to conceive since. It appears that the culprit was a septum that was surgically removed soon after the miscarriage. An HSG later showed that everything looked clear, but nothing. Now on the fifth cycle of clomid and still nothing. We try to get answers, but there is nothing other than a progesterone check at day 21 that really doesn't tell us anything. As the woman today had to do, we are going to have to push for answers ourselves and get the appropriate testing and treatment. Thank you, and if you could, please list the ten additional tests that were mentioned in today's piece.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jennifer, Bayonne New Jersey — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:42:41 GMT

Thank you so much for featuring this series and sharing your stories. My husband and I are the proud parents of a wonderful 2 year old son. We are about to undergo fertility treatments after trying for a full year to conceive only to lose a pregnancy to miscarriage this past January. I was watching the story this morning and all of the emotions just came rushing back. I don't think that we ever really get over the loss of a child, the pain lives on in our hearts forever, it just gets dulled by the passing days.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Yvette, Los Angeles, CA — Wed, 09 May 2007 00:49:29 GMT

I'm so happy the Today show brought this important topic to the public. I've been trying to conceive for over 3 years, multiple IUI's, 3 IVF's and 2 early miscarriages. What has been so maddening to me throughout this ordeal, is the ignorance so many people have about infertility. The comments like "at least you know you can get pregnant" after my 1st loss was one of many I've heard like that over the years. Also, because I'm young (32) people assume I can get pregnant easily and offer advice like "just relax, you're stressing too much." Infertiliy is a medical condition and a lot of us can't get pregnant without invasive treatments, which is very emotionally, physically and financially hard. I hope your series this week can help the public begin to understand and empathize that infertility is a serious medical condition that we have no control over. I mean, no one would dare tell a paraplegic "just relax, you'll walk again soon". Thank you for the great work you do and for lending us a voice!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sara Riddle South Mills, NC — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:01:06 GMT

In October I delivered my first child. I was 27 weeks along but my son had grown to only 25 weeks. I have PCOS so I had to do infertility to get pregnant. On a rotuine visit to the doctor he discovered that my son was not growing. I had to deliver my son a week later because of a blood clot in the placenta. Aidan lived for four wonderful days. I got to hold him until his heart stopped an hour later. As I sit here and read off the blogs I am amazed at how many times the word miscarrage is used. I delivered my son I buried my son and I loved my son. I had a son. I have not had a miscarrage and when someone references my situation with a miscarrage I am truly offened. If someone asks me if I have any children I say yes I have a son who is deceased.I delievered a live child. I am scared to try again (Ihave to wait a year) but I will and hopefully I will become a parent.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Daniela Lembo, Guyton GA — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:09:07 GMT

I find it almost ironic that this show aired on television 3 weeks after I had my first miscarriage. I was almost 6 weeks when I started to spot and went to the ER. I had an ultrasound which showed nothing as well as a hormone test which showed my hormone was abnormally low so I guess the baby just stopped developing. When I followed up at the doctor's three days later they put me in a the labor and delivery area of the hospital so I had to sit there with all of the pregnant moms and the new father's who were on the phone telling everyone the happy news. I have a daughter who is almost 16 and I had her very young and this is the first time I have felt ready to have another child only to have this happen. I stopped bleeding and yet I still have lower abdominal pain that is constant that wasn't there before this happened. This worries me as well. My husband just left for his second deployment to Iraq and so we now have to wait another 15 months to try again unless we can time his 2 week leave just right while I ovulate. So the clock just ticks since I turned 34 a couple of days ago. I never thought this would happen to me or that it would make me feel so....I don't even have a word to describe it. Thank you to all of the ladies who have shared their stories.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Julia Grant — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:29:24 GMT

So much hope, so much pain. I am the proud mother of two beautiful women, and the proud grandmother of two beautiful grandsons. My husband and I miscarried before our first daughter. The word miscarry denotes some kind of error or mistake on the part of the mother. But when the Doctor admitted me to the hospital to D/C, he wrote incomplete spontaneous abortion. The admitting clerk didn't know what Spontaneous meant and was very abusive. I was unable to counter her attack. I was told ' better this than a burial'. I was able to understand other womens pain and help them talk and grieve, because of my experiences. So remember, you are not the cause, for whatever reason, it happened. We must support one another. Thank you for bringing this to a National forum. It is a death in the family.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christine, Missouri — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:32:05 GMT

FINALLY, a segment on miscarriage. I have suffered from three miscarriages and have yet to have a child. Miscarriage is often a lonely sorrow - after your family and friends and sometimes even your husband have moved on, you are left to grieve the loss and events such as missed due dates and anniversaries mean nothing to anyone but you. Meredith Viera, thank you for making a point to cover this story. It is healing to read the posts of others, too.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Grace, Round Rock,Texas — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:37:17 GMT

Thank you for your heartfelt story. I have had two miscarriages and thought that I was being silly for thinking it felt so awful. It is truly a sorrowful loss and it is a death in the family. I have just found out I am pregnant again and pray that maybe this time my baby will make it.With your story I will ask more questions and ask for more tests .Thank you for letting me know I am not alone in this and to read the blogs of those who heard this story gives me hope.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

TL, Kansas City — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:39:15 GMT

Thank you for spreading some awareness to the world about the pain of miscarriage. The show actually caused family members to come to me with the understanding I've longed for. I just had my first miscarriage 5 months ago. The book selection for miscarriage is very slim, but I did find one book taht really helped me in the healing process. The book is Silent Grief by Clara Hinton.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Carrie, South Bend, Indiana — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:45:30 GMT

I really appreciate the series that the today show is running on infertility. I have suffered from multiple miscarriages and it is the hardest thing to deal with and understand. It has taken such an emotional toll on me and my husband. It's been particularly hard for me because my husbands family is full of children. Sometimes it's hard for me to be around all the women in the family because I find myself thinking, "Why not me?" I've had every test in the book run on me, testing done on my husband and all the results show that everything is "normal." How can you tell me everything is normal when all of my pregnancies have ended? The hardest thing though is when dates come and go and you know there is someone missing. My due date for my first pregnancy recently passed and it hurt to know that there was someone missing that should have been there but isn't and no one can tell me why. Miscarriage is a subject that needs to be addressed more often but isn't for whatever reason. Maybe it's fear that keeps people from talking about it afraid it could happen to them. Whatever the reason it needs to be addressed more, so thank you today show for bringing up the subject that is so common but so rarely talked about.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sharon Stenger, Wilton, CT — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:49:57 GMT

My friend and I have both suffered the devastation of a miscarriage; the loss of dreams. While it is very common, it is not commonly discussed. We would like to help change that. We have started a website www.ourhopeplace.com that provides friends with the confidence and tools to help their friends through miscarriage. On the site you can find what to do/say, what not to do/say, try our perspective test, see journal entries from women who have suffered miscarriages, testimonials, and the ability to create a cope and hope care package. By creating Our Hope Place, we hope to give back and make it better for those who come after us.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Ava, Chicago, Illinois — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:51:24 GMT

Hello, I was elated when my son's doctor informed me of today's discussion topic. I recently suffered the loss of my son, Jon-Pierre. I was 37 weeks full term, on march 27th I didn't feel my son moving as much, very concerned I contacted my doctor who was out of the country. I was informed to go to the hospital, never expecting the devastating news which was completed by ultra sound of no fetal movement/heart rate. After giving still birth hours later, the doctor who helped deliver my baby informed me and my husband that my placenta had ruptured. My son looked perfectly healthy, he weighed 6 pounds and 14 ounces, very beautiful. A week after my delivery we had a short funeral and burial service. Myself, husband and our two boys were eagerly awaiting our new addition. One week prior I had celebrated my baby showers, one at work and the other with family and close friends. It's now six weeks later and yet I still can't believe this, how we have all this great technology and can't prevent such a horrible thing from happening. I would like to try again, however my husband is very reluctant of experiencing this traumatic loss again. My first pregnancy was ended with a miscarriage within the first trimester, however this still birth is like a different experience. I understand that this is a topic that needs to be discussed more publicly. Thank you for this discussion.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

