My almost 7 year old son was diagnosed with selective mutism last year. It's hard for people to believe that he is a completely different person at home as apposed to when he is in any social situations. At home he is a normal talkative (sometimes too talkative!) and playful little boy. However, the moment he steps into his classroom at school or at church, he will not speak to anyone. He has improved over last year, though. He whispered answers to his teacher's questions into her ear in kindergarten. This year he whispers a bit louder and not in her ear. He has also made a few friends this year. He still gets very uncomfortable with more than one child at a time, though. Thanks so much for finally doing a show on this disorder!!

That's very interesting. It souds like he knows someone with this disorder because that's exactly what my son is like!!!

I wish I could have seen it.  I can't get the video.  This is my daughter.  She can now, however, do an oral report in school, but she speaks very softly.  I worry about her a lot.

My son is 9 years old and was dignosed with selective mustism in 2nd grade. When he was in preschool, it was a battle just to get him dressed because he knew he would be going to school. He would fight me and cry shaking his head "NO" and then once in class wouldn't speak and wouldn't even walk. They set him in a wagon and just pushed him around all day. I often asked the teachers why he would be doing that and they would always tell me he was just shy and it would get better. Not true. Kindergarten was the same way. I had to carry him to school and hand him off to his teacher to calm him down from crying. 1st grade he finally started calming down, I still had to be there with him until his teacher took his hand and walked him into class, he still wouldn't talk, but he wasn't crying and fighting me. We had some days that were harder than others. 2nd grade- his teacher decided to do something about it and had my son see the school counselor. I thank her for that everyday. This couselor had actually seen this in another child at one time and recognized it. She had me come in and asked several questions and at that moment she told me he had this condition. It was such a relief. I now know that something can be done. My son has made some progress. He is now speaking to a couple of teachers at school (as long as no one else is around), speaking to the couselor, I can drop him off at school without having to walk him to the teacher. So yes, he still has a way to go, but from where he started, he has come a long way. Thank you so much for letting others know of this condition. I was really tired of people just saying that he was being stubborn and didn't wanting to talk.

Thank you for airing this story.  My 7-year old has SM, and it is so heart-wrenching to hear the comments made due to the lack of knowledge of this condition.  People would tell me directly in front of my daughter that she "was really in control" or "down-right stubborn."  I now have a handy card that I readily present to people in order to avoid any comments that do not need to be spoken in front of her.  I often refer to selectivemutism.org for helpful information.  People need to be informed of this condition.  Negative comments spoken to them can set these children back, and that is the last thing they need.

I went through this same ordeal with my daugheter. She is now 15 and there are still some family members that she will not speak in front of. When she was 5 they put her on prozac. I would not recommend the prozac to anyone. This drug made her melt away. She became addicted to it and acted like a kid getting candy when it was time for her dose. I quickly took her off it and did everything I could to help her. It is very difficult to 'force' your kid to talk. People have no idea... It's easier to punish a kid for talking too much. Trust me when I say, there are on easy answers on this. Avoid allowing your kids to be druged. Things are much better with my daughter now. It has been a long difficult road.

My son was diagnosed in pre-school.  He just quit talking seems like over night.  He'd clamp his lips the minute someone else entered a room, or when he went near people.  His younger brother would talk for him...when he came home from school, WOW, the energy, the talking, couldn't shut him up!!!  We had a great Kindergarden teacher, day care and therapist that worked with him.  We moved to a new school before he started 1st grade, I told him that know one knew about his problem and that maybe he could try talking.  He said "I was thinking that".  He still was VERY shy and quiet, but there is hope!!!! Each year got better and better.  He joined every sport, was a jock in high school, had a large group of friends.  He is now 20 years old, in college, joined a fraternaty, and has really opened up as a young man.  He recruited this summer for the frat, and his comment to me was, "Mom you don't know how hard this was for me".  I said, "YES, I do, and i am so proud of you"!!!!  

