I was so interested to see this story.  I am a Kindergarten Teacher with an advanced degree in Special education.  I have known of other students dealing with this disorder but until this year have never had a student in my own classroom.  It is a very interesting, challenging and frustrating thing to deal with for the child, parents and educators.  We all are struggling to find ways to reduce this child's anxiety so he will make attempts to communicate with us.  At this point he will rarely attempt nonverbal communication such as gesturing which makes it very difficult to assess what he is learning or what he needs.  

I have a 16 year old who has this condition. We first noticed it when she was 2yrs old. At home she talks nonstop, tells jokes, a joy to be around. In public she rarely speaks. She is a "A" student taking avanced placement classes in school. When we first noticed her condition she would not speak to strangers at all. Now at 16 she will answer her teachers, her pastor, and speak one word maybe two word sentences to her friends. And she interacts with others with jestures and smiles.

HI!
My daughter is 8 years old and we didn't know about "selective mutism" until about 2 years ago. Her pedi just kept telling us she is shy and will grow out of it. She only talks to a handful of people. At home she just a normal 8 year old. In public, at school, she looks like a normal kid, playing with other kids, laughing, having a good ole' time except she doesn't speak to them...no sound at all. We finally saw a show on tv about selective mutism that described her perfectly. Right away, I brought her in to her doctor and told him this is what's wrong w/ my daughter get her help now! She has been in therapy for some time now and is on Prozac. She has come a long way, she is now "mouthing" words to her teachers and is whispering to a friend she never talked to before. She still has a long way to go, it is a long process which is why, if this is a concern to you, get help right away!!! I still think that if this disorder was talked about more, she would've gotten help in preschool and she'd be talking by now. YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR CHILD THINKING HE OR SHE WILL GROW OUT OF IT...THEY WON'T..PLEASE GET A THERAPIST AS SOON AS YOU CAN..THEY WILL ONLY BENEFIT FROM IT!!

My daughter was diagnosed with selective mutism a few years ago. Looking back, having learned about selective mutism, I see signs of it early on. From early on she would wait until she was comfortable with people before she would talk to them. After her father died when she was 4 years old she went silent for over a year and a half. She was silent in Kindergarten and first grade. She spoke to me (her mother), her sister, and her brother-in-law. That's all. She was actually a wonder with words, in private. It broke my heart to see her pain. It was obvious to me that she desperately wanted to talk to others, but couldn't. People didn't understand even when I tried to explain it. Well meaning friends accused her of being rude, which only added to my daughter's anxiety. She was seeing a therapist for play therapy, and she enjoyed the interaction, as she enjoyed interaction with people in general, but she was not making any progress. After more than a year and a half of silence, her grown sister found a way to help her. It was Christmas vacation, and my young daughter was spending a few days with her older sister and her family. Some friends (that my youngest knew) came over and everyone started playing the word game Taboo! My oldest daughter suggested a way for her younger sister to play with everyone: she told her to whisper in their ear "hello," which seemed to break the ice, then they played the game, with my young daughter playing along with no anxiety. Part of her anxiety had to do with her not wanting people to say, "You talked!" By playing the game, her friends were busy trying to guess the right word and didn't comment when she spoke. After playing the game, my daughter would feel comfortable talking to the people she played with. We started playing the game with everyone we knew, and before long, she didn't know who she'd played with and who she didn't, and she was talking to everyone! Today she is a very chatty 12 year old girl. No one would know she ever had a problem. She still gets quiet when she is upset, but she has no problem participating in school, she is active in choir, drama club, and media club at schol. She's an awesome girl and I marvel at her!

My daughter was diagnosed with selective mutism when she  was she was three.  On Friday Feb. 15 she will be 13 years old.  We've have had quite a road with this.  I have much to offer on this subject.  I will give it briefly but I can give even more helpful info if someone chooses to contact me.