M. Brown, Merrill, Iowa — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:53:42 GMT

My medical condition? Wow. We've (my husband and I) had the unfortunate circumstances of having 3 miscarriages in a little under 2 years. All of them at different growing stages within my 1st trimester. After the first, I thought it was just a freak accident after getting off the Pill and immediately becoming pregnant(I heard that somewhere). The second, I had 3 ultrasounds---heard a heartbeat in the 1st 2, but on the 3rd...nothing. My Ob/Gyn did extensive blood work and an x-ray of my fallopian tubes(Hysterosalpingogram), yet, nothing seemed to be wrong. After the 3rd miscarriage this past October, he had ordered blood work from my husband, Joel, and I to see if it was a chromosomal abnormality. After 2 weeks, the Doctor, himself, called me at work to break the news that they had found my chromosomes 13 and 14 to be somewhat jumbled...All the information was there, just mixed up---It has a name and is VERY common amoungst men and women- yet no one really knows about it: Robertsonian Translocation. With this genetic mixup the pregnancies will end up either genetically normal(or a normal carrier) OR losing the fetus during the 1st trimester due to chromosomal abnormalities. We had to see a genetisist, etc. And we will be able to have children(hopefully soon) we just have about a 30 % chance of miscarriage everytime I get pregnant. Basically, I just want to know, can you help me to make this condition more known nation wide. Many people don't receive this blood work bc of the cost, fortunately we pay for good insurance and with the conditions in which I was under, we were covered. Many women don't know why they have miscarriages...whether it be before or after other children...Maybe they would be interested in knowing some possiblities~? Also, just from another's perspective...How do I deal with all of the pregnancies around me. I can't even begin to explain to them how I feel. I have had so many of my girlfriends become pregnant in 2 years and right now it's so discouraging going month to month. Any suggestions? How can I make them understand without it coming across that I'm dwelling on my heartache? Thank You SO MUCH for making this[miscarriage] a nationwide discussion. I just wish more people heard about how difficult it is for those of us in emotional turmoil. I think that a another area to reach out with this, going a step further would be representing all types of Translocations(all chromosomes abnormality). I think it would be VERY helpful. About 1 in 1000 man/women have chromosomal abnormality and don't know they do, we need to make this knowledge known. I will definately share my story. Let me know~

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Donna, N.Y. — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:57:28 GMT

I'd like to start by thanking you for airing this segment and I hope to share it friends and family who don't understand why I'm still depressed or devasted. I am a patient of Dr. Grifo's and very proud to have him as my doctor. I recently suffered a miscarriage after undergoing IVF and Dr. Grifo has ordered all those tests he mentioned so my husband and I don't go through this heartbreaking ordeal ever again. He among others have given us hope that the future is bright and we will become parents one day.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Amy, CA — Wed, 09 May 2007 01:58:27 GMT

Thank you for addressing this topic. Women are told that miscarriages are so common, however they are rarely talked about in depth in the media or even in pregnancy books. I requested from my OBGYN a list of multiple tests that I wanted performed. I am blessed with an Uncle who is a Perinatologist to guide me. Subsequently, it was discovered that I have the same condition as Christine APS. I have suffered 3 miscarriages. I am a healthy woman and multiple miscarriages plays a toll on your emotional and physical health. You are drained and so is your spouse. The best support I have recieved is from my friends who have experienced this loss and can validate the intense sorrow that your heart feels. Thank you Meredith and to the producer, Tammy Fine. You covered the topic well. The one point to touch upon is the risk of depression after a miscarriage. I have heard that it is four times greater than post-partum depression.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jessica Spears, Groton, CT — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:04:32 GMT

Thank you for bringing this topic out in the open! I have suffered three miscarriages now; the first was at 5-1/2 weeks, the second was at 15 weeks and 4 days, and the third, which I experienced less than two weeks ago, was at 5 weeks. My husband and I have been trying for almost two years now to have a baby, and every miscarriage is devestating. It also makes the following pregnancy more terrifying than the last. Like Christine, after my second miscariage, I was also diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder (a Prothrombin gene mutation), and was told the treatment was a daily injection of a blood thinner. I was so relieved to find out that my condition was treatable. However, when I finally became pregnant again, I miscarried before I had my first appointment. Could my disorder be resposible for such an early miscarriage? How soon after finding out that I'm pregnant should I start the injections? Thank you again for getting this story out. I had started to lose hope of ever being able to start a family, and that thought was crushing me. It was such a blessing to hear Christine's story, so like my own, and to see that she brought two beautiful children into this world. Thank you for giving me hope!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Nicole, Chicago IL — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:09:36 GMT

I really loved your story. We had struggled for three years to have a baby, after fertility treatments we were blessed with a baby boy on 1-9-06. We are planning on trying it all again in a year for number two, of course none of it is covered by insurance so it's a big chunk on change. I only wish there were more stories about what it is people go through during treatment. I know I felt lost and unsure if what I was going through was normal for most people in my situation. I loved this story and would like to see stories on a person going through treatment...

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Audrey R. Poughkeepsie, NY — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:10:44 GMT

Many thanks to the Today show for this piece on miscarriage. I just suffered a m/c, followed immediately by a "chemical pregnancy" the very next cycle. I got to the OB tomorrow and I have asked my husband to come with me to help make sure that the doctor takes a proactive stance with me on finding out what's going on. I have a happy and healthy 2 yr old from an uneventful and healthy pregnancy. I was shocked when I had difficulty conceiving baby #2. After several months of charting, I got pg, only to miscarry. The worst part was people minimizing my pain because I was "only" 6 weeks along. It somehow seemed to make other people feel better that I wasn't "too" pregnant. This made me feel like it wasn't ok to be so sad and to grieve, like I didn't have permission to be that upset. And sure, I hear many people comment on how I have plenty of time, that they know lots of people who got pg in their late 30's and early 40's ( I'm 38). I wish people knew that this offers me know comfort, only frustration. At any rate, it just feels so timely that you aired this segment right as I was going through my second failed pregnancy. I hope my OB takes a serious approach with me tomorrow, and that as a result I am able to go on to have another healthy and successful pg.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jill, Los Angeles, CA — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:12:01 GMT

Thank you for doing this story on miscarriage and especially to Meredith and Tammy for sharing their personal stories. After suffering from 2 consecutive miscarriages I had never felt so alone. My friends all had small children and didn't understand what I was going through, and honestly, being around them and their babies was too painful anyway. Although there have been many books, movies, TV shows that discuss the pain of infertility, it seems very rare to find anything on miscarriage. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to see someone talk candidly and eloquently about this issue.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Sophia, Chicago, IL — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:22:18 GMT

Thank you very much Today show for your series on infertility!! We ladies suffering from infertility are so happy that you are educating the public on this terrible hardship. I wanted to also suggest the topic of addressing lack of infertility insurance for many of us. This is an added stress to a most difficult struggle. Many of us struggle with the choice of continuing treatments or stopping treatments to have enough funds for adoption. Thank you!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

jmd,wisconsin — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:41:44 GMT

heart breaking stories,I had 2 miscarriages after 1 child.I than went on to have 2 other children..I know the painful feelings,it is something that doesn't get mentioned too often,this forum helps to hear from with others who have been through it....