My son was diagnosed in pre-school.  He just quit talking seems like over night.  He'd clamp his lips the minute someone else entered a room, or when he went near people.  His younger brother would talk for him...when he came home from school, WOW, the energy, the talking, couldn't shut him up!!!  We had a great Kindergarden teacher, day care and therapist that worked with him.  We moved to a new school before he started 1st grade, I told him that know one knew about his problem and that maybe he could try talking.  He said "I was thinking that".  He still was VERY shy and quiet, but there is hope!!!! Each year got better and better.  He joined every sport, was a jock in high school, had a large group of friends.  He is now 20 years old, in college, joined a fraternaty, and has really opened up as a young man.  He recruited this summer for the frat, and his comment to me was, "Mom you don't know how hard this was for me".  I said, "YES, I do, and i am so proud of you"!!!!  

My son was diagnosed at age 4 with selective mutism.  He would not speak outside the home in all of preschool or his first year of kindegarten.  I took him to a specialist at Ochsner Hospital in New Orleans roughly 4 years ago and they placed him on Zoloft.  He took the Zoloft for nearly 2 years.  It seemed to help him deal with his anxiety.  I decided to have him repeat Kindegarten.  He no longer takes the Zoloft.  And, he is now in the 2nd grade and speaks and interacts absolutely normally.  Most people can not believe that he would not talk in the past.  I am so grateful I was able to find help for him.

As a semi-retired Speech Pathologist, I praise the program about SM that appeared on NBC. I spent a professional lifetime teaching about and dealing with clients who are SM, stutter or are Communicatively Apprehensive, culminating in the writing of stories within books about interesting clients. One of these was a 3 yr old girl who stopped talking abruptly and only commuincated with a "meow," entitled..."The Girl Who Meowed LIke A Cat."

MY son is now 25 and ready to graduate from college .  He was diagnosed with SM at about 4-5 and the school psychologist and speech therapist both worked with him.  They had him call people in his class and talk to them.  He also called relatives he chose and talked.  After about a year or so, he was able to talk in a whisper then regular level.  In middle school he even got into trouble for talking too much. That was music to our ears!  I think it takes time and patience and help from school officials.  

My daughter was never keen on going to school. Last year at age 18 she became so terrified with the idea of attending class that the school district is now having to send a teacher to my home to school her.

My daughter, who is now 19, still has selective mutism. We thought it was shyness all through the school years. We went through counseling and tried Paxil and nothing has helped. She is now in college but still has no friends. We are still hoping for the day she will come out of her shell. She is such a delight at home and just wish others could see her like that.

My husband is a speech pathologist. He was very successful in assisting two brothers, age 3 and 5 to come out of their mutism These children did not speak outside of their home.He worked with them at school. Very little was known about this problem at the time. They had already been mute for @ 1-2 yrs when he met the children It took so much patience and insight. This story had a happy ending. The children are grown now and speak fluently.

Thank you so much for your story on Selective Mutism. This is an extremely complicated social anxiety disorder that has very young children suffering silently - literally. Our granddaughter has SM and only talks to 5 immediate family members. We have found very few resources so she is working with doctors and counselors who have little or no experience with selective mutism.  She is in kindergarten and has a wonderful teacher but it is so difficult to hear her say how much she would like to talk - and just as difficult for us to know how to answer her.  We hope that enough people will read about SM on your website and in People magazine and come forward with their own personal experiences.  Maybe one day our SM children will have a multitude of resources so they can quickly overcome their fears.  Thank you again for helping make Selective Mutism a condition that may finally be understood by everyone.  

I'm a retired kindergarten teacher working with a former student with SM.  I've found that the website www.selectivemutism.org has been very helpful in understnding the disorder.  The book, Helping your Child with Selective Mutism, has given us the step by step plans for working with our child.  The Ideal Setting for the Seletively Mute Child by Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum has been a great resource for my student's current teachers.  Thank you for helping to raise awareness.

I teach a self-contained language impaired classroom for students in grades K-2.  I have a very bright kindergarten girl who is selectively mute.  She will answer some questions in a whisper and is more likely to whisper to my aide than to me.  Her father states she talks and sings all the time at home.  It is becomming very frustrating because I don't know how to help her.  Can anyone point me in the right direction?