Basically, she was diagnosed the same way Jacob was but she was in preschool.  I remember taking video tape into many teachers and school staff so they could see what a wonderful and happy child she was at home.  They couldn't believe it.  I would even video tape her reading at home so the teachers could evaluate her reading abilities since she couldn't at school.  We were able to find a psychiatrist who had treated this disorder in the past.  The most successful medication is an anti-depressant.  It was extremely difficult to put my small child on a medication like this but it worked.  She began to whisper to her teacher only in Kindergarten and in 2nd grade spoke out loud for the first time at school. We tried very hard not to pressure her but encourage her and reward her.  This wasn't about choosing not to talk - she couldn't.  This is classified as a severe anxiety disorder.  She has made much progress over the years.  There was a time, she was in ballet and would perform on stage (of course talking wasn't part of that) but she still got up in front of people and performed.  She also played soccer and did well.  Later in school (around 5th grade) she started to actually raise her hand and fully participate in classroom discussion.  She was and still is behind socially.  Is she cured?  No.  For my daughter, the anxiety simply took on other forms.  She still deals with this everyday.  Talking isn't as much of a problem but she still has severe anxiety.  She worries about everything.  She just had chair challenges in her 7th grade band class, she got so nervous that her fingers were shaking so bad she could not play her flute.  She then went into the bathroom and vomited.  That has been another issue for her.  In first grade, she was diagnosed with anxiety induced stomach problems.  If she worries too much, she gets very sick and sometimes vomits.  She has been hospitalized many times for this because she cannot reverse the affects and then becomes dehydrated and has to have IV's and on occasion has to be given a muscle relaxer to force the anxiety to be calmer.  It becomes a domino effect. She is a great girl with many accomplishments.  She knows she has this and tries to overcome the obstacles she faces.  The doctor on your show talked about not tracking some of these kids and knowing older kids with this to know if this goes away or gets better.  I obviously have much to offer on this and would love to help others.  Would it be helpful to do a story on an older child and give some of these parents some hope that at least the mutism part of this disorder can get better?  Let me know if we can help.  There is very little awareness on this.  The schools MUST handle this correctly or they can make it worse.  We worked closely with schools and we still do in 7th grade.  When my daughter was newly diagnosed with this, Barbara Walters with 20/20 did a story on this and interviewed a young teenage girl.  It was very helpful for us.  I still have the video tape of that and took it to schools to help educate the people who were caring for her at school.
Thank you for doing this story again.  I haven't seen coverage on it in 10 years.  Again, would love to help these parents with little hope.  Especially if any of them are dealing with GI problems as a result and don't know it is the anxiety.  It took more than 2 years to find that out for us.
Thanks.

My 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with Selective Mutism at age 3 when she was unable to speak or communicate in her preschool class.  Since she spoke non-stop at home, we knew something was not right.  I searched "does not talk in preschool" on the internet and found out about SM.  We took her to the national expert - Dr. Elisa Shipon-Blum in Jenkintown, PA - who guided us through the steps of helping her first to engage others, and then gradually become able to communicate nonverbally and then verbally.  We also used a small dose of prozac which reduced her anxiety enough that she could try communicating. It was a long road of worry and a lot of work, but it paid off.  Now in kindergarten, my daughter is no longer mute.  She is fully communicative, well-liked by her peers and enjoying life.  If you have a child with SM, do not push your child to talk. Get help from a professional. Each child is different and needs an individualized approach. These kids are so easily misunderstood that they can get labeled defiant, stubborn and worse by teachers, family and friends.

I just watch this on TV, my daughter is 9, she had this condition for 5years, till she turn 8 y.o. We did everything possible to help her, took her to children' phycologist, bring teacher home, record videos, talk about that all the time. Nothing help, we new she wants to talk and she was ready to talk, it just she needs to be comfortable. We sell our house, move to different area, change schools, first day in a new school I was so nerves, we walk in to the class room and new teaches says, what is you name, I was going to answer for my daughter, like I usually do, but my daughter say very calm, "Sasha". Than teacher say you can go and since this day my daughter never has this problem again.
Just want to write this for a parents of a boy on TV. I know he will grow out of his problem, I see him and it EXACTLY what my girl did, it like I went over this again, I want to cry watching this boy.I know he needs a change but very positive, comfortable change, I know    it will be the best for him to talk with everyone with out worry.

I suffered from selective mutism when I was a young child.  I remember only talking to my parents at home, and then when I was around anyone else, I would not say a word.  Not even to my grandparents.  I went through preschool, kindergarten, and part of first grade not speaking.  This was in the middle 1970's. At that time I don't think we knew it had a name.  All I remember is being filled with anxiety.  One day in first grade I was called to the front of the class to read what was on the board, and I just started reading it. I don't know why I started talking when I did, but from then on, I spoke to people.  I am now in my late 30's. I am still very shy, but doing much better, because I have put myself in situations where I have to communicate, like my job.  Thanks for listening.  