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

M Turner, Huntington, WV — Wed, 09 May 2007 02:51:47 GMT

While a fan of the show, I was, oddly enough, at my 7wk5day u/s this morning when your show aired. I found out about the segment while at my NEW ob office discussing my recently discovered clotting issue this afternoon and was sure to watch the video when I returned home. I, too, have taken matters into my own hands for the second time in my life, doing research and changing drs. I could have written the same as a previous poster, I am the proud mother of 5 healthy children, yet have sufferred 13 miscarriages. I was also told that what would happen, would happen, and no action would be taken until I sufferred at least 3 miscarriages - however after 5, I had to seek additional help. Though no complete blood work was drawn, through the use of clomid, I did get pregnant, and had two subsequent babies w/out medication assisting me and w/out incident - then suffered even more miscarriages, the last being most devastating. So, yes, I do have wonderful healthy children that I am most fortunate to enjoy daily, but that does not compensate for the ones that were lost. I'll be on blood thinners for the rest of this pregnancy.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Brenda, Hutchinson, KS — Wed, 09 May 2007 03:12:33 GMT

I had a miscarriage a few weeks ago. It was devastating and I am still trying to deal with the loss. What is the worse though is some people do not think you need to grieve over the loss. They just want you to get on with life. I appreciated the doctor validating that it is truly a loss and parents need to grieve. Thank you for doing this special piece.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Diana — Wed, 09 May 2007 04:16:20 GMT

I miscarried twice, once in late 2005 and then in early 2006, right after New Year's. The first time I was only about 3 weeks along, my number was 45. I got pregnant one month later and carried until 9 weeks when I started spotting and my ultrasound showed that the embryo had stopped developing at 6 weeks. My husband cried before I did. I was in shock I guess. I didn't want to believe it was real. My heart was basically dashed to the ground and shattered and I didn't want to have a family anymore. The day before the ultrasound (my parents didn't know there was a problem yet) my father had called very excited and asked if I knew what the sex of the baby was. I had to lie and make him believe that everything was ok. That was the worst thing I ever had to say to him and I cried so hard after that phone call because despite the hope I still had that the baby was ok, deep inside I knew it was all going wrong and there was nothing I could do. We were told to wait at least 3 months before trying again but we waited much more than that. In the meantime we were genetically tested (we are both adopted)and we were found to "have nothing wrong with either one of us". The doctor assured me that it wasn't anything I did and that this is common and happens more than we think. I found out later that several of my friends have had miscarriages and all have healthy children now. At least I didn't feel so alone anymore. We started unofficially trying in August but nothing yet. We are really trying not to get stressed about it but it's hard. We will be seeing a fertility doc the end of this month just to get an opinion and see if there are other tests that we might take, just in case something was missed.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Marie, Stamford, CT — Wed, 09 May 2007 04:22:29 GMT

I agree with the suggestion that you address insurance coverage issues. I only learned recently that Connecticut health insurance policies cut off coverage for IVF when a woman reaches 40. In New York, the cut off age is 44. As a woman over 40 (with a NY policy) this impacts my decision on how quickly to move on various treatment options, and I think it is crucial for woman to have this information. Also, I was told that insurers might deny IVF coverage when it is being performed for a history of miscarriage (my issue) because this is not a problem with fertility, in the sense of conception. Another suggestion I have is to provide more information on miscarriages. It is very difficult to get information on how to address the problem. For example, do you stay with your OB/GYN or do you move on to a reproductive endocrinologist? My first OB did not want to perform any tests after miscarriage number 2, even at my age. He discouraged me from seeking fertility treatments. It never occurred to me that this was a "fertility" problem that required a fertility specialist. I was getting pregnant, after all. I was very proactive, however, did research, and sought other treatment based on word of mouth, even friends of friends who were doctors. Had I stayed with the original doctor, I would not have had all the tests, one of which showed a slightly diminished progesterone level. Also, one potential treatment for miscarriage is IVF with preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD). I never thought that miscarriage would lead me to consider IVF, but that is one option that has been suggested to me, particularly because of my age. I think the show should also inform viewers that there are some hospitals and universities that have recurrent pregnancy loss centers. Women with a history of miscarriage should seek out these centers.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beth — Wed, 09 May 2007 04:37:55 GMT

Thanks, Meredeth, for doing such a great job on such a difficult subject. I suffered a miscarriage nearly 4 months ago and still cry every day. Friends and family tend to avoid me and the isolation only makes it worse. I think saying nothing to someone who has been through a miscarriage is just as bad as saying something like "it was for the best". This has been the most devastating experience of our lives, and my heart goes out to all women who have experienced the loss of a child. Thanks, Meredeth, for correcting the doctor and saying that "it is the loss of a family member". I was 12 weeks along and now often cry torrents of tears in my empty nursery. My husband and I feel so isolated. No one understands the pain unless you've been there. Thanks so much for including this segment.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Elaine P Holder — Wed, 09 May 2007 04:38:05 GMT

i am so thankful that you have done this story on infertility. my daughter tried for over a year to get pregnant and couldn't due to several situations. she tried insemination and it failed. she was told her only hope would be ivf. she went through all the testing and the shots and finally developed good eggs. they transferred two "...when she went for her first ultrasound she was shocked to find that not only had both eggs taken but one of the eggs split and they saw baby A, baby B and baby C in the ultrasound. needless to say. my daughter and her husband were shocked. she gave birth to triplets 17 months ago.. two identical girls and one boy.. we are certainly blessed and i can't even tell you how much joy these three babies have brought into our lives. this was indeed a miracle..from two eggs..three miracles developed. we are forever grateful to the doctors and nurses who work in these clinics.. may god bless them

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Carrie Gregory, Frederick, MD — Wed, 09 May 2007 04:38:26 GMT

I want to applaud the Today show for talking about miscarriages. I wasn't able to catch the show on TV while it aired this morning however my mother was fortunate to have seen it and called me to let me know about it. I then was able to watch the segment online. My husband and I had our first miscarriage about 5 years ago then our second 8 months ago and our third 2 months ago. Its actually a suprise that we knew our first one was even a miscarriage. I took a pregnancy test very early on and the miscarraige happened right around when I wouldn't gotten my period. The second one was a complete shock. Everything seemed to be going well. We went to our first prenatal appointment and the last part was the sonogram. It was then that we were asked if our dates were correct and told that there was no heartbeat. At 8 weeks they shouldn't seen it. I then had to wait a couple of days and go back for repeated sonograms just for them to confirm that infact the baby was gone. The worst part was knowing that you had a baby growing inside you at one point then in the next second its gone. The last time I found out I was pregnant I was very concerned, I felt like something wasn't right from the beginning. I had some spotting and pain in my right side. I was then diagonsed with an ectopic. It was very nerve racking because on all the ultrasounds they couldn't give me a definiative answer of whether or not for certain it was ectopic. Finally I was given the metrotrexate shot because my levels started decreasing. Now for the last 2 months I have had to go into the Doctors office every week to get my levels checked to make sure they go back down to 0. Its so incrediably hard to walk in there each week and try not to cry when you see all of the other pregnant women in there just wishing it was you. I applaud Today for finally talking about this subject and can only ask for them to talk about it more. There is still so much unknown about miscarriages.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jessica, Greenville, MI — Wed, 09 May 2007 04:45:48 GMT