I had a student several years ago who suffered from this disorder.  I am a music teacher and he would not sing in my class, but participated in everything we did.  He was quite social and had many friends, but did not speak.  In first grade he began speaking. I can still remember the first time he went out of his way to say hello in the hallway.  Last year in fourth grade we all marveled as he and a friend did a stand-up comedy routine for the school talent show.  No one would ever believe this was the same child.  

Thank you so much for raising awareness about selective mutism.  Three of our four children have been diagnosed with SM.  I encourage all parents to share websites, articles and programs about SM with their family, friends, doctors, therapists, and school staff.  Children deserve to have an educated support system.  They need daily opportunity to learn and use strategies for dealing with anxiety. A friend recently wrote to me "Isn't it great how God takes care of all of the details of our life.  Just when we need it most, this information is being shared on tv and in magazines."  

Thank you for educating people about Selective Mutism.  I have a support group that helps parents, teachers and relatives to understand what others are going through and how to help their child.  Everyone is welcome to join at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Selectivemutismsupportgroup/

We are elated that finally SM is getting the media attention that it deserves.  We knew that my daughter, now 12, had a problem from the very beginning.  She would become completely mute is all social situations and could not speak outside of her parents, siblings and grandparents.  At home, in her comfort zone, she was a chatterbox and a typical bossy older sister to her 2 siblings.  

Unfortunately, at the time there was very little information available.  We were even told by our pediatrician that we were dealing with a shy child and she would "outgrow" it.  NOT TRUE.  Finally in 2002, my sister-in-law shared an article she had read about SM and we finally had a name for what we were dealing with.  But despite having a diagnosis, there were no psychologists in our area skilled to deal with this particular disorder, so even though we sought help, we made little if any progress.  

The younger years were difficult but nothing compared to the middle school years.  If a child were to have a physical handicap, generally adults and children offer kindness and understanding.  Not so with SM.  There is so much ignorance.  

We are now seeing a doctor who specializes in treating SM and after years of being dead set against medication our daughter has recently begun taking paxil.  Our hope is for the world to know what an amazing, smart, funny and loving child she is.

BTW...does anyone find that their SM child takes out their frustrations by verbally fighting with siblings?

I am the mom of a selectively mute 6 year old girl. My daughter was diagnosed in preschool and is now in the 1st grade.We have worked with a wonderful counselor when we lived in New York but we have recently moved to North Carolina and have not found a new counselor as of yet.There has been slight progress with my daughter but we are still a long way off from everyone getting to know the "real Emily" when my child goes to school she is silent and statue like. At home she is a beautiful happy outgoing child. I am grateful for your report on this condition because it is just so completely heart wrenching to watch your child suffer in silence and miss out on so many childhood moments.Hopefully by raising awarenesss this affliction will get more of the attention it so truly desreves so our children can be the shining stars in public that they are at home.

My son has successfully overcome this disorder!!!