I too have a teen who was diagnosed in the 4th grade with SM. We have been down the bumpy road as well. Her Kindergarten teacher all but accused us of abusing her. I had done much research before I ran across Dr. Shipon-Blum. After an in depth assessment with her we came to the diagnosis. Molly started using Prozac at that time and also had put in force an IEP at the school. Please get the information to the teachers if your child has this anxiety. Molly still takes the Prozac and we have since moved. The amazing outcome is that when we moved she began to talk to anyone who did not previously know that she has this anxiety. She still won't talk to any relatives outside the home, but other than that no one would ever know she has a problem. My main peice of advice, please don't let anyone try to "force" your child to speak. That makes things much, much  worse. I would be happy to speak with anyone who would like to know more.

Our daughter Sasha was diagnosed with selective mutism in preschool, and was typical for that case. Talking at home, but quiet at school. No talking with freinds, teachers, or anyone. She even stopped talking to the Grandparents and other family. We eventually got her to a phychiatrist who  she was able to talk with, and he gave us our first bit of good help. We were against getting her on medication unless there was no other choice, and the doctor agreed. instead he was able to teach her coping skills for anxiety that she was able to understand at her age (6 then).
With this in hand she started to show signs of improvement. She first started opening up at Gymnastics classes, talkuing with coaches and kids there. Then she began opening up with family again, and finally, we moved across town, to a new school and she had her big breakthrough. Here is what I wroth about that at the time:

"Along with our move, my daughter started at a new school. We have been pretty nervous about this, as she has Selective Mutism. The short form of that is that it is an anxiety disorder that means that she cannot speak in some situations. Specifically, she is in second grade, but has not spoken a single word at school since preschool. Not. One. Word.

She talks fine everywhere else, but it is a situational disorder.

So when we filled out the paperwork for the new school, we added all the information about this and explained to the teacher what to expect. On her first day, we walked her in and introduced her to her teacher. Her teacher looked at her, smiled, and asked her her name.

She replied, "Sasha"

That was the first word she had ever spoken at school. I almost cried. She kept answering the teacher's questions while we were there. After we left, she was talking to the kids in class, and after class.

We had visited psychologists for months to help her with coping skills, and t see what to do, but changing the environment was the breakthrough. You begin to think a situation is hopless, until something gives you hope. In this case, it came to us because of other actions."

We can't be sure that those kind of skills and environment changes work for everyone, but it worked well for her, and us.

My child was diagnosed with selective mutism.  There is many things I wished you would have stated.  Most children who have selective mutism are smarter then their  colleges the same age.  When their speech locks up they can become like they are on a tall building.  They want to scream but nothing comes out.   Every day is stressful to go to school with a stomach ache.  They get sweaty palms and may shake.  
With care they learn to overcome it.  Without knowledge they are harrased by teachers and pupils.  I am lucky to have such a good school who works with us.  I was lucky to find out when she was in Kindergarden to make progress by 2nd grade.  My child is top of her class earning highest grades except in communications.  Her reading levels are higher then her fellow students.   She is a science wizz earning top marks on the science fair.  They really think differently and are so aware of their surroundings they notice every detail.

Our granddaughter (we have raised since birth) will be 20 years old on Feb. 18th, she too has had a long struggle with this condition and until 3 years undiagnosed. She repeated kindergarten because she hid under the table the whole first time (the teacher only "mentioned" it to me in April of that school year!!). She has had a many challenges due to her birth circumstances but what we now wonder what was her true  diagnosis? She suffers such severe anxiety disorder. We worry that she will never be able to function well enough to be self-sufficient. We are now in our late 60's and worry what will happen to her. She is such a talented young woman but not able to follow through on a job or school (although now in community college, she is much more successful, taking one class at a time, than she has been at anything). She has had many problems with relationships.  She gives her whole heart to her boyfriends but feels she cannot relate to other girls, she finally has one girlfriend she can hang out with once in a while. We are hopeful she will find her place in this world and that the world will appreciate this beautiful and really interesting young woman.

