Who is worthy of your organs?
Posted: Tuesday, April 01, 2008 7:17 PM by Jen Brown
Filed Under:
Health
From Stephanie Becker, TODAY producerI think I've been a fairly generous person to my friends. I have given them the usual stuff: birthday gifts, money, books, a ride to the airport, and probably too much unsolicited advice (you get what you pay for). But I'm pretty sure I'd never give a friend an organ from my body. So it’s a good thing I’m not Annamarie Ausnes’ friend.
Sandie Anderson, a Starbucks Barista from Tacoma, Wash.,
donated one of her kidneys to customer Annamarie Ausnes. The friendship had brewed over the three years that Annamarie's been ordering her daily double-cupped single drip. In that time the 50-something women would chit-chat about kids and grandkids and they realized they had a lot in common. More, apparently, than they'd expected. So, when Annamarie told Sandie her kidneys were failing, Sandy offered to donate one of hers. Turns out she was a match and on March 11 the transplant took place. Annamarie calls Sandie her angel.
It's all making me feel badly about my selfish self. I looked at my barista the other day, the one with the pierced tongue, and I just knew I would never give her a kidney. But that thought made me feel guilty enough to give her a $5 tip for a $1.95 coffee. (I wondered if she would have to share that with her supervisor.)
Only about 1 percent of the 7,000 live kidney transplants last year came from non-family members. We launched a very unscientific
online poll asking if our viewers would donate to a non-family member. When the first return came in, it was 100 percent no. That was my vote. (In the end it was about 58 percent no, 42 percent yes.) My reaction is a combination of fear (what if I might need it later), selfishness (it's mine all mine!) and a little bit of altruism about my family's future (what if someone else in my family needs it?).
Three years ago, on Thanksgiving weekend, (coincidentally and/or ironically), my brother-in-law's brother (in law - he's a cop) Michael donated a kidney to his brother Chris. Chris is married to my sister and has had Type 1 diabetes since childhood. The transplanted kidney probably saved Chris' life and now we'll all get to watch Chris watch my 5-year-old nephew (see adorable child to the right) grow up. Michael definitely took that whole "To serve and protect" motto to the extreme.
Most of my friends agree they'd draw the same line I have. Does it mean I have a posse of anti-altruistic acquaintances? Perhaps. But, I'd have to forgo getting tested for a possible donation just to avoid the moral dilemma: once you know you could save someone's life and didn't, could you live with yourself?
When I stopped thinking hypothetically and started thinking, what if I knew a really close friend who would die without a transplant, someone like Anita, my best friend from 9th grade who is a card-carrying genius do-gooder? Or Erin, mother of four cool kids who spends hours cheering me up with hilarious stories of her eclectic family. Or Terri who is my Clara Barton when I'm sick. Or Roselyn who helped me book O.J. Simpson and Jermaine Jackson in the same year. Or the guy who lets me draft behind him on our morning bike ride up the big hill. How close do you have to be to save someone's life?
Fortunately I don't have to make such a decision, so I'm still drawing the line at family. Like a squirrel hoarding acorns, I'm storing my spare body parts for a relative’s needs later.
And if we're all really lucky, later will never happen.