I had Selective Mutism (SM) as a child (with hindsight I know this...it was not recognized wayyyy back then! :) I became a school teacher and taught 1st and 2nd grade and had a student with SM (it was called Elective Mutism back then) and that's how I first learned about the disorder. I have 3 little boys (now ages 8, 7, and 6) and have been a stay at home mom since having them. While home, I have completed an MS in Early Childhood Education and used every opportunity I could during my graduate studies to delve further into the topic of SM. My son, Jeff, was a chatterbox and as silly as any other child in some situations. But in other situations he would freeze up and have a blank expression on his face and would not speak or interact. His pediatrician told me he was shy and would outgrow it. The public school pre-K screening person told me, "He doesn't have Selective Mutism. He spoke just fine to ME when I tested him." People told me I was being overly dramatic since Jeff's ability to talk was fine at times...even sometimes when you would not EXPECT a shy child to talk. For example, he would sometimes yell out, "Hey buddy!" to a complete stranger at the grocery store. Yet he would not speak to the next door neighbors who he had seen every day of his life. He might play with other kids sometimes...but isolate himself at other times. It did not SEEM consistent. But it WAS. It was because the times he would speak were situations in which he knew he was not likely to have to engage in a conversation.Jeff would play with other kids at times when he was comfortable...but when he wasn't talking, I could pinpoint why! It was always because there was another factor such as one of the neighborhood parents was suddenly within earshot and so he could no longer speak. Or he'd play on the playground at McDonalds with his brothers...but if other kids suddenly came in, he would stop playing...because those kids were likely to try to interact with him. I have done research, have been to the SM Int'l conference, have read anything I can get my hands on about the topic, have met with a local support group, and have spoken to other parents of SM kids. I got a lot of support and great ideas from doing this. But I also used my own recollection of how I felt as a child with SM and used this knowledge to make some adjustments to many of the suggestions I got...in a way that I felt would be even more effective. For example, it was often recommended to take my son up to the school before he started kindergarten and have him meet the teacher a few weeks in advance...and see the classroom. This was a good start. But I knew that it was not going to help my son deal with the incredible shock of seeing an elementary school when it was full and in action! So I spent a few hours each week and walked my son through a progression of steps to have him see and experience "school in action" as an observer. It was my own form of desensitization and preparation for him. I also met with the school personnel and spoke with them human to human. I was able to ask them to work with Jeff's special condition the same way a mother might ask a school to keep an eye out for their child who has an allergy to peanuts. I was not asking for a 504 or IEP or special services or special equipment. I was asking them to work with my son based on his particular make-up and they were AMAZING!!!!!! Consequently, I have put together a presentation that is appropriate for schools (such as in-service or staff development) to help them understand what the disorder is and isn't...and to give some simple suggestions for helping these children function in the school setting. I share the strategies and techniques I used with my son...and offer some ideas for classroom teachers to use as well.Since I used to teach school, I am completely aware of the limited funds schools have for training and supplemental programs. Many of the resources available for spreading awareness about SM are simply cost-prohibitive for schools to offer their staff. The workshops are often long distances away or cost way more than a school can afford to pay to have a speaker come to their campus. That is what has driven me to develop my presentation and to make myself available to speak to smaller audiences and for reasonable rates...so that hopefully I can help spread awareness and help some other children have the same success I have watched my son, Jeff, experience.Yes, I am available to speak anywhere in the country. I live in Houston, Texas. Please feel free to email if you think I can help. This disorder NEEDS to be better understood. These children CAN overcome this and they will be so happy if you help them do so!!!! annsconsulting@yahoo.com

My daughter is 10 years old and we were when she was 3 that she was a selective mute. She did speak in the household then at the age of 6 that stopped.As she gets older speaking is becoming a social problem but to meet her you would never know she doesn't talk she has such a strong and funny personality.

My daughter is now 7.  I remember as an infant, she would cling to us at all social functions.  As she got a little older, I remember how whenever we had to go to a social event, she would be very irritable and have terrible tantrums a day leading up to the event.  At these family visits or social events, my daughter would cling to us during her typical one hour warm up period.  After an hour, she would try to take part in things, but wouldn't speak to anyone except her immediate family and always in a whisper voice when people were around.  In preschool, she continued to be "very shy" and would only interact with one best friend (always whispering to her).  Last year her Kindergarten teacher expressed a concern about her inability to talk in class.  My daugher would talk to 1 or 2 best friends that were seated next to her.  Show and tell days would provoke such anxiety.  She would have tantrums the day before show and tell day and then worry for days after about her presentation in front of the class.  A caring friend of mine finally brought "Selective Mutism" to my attention and we were able to find a doctor specializing in SM at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.  My daughter was diagnosed with Social Anxiety and Selective Mutism.  We spent time with a psychologist that specialized in SM, but with my daughter's anxiety, we couldn't get anywhere.  After trying for a while and with the doctors' recommendations, we decided to try her on prozac.  We noticed very positive results within a few weeks.  For the first time, she was happy and herself outside of our home.  Our family, friends, and neighbors couldn't believe the difference!  We were so happy that everyone could now get to see the real "her" - sweet, happy, and caring.  We were then able to make some progress with the psychologist and learn wonderful reinforcement techniques that have really helped her with the SM in social situations (school included).  She is now comfortable speaking to everyone in her First Grade class - the teacher and teacher's aid included.  Show and tell is actually fun for her now.  She's now interested in going to birthday parties and actually wanted a birthday party this year!