My 7 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with SM when she started preschool at 4 years old.  She would not talk to anyone in class, including the teachers.  Before starting school, we noticed she was shy with strangers away from her home.  When we ran into children she knew away from home, she would "freeze".  She was always comfortable, animated and talkative at home or at her grandparents' homes. When she started Kindergarten and still wouldn't talk in class, the doctors wanted to put her on medication.  It was frustrating because we knew that she was incredibly intelligent, but the school didn't know that because she wouldn't communicate.  As her grandmother, I wanted her to get the medication, as I hated to see her suffer like that.  However, my son, her father, insisted that she could work her way out of it.  Sure enough, she is in the second semester of first grade now and is talking in class like any first grader...raises her hand to volunteer to answer questions in front of the class, plays with other students..."normal."  When she was in kindergarten, she had many IEPs, which allowed trained professionals to work with her one-on-one.  She also attended summer school.  She is down to one-half hour a week being pulled out of the classroom now.  My granddaughter did a lot of it on her own....she is always very determined to conquer her fears.  I'm very proud of her and how far she has come. I'm also happy that she did it without medication.  The first step...diagnosis.  Good luck to everyone who has a child with this disorder.  It can be corrected.

I am certain my 16 year old son has this "disorder". He is like two different people. At home completely normal, but in social situations and at school the kid is lost. He has it all, very funny, fabulous looking, athletically gifted in numerous sports, very bright with all A's and couple of B's thrown in. Doesn't drink or do drugs.  Yet he would sooner die than go to a dance, or a school game, etc. He is so shy he can't even talk to his aunts/uncles & cousins at holiday gatherings without extreme effort. It kills his father and me to watch him struggle so. We only have a year and a half and he will be going to college. His pediatrician said he would "grow out of it", so do past shy friends of mine, while in some ways he seems better, he is still very far from having the social skills to even handle a job or college entrance interview. Then other well intentioned people tell me he needs therapy or medication. The thought of putting him on medication really scares me due to possible side effects. He is missing what is supposed to be the best carefree years of his life. I welcome all ideas.

I have a six year old son who was diagnosed with seperation anxiety disorder and selective mutism in November of last year.  The therapist really didn't have anything in the way of a treatment plan.  So we had her refer us to a behavior specialist.  This just happened last week within 15 miutes she said she wanted to set him up with an autism consult.  I finally feel we are on the right path.  As we are getting started is there anything that you other parents have learned that could benefit us.

My daughter is 9 years and has selective mutism. The story shown this morning was the exact image of where she was at 7 years old. Two years ago, we moved and changed school and she started talking. I remember her saying "well nobody knows me at the new school, I will talk". She is still an anxious child but at least we have progressed forward and she now speaks in front of her classroom. This is for us an amazing accomplishment. There is still a lot of work to be done but I am staying positive,I will work on helping my child feel less anxious,it is an ever going process.

I was so stunned to see this story on the Today show this morning.  For years I dealt with a school system and court system that instead of trying to find the answers to my daughter's problem, accused me of 'abusing' her.  Although there was never any evidence to this otherwise, they assumed that because of her appearance of 'being scared' that it must be out of fear from her parents. Note that I have three other children and NONE of them display any social disorders at all.  They are all quite the opposite. I went through an awful divorce a few years back and although my husband had witnessed our daughter going through the same characteristics as mentioned in the piece, and my advocacy for a clear diagnosis-he used the school's opinion in order to gain custody of her and the other children.  He has since fled with them to the other coast and unfortunately my daughter will not get the help she needs for this disorder as long as he retains custody.  I hope that no one else has to go through what I and my children have.  This illness just like many others is misunderstood and not well publicized.  More education is needed on the school and social work levels on this topic.  

Yes, selective mutism is more common than we have previously thought!  I am a music therapist working in rural Western Kansas, and I have firsthand been witness to the positive and QUICK success that Music Therapy can have with this disorder!  Music can reach these children  and increase their comfort level when nothing else can!  I am definitely biased, but I would recommend a Music Therapist (go to musictherapy.org) to work with your child.  Thanks!

Boy this sounds like me when I was growing up!  I am in my late 30's and have suffered from extreme shyness, insecurity and anxiety most of my early life, studied child psychology in college and have been working on my shyness since then.  I have always been very quiet when first meeting others, until I felt comfortable, including when we visited other family menbers.  There were some times when groups of acquaintences would ask me if I ever spoke at all.  While others one-on-one would make me at ease, and I could be myself.  I hated dating, being interviewed tormented me. Today, I have a flirtacious and silly disposition with close friends.  However, I continue to avoid speaking or appearing in large groups, but am finally confident in smaller groups.  Please let me know if I can participate in a psychological study, so I can help the young children suffering from this today.  I have often wanted to write a book on the subject.