Thank you for presenting the story, but it would be great if someone would actually address Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (AKA Hughes Syndrome) rather than simply saying "a blood clotting disorder). This disease is like "Lupus Deluxe" but being allergic to the outter layer of our cells causes blood to clot. This is EXTREMELY aggravated by stress, cortisol, and estrogen and a majority of those diagnosed find out ONLY after multiple miscarriages, DVTs, or strokes. A simple use of blood thinner like aspirin, coumadin, or heparin could save hundreds of thousands of lives annually and save thousands of family members from having to suffer the loss of a miscarriage or other loved one. PLEASE consider presentation and discussion of APLS on your show, you have the power to save lives! (I am "learning to live with APLS" as I hate the term "suffer from" ) and at 38 years of age I have had three strokes, more than 30 blood clots, all symptoms of Lupus, rheumatism, fibromyalgia, and chronic pain. I am permanently disabled even though I still have $25K in student loans to pay. The heartbreak for me is knowing that I have passed this hereditary disease to my son who has many physical complications at the age of 15 due to this disease. Contacting Lupus.Org, the Hughes Foundation, or the Center for Disease Control could be very useful in helping people plan for healthy pregnancies and avoid miscarriages by being diagnosed early on. Females often start showing symptoms when puberty strikes and they create estrogen. Taking birth control kills many people who do not have the slightest idea that they have this disease, I almost died at the age of 18. I have had two miscarriages and one full-term but very difficult pregnancy. If the medical community were more aware of this NOT-SO-RARE disease (believe me in telling you that the US medical system is ignorant to this disease and its symptoms)and could begin to diagnose by teen onset symptomology (migraines, hives and skin irritations due to stress, pain with PMS or PMDD) thousands could be enjoying life to the fullest and starting a family armed with knowledge that precautions must be taken.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Melissa, San Diego, CA — Wed, 09 May 2007 05:05:38 GMT

My heart raced watching your show today, as I, too, am in the trenches of hopelessness and despair of the suffering caused by recurrent pregnancy loss. Since November 2005, I have experienced four miscarriages. My first was a blighted ovum discovered at 9 1/2 weeks, my second had a heartbeat at 8 weeks, with a blood clot also in my uterus, only to discover no heartbeat at 10 1/2 weeks. My last two miscarriages were bio-chemical miscarriages within the 4-5 week timeframe. I am a 31 year old woman who started trying at 29 years of age, got pregnantr each time the first month we tried, only to suffer the devastation of losing our little ones. We have had every blood test known to man to try and detect what the underlying problem could be, but all tests have come back normal. We are now in the process of starting IVF with preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), as the doctors want to see if a chromosome abnormality is happening, called aneuploidy. It's an expensive way to run a test that we know may not even work, but we are desperate to find some answers, and I refuse to give up, although my heart is slowly dying day in and day out. I feel so lonely, isolated and scared. But I am holding out hope for a little miracle, and want to thank each and every one of you out there for sharing your stories. It makes me realize that I am not alone. I wish so much I could hus each and every one of you and offer you the type of support and encouragement I am in desperate search of. Each of you who continues to struggle with miscarriage are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you again, everyone.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kristi, Sutton, Alaska — Wed, 09 May 2007 08:01:19 GMT

I wanted to say Happy Mother's Day to all of you beautiful mothers of babies that will never be here to wish you Happy Mother's Day themselves. I lost our second child, whom we named Promise, after only 8 wks of pregnancy. I miscarried on Mother's Day weekend, May 10, 1997. That day will forever remain in my memory, because our baby died. Even though we now have 5 healthy children, this little one is still missed, grieved for, and remembered as part of our family. May God bless those of you who are still trying to have children despite the tremendous emotional, physical, and financial expense.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Nora Kelling, Queens, NY — Wed, 09 May 2007 09:09:57 GMT

Thank you so much for running this series about the difficuties of women struggling with IF. Often those of us who are having fertility problems feel so alone since most women seem to successfully build their families without problems. IF is impossible to hide or maintain your privacy. Just as we see our neighbors and friends with their children we are exposed to all the world as the families that are still waiting. It was especially gratifying to hear Dr. Griffo mention Asherman's Syndrome since it is often overlooked, misdiagnosed and /or only considered when all other possibilities have been cleared. It is very important for you viewers to know that any woman who has any kind of uterine sugrery such as a D&C, a C-Section is at risk for Asherman's and damage to the endometrium. I personally had a Dr. who specializes in giving and reading ultrasounds tell me that since I knew I did not have a septum what we were seeing on the Ultrasound was an anomoly and nothing to be concerned about. In truth I had undiagnosed Asherman's. The good news for women is that Asherman's is relatively easily diagnosable via dthe differnet imaging techniques (HSG, SHG, hysteroscopy, 3-D ultrasound, etc) and most of the time the damage can be undone if the sufferer is treated my a very capable surgeon who is very experienced with Asherman's. This is one of those situations where it pays to see the best Dr you can since a failed sugrey not only doesn't cure Asherman's it worsens it as well. For information, support and refferrals please turn to: www.ashermans.org

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

kym reusch — Wed, 09 May 2007 10:16:15 GMT

Although, I didnt see the show, as I am living in Germany now, I wish I had..but I wanted to thank you for doding a show wiht this topic.. I have had two miscarriages and heard the same old stupid but well meaning comments, "oh maybe its was for the best becuase something was wrong with the baby" and on and on.. I am somtimes not even sure that my husband really gets the depth of my loss, although he says he lost a baby too.. Since both of my losses women in my family are coming out of the woodwork saying "I had a miscarriage too" yet I never knew... I guess we all suffer pretty much in silence and alone..I am currently on my second round of clomid, hoping to produce better quality follicals although I am not sure that it does..but at this stage in the game, I am 42 and time is running out for me.. Its too bad I met my husband so late in life otherwise I would have started earlier. My heart goes out to all of those that have suffered a loss at any stage in Pregnancy and "YES it is a death in the family.. sincerly, Kymberley Reusch, Germany

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

M, Long Island, NY — Wed, 09 May 2007 10:59:27 GMT

Thank you for doing this story. Watching it this morning made me cry. I've had 2 miscarriages & am currently 8w3d pregnant again & keeping my fingers crossed. I've had pretty much every test done & there's no reason. I am being 'empirically treated' with baby aspirin, extra B6 & B12, progesterone & my prenatals. We'll go next week for our 2nd sonogram. With both prior pregnancies, we saw the hb & relaxed b/c the 'risk of m/c after seeing the hb is less than 1%'. Like I said, we're cautious. It's so hard because there is a stigma attached to miscarriage. I feel that people think there's something wrong with me (or us). When you're emotionally ready to talk about it, people don't want to hear it. We're just supposed to get over it. We've lost children - how do you get over that? Thank you again Meredith for shedding light on this. I want to send this link to everyone I know!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Cindy, Upstate NY — Wed, 09 May 2007 11:47:31 GMT

1989 we already had a healthy 3 year old when I got pregnant again. This pregnancy was not as easy as the first and then I suffered a miscarriage at 25 weeks. Ian was perfect. We were devastated. My mother couldn't understand why we would have a funeral and she still doesn't acknowledge Ian by name or go to the cemetery. That really hurts. People really don't understand how this affects your life. We eventually found out it was because of fibroids that the sack could not stay attached to the wall. Luckily we got pregnant again in 1993, and while I did start bleeding again at 25 weeks, bed rest got us through to the end. Our boys are now 20 & 13 and we still feel the loss of Ian wondering what if...I now send sympathy cards to people who have lost infants, no matter how the child died, because I know how I felt when very few people acknowledged our loss.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Peg Sloss — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:26:48 GMT