I am thrilled that Selective Mutism is getting the attention it deserves!  Thank you!

My daughter was diagnosed in Kindergarten.  She is in 2nd grade now.  All through pre-school we thought she was just shy.  When she couldn't talk to her Kindergarten teacher or her classmates, I knew right away it was something other than shyness. I searched the internet and found "selective mustism".  It helped knowing what the problem was.  We took her to a therapist, whom she never spoke to, and eventually put her on medication.  She began to make progress, and is doing so much better now.  She began talking softly to her 1st grade teacher toward the end of the school year.  I am so proud of her progress and so relieved.  She can now ask to go the restroom if she needs to.  I am a room mom, and once walked into the first grade classroom to find her crying.  She was at a table in the room in which her back was to the teacher.  The teacher could not see her face, which was the only way she communicated.  She had to use the restroom, but couldn't ask.  She is such a rule follower, and would never get out of her seat, to go to the teacher, because that was not allowed.  I am so glad I was there to witness this event, because it made me realize I had to take action.  I asked the teacher to move her seat.  It was imperative that she could see her face.  I gave literature to the principals and all of her teachers.  I communicated with everyone, and let everyone know that I was on top of this.  We had several issues at the school in the beginning, but luckily everything is o.k. now.  I wish the best to anyone dealing with this disorder.  It's a prison for the child, and it's heartbreaking for the parent.  It can get better, however.

I am from the UK and have helped set up a new website for the Selective Mutism Information and research Association;SMIRA. It is much needed support group for parents and professionals.  
http://www.selectivemutism.co.uk/
The site launch is early in March and we hope that it will help raise awareness over here in the UK of SM.
Personally I have experienced a lot of negative reaction from my daughters teacher which implies my little girl of 8 years old is controlling, manipulative and rude. Please keep up your great work getting our children heard.

I was diagnosed with SM many years ago, and am now in my 3rd year of college and doing just fine. The 8 years of therapy with a therapist who knew nothing about it didn't help, but in the last 3 years, since I stopped going to her, I've made huge improvements. SM isn't easy to deal with but it's also not the end of the world. I didn't say one word in school from pre-k to my last day of high school. Since graduating high school I've given a speech in front of about 100 people, I've been interviewed for the newspaper about videos I made for the SPCA where I work, I've given several presentations for classes, I've made hundreds or thousands of phone calls about dog stuff at the SPCA, etc. So to all the parents who worry about their kids, it can turn out ok! Some kids need the proper help, which I didn't have, but I still managed to deal with it. I've made a webpage all about it, if anyone is interested: http://mysm7.tripod.com/ . My life is now devoted to raising awareness and making sure no one else has to go through what I did, and I'm very open and willing to talk about my SM with anyone willing to listen!

My Daughter is now 9 years old. She was diagnosed with s/m in kindergaten. I am so glad the teachers in preschool recognized the problem right away. THey previously had a boy with s/m. I got her evaluated and got her help in with school, phycologist and myself. It took 2 1/2 years she is now in 3rd grade and is declassified. She talks to all her friends and almost all the parents. It takes alot of patience interation and many diffent stratagies, phycologists,speech teacher and parent working together as a team. We were able to get her out of it but many children are older when diagnosed and it is harder for them. Please, notice all the signs if your child does not talk outside the house it is a problem not shyness.  My daughter spoke to absolutely no one outside the family. Not kids she was friends nor teachers she loved, could not even talk to her sister in front of people. It took alot of courage for her and persistance with us. But it was worth all of it!!!!!!!! Don't give up there is hope and help for these children. Early diagnosis is best. Please recognize the signs.

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