My daughter now 9, was diagnosed when she was 5. It was a very frustrating thing for us as parents to watch her, when people would talk to her or ask her questions you could just see in her face how uncomfortable she was. At parties we would eat cake in a seperate room from the other kids. She would talk at home freely with her sister, mom and dad but as soon as someone else came into the home she was  silent. When she started kindergarten is when i realized this was more then shyness, She was twirling her hair all the time, biting her nails till they bled. At that point i had her evaluated and the diagnosis was Selective Mutism. Life has been difficult especially when she has to be treated by a new doctor, they'll ask her where the pain is or whatever and there is no response. I have felt very helpless, not knowing what to do to help this poor child. Over time we have gotten her involved in different activities in which she would have contact with others and slowly she has come out, Teachers still say how extremely quiet she is but she now has friendships and i am hoping she will just continue to improve. It would be more helpful if more people knew and understood the condition so i thank you for airing this.  

I have 2 children that were diagnosed around the age of 5.  My daughter was in her third year of preschool when her teacher suggested she be evauluated for something called Selective Mutism.  Her father and I just thought she was really shy because we both were as kids.  She was chatty and silly at home but outside of our home, even with her best friends and grandparents, there was no eye contact - she looked down at the floor and would never speak a word...not even to me, if someone else was watching.  It was obvious that she wanted so desperately to do things like playing with her peers and show and tell at school but just couldn't and didn't know why.  She would tape record her show and tell item at home and have her teacher push play, while she stood outside the classroom.  She would stand by herself in a corner at recess - it was heartbreaking.  We set up an appointment with a psychiatrist and she was put on Lexapro for anxiety.  Within the next couple of weeks, although she was still using the recorder, she was comfortable enough to stay IN the room during show and tell.  Approximately 4 weeks later the door burst open at the end of the preschool day and all of the kids ran out screaming "Jordyn talked today!"  It was amazing!  Both my children, who are now 9 and 7 are still on the quiet side at school (that's not a bad thing) but are leading normal, happy lives like all children should.

My daughter, Marisa, was diagnosed with SM at age four, although we noticed symptoms of anxiety from infancy. By the time she could talk, she would not speak to anyone outside our house, including some relatives. Marisa is now 10 years old...and this has been a long road for the entire family. She has come so far with much help from her doctor, our family, and medication. She is still very reserved, but has a lot of friends and will now actually raise her hand in school to answer a question. It has taken a lot of understanding with the school and our family to help Marisa find a comfortable level to live in. She now excels in school, plays sport and enjoys taking clarinet lessons. We still struggle on some days with various issues...but they all seem to come back to one common thread...being comfortable. Thank you for bringing Selective Mutism out for others to understand. I still have many people who insist my daughter is just shy...they have no idea...and it becomes even harder now that she does speak. People think she is 'cured'...they do not realize that she is still taking medication to help her with anxiety issues and that she still struggles every day with this. We are very confident that she will continue to feel more and more comfortable each day.

Thank you so much for this story. I can't thank the Hanna's enough for telling their story.  My 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with selective mutism about a two months ago.  When she began preschool she whisphered quietly to one friend in class; she didn't speak with anyone else while at school.  Her teacher asked me several times whether she spoke at home.  I told the teacher that she spoke normally at home and normally with a many kids on our block.  Still, as I watched my daughter in school, I new something was different.  I was shy and my oldest is little shy, so I wasn't at all surprised that my daughter was quiet, but it was more than that.  She had this froozen look at school that I had never seen at home. She looked scared. Even before I knew about selective mutism, I often said that when my daughter is comfortable, she talks alot--just help her feel comfortable.  For some reason, my daughter's preschool teacher felt my daughter should be talking. Sometime last March, she pointly questioned her about a picture she had drawn to the extent my daughter cried and then clenched her fists.  The teacher then asked if my daughter often got angry at home.  She doesn't.  My daughter is now in pre-K and at a different school.  She has not spoken a word in school since the day she was so inapproprialy pushed to talk. I had heard someone in the neighborhood talk and a boy in a nearby school who didn't speak in school and she used the term selective mutism. After silent two months in pre-k, I sought out a therapist with a speciality in seclective mutism.   Most parents, teachers, and social workers, do not know about selectism mustism and seem to have a hard time understanding it when I try to explain.  My daughter is very bright, happy child, she loves to socialize with her neighborhood friends, loves her many activities outside of school, and she gets up on the stage for ballet and violin recitals and enjoys it. She talks and talks at home and many other places.  She just can't yet talk in certain situations-- mainly school. We now have a wonderful caring teacher who understands. ( She is the one who heard you were doing a story on sm).  I am confident my daughter can overcome her anxiety. It was very helpful to read the comments by other families I wish there was a forum so that we could tallk more with eachother. Again, thank you so very much for educating people about selective mutism.  