Thank you for recognizing that a miscarriage is a true loss. I had multiple miscarriages years ago & they were treated as nothings! Yet to this day I feel the loss. Please tell others to check for allergic reactions to the proteins in sperm as a posssible cause. Thankfully I had 3 children grown to adults, one who has passed away.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jackie Rutters — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:38:05 GMT

I am confused as to what "infertility" is? I have very irregular periods, so it is hard to track ovulation. What can I do to know when my body is ovulating? I've tried the home ovulation kits and haven't had any success.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Deana Wagerer — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:41:02 GMT

I can appreciate all the stories this week. I understand the devastation of a miscarriage/ miscarriages. But, nobody ever spaeks of stillborn babies.... Almost 21 months ago our daughter Madeline Grace was born still at 34 weeks. With a "perfect" pregnancy we were devastated and shocked that this could happen. Madeline Grace was a person! Still I can't go near friends that have children or even seeing a strangers baby, my have aches. Forget even seeing a pregnant women! They warn you about miscarriages... And after 12 weeks the say it is "safe." They should really talk more about stillborns. Our babies were real and if we are blessed with another child, Madeline Grace will always be our first born!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

C Reynolds, Glen Allen, VA — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:45:51 GMT

I too have PCOS and suffered many losses before having my perfectly healthy daughter 8years ago. I suffered through test after test, drug after drug and would be so excited when I got pregnant only to lose the baby in the first 12 weeks. We learned after the first loss, not to share with anyone until we were past 12 weeks. My third pregnancy was twins by natural conception, in my 14th week- I went into labor and lost them, the Dr at the ER could not offer me any comfort and I begged to please have my children cremated instead of studied. It frustrated my husband that my Dr wanted me to miscarry at home, stating that nothing could be done. I could have bled to death or any number of complications. I bled horribly and could not even begin to clean up, I shut down. Thank goodness for my mother who came to the ER and brought me new clothes and washed me tenderly as if she was easing the pain. Finally, on my fourth pregnancy we learned that I needed to take a baby aspirin everyday to help trick my body--it was attacking the baby and somehow that helped to prevent it. I spotted at 10weeks, I cramped occassionally but I prayed often and God blessed me with my perfect little Danielle. I think the hardest thing is when your spouse does not understand. My husband grieved but in a different way. He felt like all of the children before were Danielle trying to make it to us. I feel that each was their own person and soul and I know one day, I will see them all.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Cathy Sullivan ,Newington, Ct. — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:56:04 GMT

My daughter and son-in-law experienced three difficult pregnancies followed by miscarriagesa. THey had two unsuccessful in-vitro attempts. THey decided to adopt domestically. Three weeks before Christmas, 2005 they met their newborn son. We don't see him as our adopted family member. He is part of our family.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kristene Nelson, Union Grove, Wisconsin — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:56:08 GMT

I myself have a Blood clotting disorder called APS (antiphsolipid antibody disorder) I have 4 children and have had 3 miscarrages. The dr's tested me for APS after my last miscarrage. Which of corse they found I had it. I got pregnant again with my daughter Avery in August of 2005. The dr's started me on injections of Lovenox and Baby Aspirin as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Avery is now a healthy happy baby girl. I believe more doctors should start doing more investigating sooner when it comes to miscarrages. Not wait till a woman has 3 or more miscarrages and say it is a fluke or that the woman just can't bare children. Thank You Merdith for running Your story.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Leslie O'Donnell — Wed, 09 May 2007 12:57:08 GMT

I work in the mornings and do not see your show very often. My foster sister suffered 5 late term miscarriages before giving birth to her first child 18 years ago. In the process of trying to have him she was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix and irratble bowel symdrome. When she would have an attack it would cause pre-term labor and she would lose the baby, sometimes as late as 4 1/2 months into the pregnancy. We were so glad when they finally found a way for her to carry a baby past 5 months that we didn;t even stop and think about what it would cost. She was put to bed on total bed rest after only the second month, her cervix was stitched shut, and she was given IV magnesium sulfate - a solution for stopping pre-term labor at home from the third month on, she was also monitored at rome from the fourth month on. This was successful, but it ment that she couldn't be in my wedding, a small price on both her and my part. 30minutes before my wedding started she gave birth to a 7 pound baby boy, only 3 weeks early. She went through it all again three years later and had a beautiful baby girl.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Melissa, East Fishkill, NY — Wed, 09 May 2007 13:02:53 GMT

Please keep in mind that the tax credit related to adoption ($10,000+) is not automatically available to everyone. There is a sliding scale based on income that dwindles down to no credit for those couples with income at about $190,000/year (approx). Please consult with an accountant to get the exact amounts. It is a misconception that you are giving people to think that anybody adopting can qualify.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christine Spassione, Irvington, NJ — Wed, 09 May 2007 13:11:21 GMT

I am so grateful to the Today Show for airing this segment. It was a great education for family, friends and those in the medical profession who either don't have the time to run testing after a first or second miscarriage, or who are just ignorant of the need for it. I have gone through three miscarriages since the birth of my 3-year-old son (conceived through infertility treatments) - and my doc was smart enough to run all testing possible and find I have both a blood clotting disorder AND autoimmune thyroid disease, in addition to infertility issues and fibroids. We are hoping the next try will bring about a different outcome. My miscarriages were very hard to deal with - like Christine featured in your segment, my first and last miscarriage blindsided me. The second I knew about for three weeks and had to be medically terminated. The culmination of the three miscarriages brought about anxiety issues that I have spend the better part of a year overcoming through counseling and anti-anxiety medication. Most family, friends and medical professionals don't understand how losing a child feels and, although they mean well, often say the wrong things. I would love to see everyone watch this segment - and finally understand that a miscarriage is not the loss of some unnamed fetal matter. These losses are of children we so want and long for - and are robbed from us.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

AMY, NEW JOHNSONVILLE, TENNESSEE — Wed, 09 May 2007 14:01:13 GMT

I am so glad that this segment on infertily has been done. I am 26 years old and my husband and I have been trying to concieve for 4 & 1/2 years. I have been diagonosed with pcos ( polystic ovarian syndrome. We have tried several cycles of clomid unsuccessfully. We were then told our best chance of concieving would be to go to a fertility clinic and try artifical insemination or IVF. We went with artifical insemination because of the cost of IVF being so much. We tried one cycle with the injections and were once again unsuccessful. We decided to wait before we tried again due to the cost of the procedure and the hope that we would be able to get pregnant on our own. 6 months later i discovered I was pregnant, I went to the doctor the day I found out we had blood work and an ultrasound and I was 6 weeks, we were able to already see the heartbeat . At 7 weeks when we went to have another sonogram there was no longer a heartbeat. We were devasted. It has now been another year since my miscarriage and we have finally decided to try artifical insemination again. We are hoping and praying that we are successful. This program could not have been aired at a better time, it has been so comforting to know that other people are going through what we are. While reading all of the storys that have been posted it gives us hope that we will be able to have to have a child of our own. Thank you again for having this story I think we all needed this encouragement.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jenny, Cleveland, Ohio — Wed, 09 May 2007 14:54:36 GMT

I am one of the very many women out there with PCOS. I started exhibiting signs (that my doctors dismissed) when I started a very early puberty. (How many 8 year olds do you know with acne?)I thought that I was just lucky that my cycle was two or three times longer than everyone elses. I married very young. At the time, PCOS had only given me about 30 extra pounds, and I was still able to get pregnant. Thanks to a window of fertility where your hormones stay normal for a few months after a baby or miscarrage, I was able to get pregnant 5 times in 5 years. I have 4 children. I was only 24 when my last was born. My doctors tell me it was a miracle that I was able to get pregnant at all, and that it is definately out of the cards for me now. I have so much love for my "cysters" who are suffering with infertility. I'm now getting a degree in health and human services. Most of my papers are about adoption and public health. Most people think about international adoption as US families adopting from elsewhere. There is also a trend of US black or bi-racial children being adopted abroad. The waiting list for black or bi-racial children can be weeks and months instead of years. Some adoption agencies actually turn away black babies. There are older children that can be adopted asap. It's something to think about before spending your life savings.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Marsha, Kansas — Wed, 09 May 2007 16:18:03 GMT

Thank you for the story on miscarriages. My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 11 weeks in Nov,1980. The day before Thanksgiving. One thing I remember that really hurt was no one even mentioned it at my husbands TG dinner. Like we hadn't just had our hearts broken. I was so naive, really surprised and so disappointed. I didn't know anyone this had happened to or how to handle it. Fortunately I had a sensitive, caring ob/gyn who was helpful, a great husband and parents. My mother worked with an older woman who cried when she told her. She had miscarried when she was young and said it still made her sad. That helped me more than anything. My faith also got me through and became stronger. Then we had fertility problems, ending up going to a reproductive endocrinologist. After going through lots of tests, taking the highest level of Clomid allowable for over a year and using progesterone suppositories 3 times a day, we were pregnant! I had to keep using the progesterone for several months during the pregnancy, and delivered a healthy baby boy in 1983. Then we tried again only to miscarry again in Feb. 1986. It was devastating to both of us. I was at 13 weeks and had already had a sonogram the week before and everything was fine. I had seen & heard the heartbeat. Then a little spotting sent me to the Dr. He sent me to the hospital for a sonogram. I was by myself and remember laying on that table, not able to see the screen and several doctors standing there talking so I couldn't hear. It makes me cry just remembering that baby. You would think after all these years it wouldn't still bring all those feelings back to the surface. I struggled with anger every time the news had a story of child abuse. Why did those people get to have babies only to treat them like that? I'd still like to know the answer to that one. We did go on and have another son in 1987. I remember the relief of not having to think about pregnancy any more. That we had our two miracles and that was enough. The thing writing this makes me think is we older women really need to mentor younger ones going through this struggle. Don't give up! Thanks Merideth for being you! I am addicted to the Today Show even tho I only get to watch the first 45 minutes before leaving for work. I really appreciate your comments about this and sharing your personal life. Thanks again for bringing this story to light. Maybe people won't feel like they have to grieve alone now.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Ellen DuBois, S. Easton, MA — Wed, 09 May 2007 16:26:14 GMT

Hello, I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to you for bringing miscarriage and its fallout to the public eye. As the author of I Never Held You, a book about miscarriage, healing & recovery (2006) and host of MiscarriageHelp.com, I have been working SO hard to provide women with a helpful book & website to aid in healing, provide a safe place to vent, validate their grief, and create much more miscarriage awareness. My friend told me about your segment on miscarriage, and I'm SO sorry I missed it. However, simply knowing what you've done for women all over the world who've lived this heartache, does my heart so much good. In ONE segment, you've reached millions of women-something I have only been able to dream of. Blessings to all of you, and to those who have suffered through miscarriage, I wish you support, comfort & healing.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Annette Hartman, Okeechobee, FL — Wed, 09 May 2007 18:04:17 GMT

I missed this story about miscarriages, but am so glad to know that there is some coverage on this painful topic. I became pregnant with my first child quickly, only to find out at 11 weeks that our child had anencphaly. We carried our baby girl to term and she passed during delivery. It was the hardest thing that I had to go through and never wanted to experience any other loss again. We were very frustrated when it took us 15 months to become pregnant again. We finally got a positive test early March 2007. We were very excited but also nervous to have our first ultrasound. We really didn't believe that anything could be wrong. We found out at 9 weeks that we then miscarried. All our hopes and dreams have again been crushed. Not many people know what to say when someone losses a baby, but when no one wants to talk about the issue you feel very lonely. So thank you again for addressing this issue and bringing some light to how painful and heartbreaking losing a child really is. I only hope that this will continue in the future, so more women can find the comfort and help that they need.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tammy Olliff, Statesboro, GA — Wed, 09 May 2007 18:23:56 GMT

I want to say thank you for finally bringing this topic to people's attention. It seems to have been shied away from for so long that women think they are the only one going through this traumatic experience. I experienced 4 miscarriages and came to realize how my friends and family had no idea how hard it was for me. Thank you to Meredith for making it known that even with good intentions, comments such as "It was for the best" do nothing to console a woman after such a loss.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Ali, Anoka, Mn — Wed, 09 May 2007 18:53:59 GMT

It is sad to here that so many have had miscariges. I do have to say however that instead of pumping ourself up with drugs we first need to look at other alternatives... I ama 27yrs old Barren women. I suffer from PCOS... Because of the severity of my symptoms I am unable to get presnant without invetro fertilization... Instead of paying thousands of dollars just for a chance at giving birth to my "own" child I planning ot adopt. I recently had a very close friend of mine lose her baby 1 day before her due date. It was a sad thing, she had done everythting naturally. I say this as a prefice to what I am about to say. While it is sad to lose those childern, there are thousands of childern in the world who have lost, or been abandoned by there birth parents. Why as a nation do we alway have to have the New Shiny Polished version... why can't we stop when events like miscarrage happen and see that God may have a differnt plan? Adoption is an Option that is all to often left unconsidered. If you have had several miscarriges, Please, STOP waisting money on fertility drugs. GO.. adopt a child that will never know a the love of a parent if you don't. It's a guaranteed child, and they need you more than you need to have a new shiny baby of "your own"!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Maria Rodriguez, Boca Raton, FL — Wed, 09 May 2007 19:20:07 GMT

Once again another viewer wants to thank you for doing the show and miscarriage and acknowledging the silent pain that we go through. When I had my first miscarriage, almost a year ago, my dr. simply responded with "this things happen, try again", so we did, only to miscarry again. After the 2nd miscarriage he orded extensive blood work only to find out everything was normal. Believing that the third time would be the charm, we got pregnant again, and for the third time, had to have a d&c. The worst part after having surgery for a miscarriage, is going back to work the next day and put on a face as if nothing had happened and feeling ashamed for miscarrying. Now we were referred to reproductive endocrinologist. Besides dealing with the emotional stress, now we have does deal with the financial decisions as health insurance does not cover infertility testing. Recurrent pregnancy loss is a health issue, yet it is still not validated by most health insurances.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beth, Highland, NY — Wed, 09 May 2007 19:29:05 GMT

THANK YOU for doing this sensitive story on miscarriage. I am so glad this "silent sorrow" is getting national attention, because it has always occurred in women, and it affects more women than people care to realize. I have never had a miscarriage, but my third prgnancy I thought was going to end that way. It was the only one I spotted in the beginning. I felt the pain of the thought of losing that pregnancy, but I'm thankful to say, I went on to have a beautiful daughter. I am no stranger to grief, however. My second child, my first daughter Elizabeth was stillborn at 38 weeks on April 8, 2005. It was the most unexpected and devastating thing we have ever encountered. It has changed my life forever, and opened the door to many new relationships with those who have been through what I have been through. I never thought much about stillbirth, and when I looked back at all the pregnancy books I read, maybe a page was dedicated to it. I am grateful to have the two beautiful children I have, but I think about my angel Elizabeth every day, even two years later. I would love to see more attention directed towards stillbirth. Although an estimated 1% of births end in stillbirth, that still comes out to more than 20,000 a year. I am one of those 20,000, and so are so many more women.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Kimberly Emerson, Columbus, Ohio — Wed, 09 May 2007 21:18:06 GMT

I was unable to watch the Today Show segment regarding miscarriages; however, I did watch the webcast. A miscarriage/stillbirth is truly a loss of a family member. My husband and I, both in our early 30s, have suffered two losses. A miscarriage at 13 weeks, and less than one year later a stillborn daughter, Lauren Paige, at 25 weeks, due to a staph infection. Fortunately, my OB is wonderful and felt it was extremely important to have myself, my husband and Lauren tested. Everything has come back normal for my husband and I; however, the infection compromised Lauren's tests. We have consultant my OB, as well as a Fetal Medicine Specialist, and been given the ok to try again. But, like many others, it's still extremely hard to see babies, pregnant women and "celebrate" Mother's Day, as my due date was to have been May 2nd. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever lost a pregnancy.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Jennifer, California — Wed, 09 May 2007 21:46:49 GMT

It is somewhat comforting to know that I am not the only one suffering out there. I suffered what was called a late miscarriage in 2005. I was 19 weeks pregnant and went into labor. I had my son in the emergency room and was told since he was not past 20 weeks he was not considered a still born. Because of this, my husband and I were not given the choice to have him cremated. It was the most terrible experience for me and top of it was told by the medical staff that these things just happen sometimes. It took me a long time to get over the grief of losing a child. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. The only thing that kept me going was that I had two successful pregnancies before him. I like everyone else was given lame excuse as to why this may have happened. After almost two years I got pregnant again and in the early stages of my pregnancy had issues with early spotting so I insisted on seeing a specialist and after series of testing they diagnosed me with having a blood clotting disorder. I began taking injections of lovenox daily and baby aspirin. On April 6, 2008 I went in for my regular check up and my doctor did an ultrasound only to find out that there was no heartbeat. I cannot tell you how devastating this was to my husband, myself and my family. People need to know how devastating it is to lose a child in any stage of pregnancy. Whether it be a miscarriage or stillborn. It's devastating all the same. A loss is a loss no matter what stage of pregnancy you are in.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

APS Foundation of America, Inc — Wed, 09 May 2007 22:03:15 GMT

The APS Foundation of America, Inc. (APSFA) has declared June as National Antiphospholipid Antibody (APS) Awareness Month. We are educating the public and medical community about this disorder, urging people to Get in the Flow! Twenty-five percent of recurrent miscarriages are due to APS; sadly people aren’t tested until it is too late. The APSFA is sending petitions to several states to make June APS Awareness Month. The APSFA will be attending conferences, medical seminars, grand rounds and health fairs to share the patient perspective and provide awareness of APS throughout the month of June and also encouraging the community to Get in the Flow. Individual and APSFA fundraisers will be occurring throughout the country to help promote APS Awareness and help support the mission. Knowing more about APS can make all the difference. Get in the know and Get in the Flow! The APS Foundation of America is proud to declare the month of June, National APS Awareness month. To learn more about this disease, or to support awareness, log onto www.apsfa.org. You could help save a life; it might be your own.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Tammy Scott, Parkersburg, WV — Wed, 09 May 2007 22:18:38 GMT

Thank you for doing this very important show. Many family, friends and those in the medical profession still need education on how to treat people that are going through this. I have had two miscarriages. It was so nice to hear someone say that it is a death of a family member. So many people say things like "well at least you can get pregnant" or " at least you didn't get to know and love this baby" How can you not know and love a baby from the second you find out you are pregnant. Doctors need more education on treating women and families. The education about the testing before a third M/C is so very important, why must a woman and family go through 3 deaths before getting help. The info on the clotting disorders is also very important. I have Factor V (I am also borderline diabetic and I am AMA, Advanced Maternal Age) and they are just now learning that it can cause M/C in the first trimester, before (and still a lot) of Dr. would say that Factor V does not cause loss in the first trimester. A blood work up should include testing for Factor V, Factor VIII, Factor XI, Protein C, Protein S, MTHFR, Lupus Anticoagulant, just to name a few. A lot of this is so new that when my PCP got my test results he did not know what a lot of the test were. We should not have fight for the right to be tested. I am so very lucky that I have Doctors that did not make me wait. I cannot thank you enough for putting this info. out there. Thank You

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Katie, Philadelphia, PA — Wed, 09 May 2007 22:33:33 GMT

Thank you for doing a story on miscarriage. The loss of a baby at anytime during a pregnany can be devastating. People still need to confront the issue of stillbirth which is the loss of your baby after 20 weeks of gestation. Approximately 1 in 150 pregnancies result in a stillbirth. I recently suffered the loss of my son at 38 weeks from a fetal-maternal hemorrhage. I delivered an otherwise perfectly healthy baby who I carried to term. Holding our beautiful baby and not being able to take him home with us has been the worst experience of our lives. The only things we have to remember him are footprints, pictures and a death certificate. Please do a show to address the issue of stillbirth as well.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Karen G., Chester County, PA — Wed, 09 May 2007 22:57:01 GMT

Thank you all for the Today Show segment and for sharing your feelings. I can't tell you how much it means to me to read messages from people who truly understand. I had a very rare (cornual) ectopic pregnancy and had emergency surgery, losing a tube and the corner of my uterus. I knew that friends and family were concerned with my health and life, but I did miscarry, and that seemed to be on the back burner for everyone but me. I really identified with something said above: "after your family and friends and sometimes even your husband have moved on, you are left to grieve the loss and events such as missed due dates and anniversaries mean nothing to anyone but you." I feel like I should not have to be ashamed to be sad, just because it makes other people uncomfortable. With Mother's Day coming up, and 5 of my close friends and family pregnant, I am finding this week especially difficult. It has helped me so much to read this and have people share openly about this devastating subject.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christine, Rotterdam NY — Thu, 10 May 2007 00:49:37 GMT

I recently suffered a loss at 35 weeks its been devestating and find that talking about it helps. Having a loss has been devestating and have talked about making people aware. I was not able to see the show when it aired but a co worker knew that I was looking to make a difference in educating people and told me that this aired so I could go and listen online. For me the loss was great for my family and close friends it was close to a loss of me as well. I had severe preeclamsia and there are no answers why it didnt show up until it was too late. My husband and I communicate all the time its not easy but we are getting to a new normal

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Danni, New York — Thu, 10 May 2007 01:18:33 GMT

I have suffered two miscarriages, one in October 2006 and the other in April 2007. We are patiently waiting to try it again (my doctor asked me to wait 2 months). I have been crying every day this week when I watch the stories on the Today Show. They have touched me profoundly because I can relate to them. Even if I do get pregnant and deliver a baby in the future I want to adopt as well. I got even more inspiration and information today from the adoption segment.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Elizabeth, Boca Raton, FL — Thu, 10 May 2007 02:14:01 GMT

I have a similar story. I had started consulting a Reproductive Endocrynologist for infertility testing when I, by coincidence, got pregnant naturally. I went on to miscarry, my second. I asked the RE to send me for the Recurrent Miscarriage Blood Panel (after learning of it on the internet). He refused saying that I needed to have one more miscarriage and sending me to the test would be a waste of time. He then said I should do clomid+IUI, which I refused! I left his office and went back to my gynecologist and she agreed to send me for the tests. It turns out that I have a blood clotting disorder called Protein S Deficiency. I was then referred to a Perinatologist who has sent me for additional blood tests. I will get those tests results on May 31.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

MJ, Syracuse, NY — Thu, 10 May 2007 04:06:36 GMT

I have had 3 miscarriages in a little under 2 years. All of them have ended before 10 weeks. Two of which ended exactly on the same day of development. (9wks 4dys) I have no children and want to know why this keeps happening! I am glad that people are sharing their experiences. Maybe if more people talked about their situations more research would be done. I want to know if miscarriage rates are on the rise, or if people are just more open about it. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Catherine Clement, Bakersfield, CA — Thu, 10 May 2007 04:45:04 GMT

Thank you for bringing what I believe to be a very important health issue to your show. The woman you showed on your segment had had miscarriages due to a blood clotting disorder. Our daughter, Jessica, died at 20 years old from complications of hughes syndrome. This syndrome is very common and yet most doctors are usually not familar with it. Hughes is an autoimmune disease, that is the triggering factor in one of five cases of young strokes under 45,1 in 5 cases of recurrent miscarriages, all potentially preventable! Hughes syndrome is easily diagnosed (if you can find a doctor that knows anything about it) and most improtant - treatable. No one needs to die of this disease, and yet many people do. It is my hope and prayer to bring awareness of this very common and potentially lethal disease. Please research this and bring this to public attention. Thank you for caring, Catherine Clement

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Christine, Ontario Canada — Thu, 10 May 2007 05:53:46 GMT

I just want to thank Today for this wonderful series. I have suffered through 4 miscarriages and am still awaiting a sucessful pregnancy. Meredith gave me hope that one day I will have a healthy baby. She also hit the nail right on the head when she said if someone you know suffers a loss not to say "Don't worry, you'll get pregnant again". She is absolutely right because all you want is a tight hug and support when you need it. If one of my friends or family members saw this story and understands how I feel I will be truly grateful. I would really love to hear more of Meredith's struggle when trying to concieve.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Carrie, Pittsburgh PA — Thu, 10 May 2007 13:11:04 GMT

Thank you so much for talking about this issue. I had my first baby Feb of 2005 and quickly found out in June that year that I was expecting again! A month later we miscarried. Then in June of 2005 we were expecting again and we were so excited!! That July I miscarried again the same week my mom passed away (I was devastated)!! I thought it was me and my stress but found out it was a chromosome problem in both of my miscarriages. I was glad you had this show on the air, my husband and I are now going to make an appt to see our doctor. THANKS!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beth, Highland, New York — Thu, 10 May 2007 14:37:01 GMT

Thank you so much for doing this piece. Miscarriage is such a "silent sorrow'. I lost my daughter Elizabeth at 38 weeks on April 8, 2005, and not a day goes by where I don't think about her and grieve for her. She was my second child, and after a perfect pregnancy, I lost her to a cord accident. I'm thankful to say that we have moved forward and welcomed her little sister safely to this world almost a year ago. Tammy Fine, your story brought a tear to my eye. My angel's name is Elizabeth, and my daughter on Earth is named Abigail! I hope in the future you do a piece on late -term loss, or stillbirth. Any loss is devastating, and it's nice to see people talking about it instead of telling women to forget about it and move on, like they used to.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Chrissie, Lincoln, NE — Thu, 10 May 2007 16:18:42 GMT

I wanted to thank you for airing the story on miscarriages. We have such a death denying society, it is not talked about often enough. It has been helpful for me to read other people's stories. In February 2007, I lost conjoined twins at 17 weeks. I also wanted to thank Meredith for saying "it is a death in the family"

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

linda darrington, charleston, sc — Thu, 10 May 2007 20:10:28 GMT

I experience 7 failed pregnancies but finally had a daughter on my 8th attempt. All of my losses were between 16-18 weeks and my body did not 'miscarry'. Each time the ultrasound would reveal no hearbeat. I ended up getting several D&Cs, D&E, and actually delivered one baby so that we could do an autopsy to see if it would help figure out what was wrong. We tried all the typical treatments: hormones, blood thinners, steroids etc. and no one could figure out what the problem was. On my 8th pregnancy, ultrasound showed that nothing was helping and we were told the baby was in distress and would never make it. We tried something that was considered experimental at the time accepting that the 8th preganancy was over. We thought that it would give us some indication as to whether we should try again and use this treatment(high dose immunoglobulin).Currently, medical advice is that it is not proven to help. However for me, Within two days of receiving the immunoglobulin there was fluid around my baby. The baby that they told us to mourn because she would never make it is 11 years old now. For those of you who fall in the catagory of 'we don't know the cause' , be persistant if you can be. And remember that though there may not be enough research to support a treatment, does not mean that it will not work for you. Many of these situation happen at such a low percentage, it may not be possible to gather enough research to support a treatment. The emotional toll is high and I feel for everyone who has to experience such sorrow. You are not alone. Hopefully some of these stories will help those of you who are still trying

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Beth, Decatur, GA — Fri, 11 May 2007 12:58:10 GMT

I suffered 4 miscarriages in a span of 2 years. Luckily, I had a doctor who was very proactive and ran all the "general" tests to find a cause. After 2 natural miscarriages and 2 D&Cs where he recommended testing the tissue, there was still no cause for it. He suggested I see a specialist for more specialized tests. The tests all came back inconclusive, I (and my eggs) were perfectly normal. Fortunately, at that same time I was pregnant again. The specialist suggested I start taking low dose aspirin. Sometime between my 5th - 6th week my progesterone level had dropped a bit but was still in the normal range. He prescribed progesterone to be cautious. I don't know if that did it but I had a full term healthy daughter and now we are having our second child. I am convinced that if it had not been for the progesterone, my daughter would not be here today.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Emilee — Fri, 11 May 2007 17:07:10 GMT

I was very glad that a friend of mine watched this piece on miscarriages tuesday and i was able to find it on line. You see, the day this show aired I had suffered my miscarriage only the evening before. It has been five days now and it is so hard! I feel so blessed that i already have two beautiful girls, but this is the most painful thing I have ever experienced! It really struck me when he said "it feels as if there was a death in the family", and this is so true. My children are as devastated as I am and it is so hard to "untell" people of your pregancy, especially when somebody comes up to you and asks how the pregancy is going. I work with pregnant and parenting teenagers and I am scared to return to work next week and the feelings I will feel being around them and their babies. I hope you continue to air more of these heartfelt stories because it really does help to hear from people who truly do "understand"!

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Angelique Hopkins, Coram, NY — Mon, 14 May 2007 17:23:09 GMT

I was very touched by the story you did on Miscarriages last week. I suffered a miscarriage 6 weeks ago when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I was and still am devastated by this. I think people don't realize that having a miscarraige is losing a child it doesn't matter whether you carried that child for 6 weeks or 6 months. It doesn't matter that you never got to hold that baby, give him or her a name and didn't even know if it was a him or her the pain is very real and very strong. Some people say "oh well it wasn't meant to be" or "you'll have others" as if that replaces the on you lost. I applaud you for doing this piece and wish more news stations, magazines and book publishers would follow your example.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Amy Welch Litchfield Mn — Mon, 21 May 2007 17:12:17 GMT

I missed your story on Miscarriage but have suffered one after having two healthy girls. The physical pain I felt was nothing compared to the emotional pain. I had friends avoid me or make comments like well you have two already. It is a tragic loss no matter how far along you are or how many children you have. I still think of my child every day and wonder if it was a boy or girl. He or She would be turning one this month. I got pregnant right away and had a healthy little boy but still feel the loss of the baby I never held. I wish Dr.s would give you sonogram pictures or something to help you morn your loss and make it more real to other people. That is the one thing I regret is not having anything to say yes I did have a child that was lost. Thanks for the story and bringing to light something none of us should be ashamed about.

A personal experience with the painful loss of miscarriage

Joel Vijay Raj — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 09:16:03 GMT

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