Our grandson, now 9 years old, has never spoken to a teacher or another student.  Talks only to parents and grandparents.  Within the last year has spoken to aunts, uncles and cousins.  The schools are not understanding at all and this year my daughter-in-law has kept him home to school him.  He is such an intelligent child - practically memorizes everything he reads.  We only hope that things get better.

Like the previous post from Rachel Hansen, I too suffered from this as a child. I was very shy from the beginning, but the silence--except around my immedidate family and one neighbor child--came from a snowball effect of anxiety. I remember thinking that I really wanted to talk but if I did everyone would notice and make a big deal out of it. It was really just easier to be silent and go with the status quo rather than have a barrage of attention from suddenly speaking. I did eventually "grow out of it", but only by making a conscious decision to start the 6th grade (yes, Kindergarten through 5th grade--I said NOTHING at school) year fresh and just get it all over with the first day. It was very frightening, but I did it and remember feeling so free... and so proud. I am now almost 40 and still a little shy inside, but I have a career that requires me to be outspoken and I fake it pretty well! :)

I am a speech/language pathologist, and had a student who had selective mutism.  He was in the middle school when I met him.  He never spoke in elementary school, but would speak outside the school.  I had success with specific objectives, and therapy was successful in getting him to communicate at school.  I would be happy to share my techniques with anyone who is interested. Because of confidentialiaty I can not give the students name, but therapy can work!

In 1975, I was in the sixth grade. One of my classmates had a sister in first grade who would not speak or gesture in class. She was very withdrawn, made no eye contact, head down and a protective stance (rounded shoulders). She had good grades, but did not participate in any activities.

Our elementary school started a new program that year. The teachers from the first and sixth grades worked together pairing each sixth grader with a "little sister" or "little brother" from the first grade.

We worked together with our "assigned sibling" every Friday afternoon on an activity. Writing an essay, reading to each other, crafts etc. Some weeks we would meet in the sixth grader's classroom, sometimes the first grader's classroom, sometimes we worked scattered on the floor in hallways.

Since I spent a lot of time with my classmate and her sister at home, I was paired up with Carol. She was very talkative at home. I had no interaction with Carol at school prior to this program, I had no idea she was not talking. The teacher felt that she would be more comfortable with someone she knew outside of school.

I worked one on one with Carol all year. Never making a big deal out of her situation.

The first break I got was the first time I went to her classroom. I had forgotten how short the desks were and rammed my knee into the desk. Carol thought that was very funny and laughed. The first time she had made any sound.

Next we wrote a story together. I got her to nod and shake her head in response to my questions.

After a few months, she began nodding and shaking her head for others and she began whispering in my ear when we were isolated for our peers.

It took most of the school year, but before the year was up, her teacher couldn't shut her up.

I'll always remember Carol and our year together, as this was the first time I truly had a profound impact on someone else's life and future.

Until this morning, I thought Carol was an isolated case. I had no idea that the condition had a name or that there are so many children are affected by this. So to all who are dealing with this personally or know someone who has Selective Mutism, there is hope.

My daughter is 7 and has had similar symptoms.  It's tiring as a parent to hear that it is just shyness when it is clearly more extreme than that.  She is finally speaking in her 2nd grade class but has taken on other symptoms.  She sees a behavioral therapist to learn coping mechanisms for her anxiety.  I found a great book that helped tremendously, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar E. Chansky, PH.D  It is a continuous struggle for her everyday.  As a parent, my main goal is to just help her live a comfortable life.  

My son has suffered with selective mutism since 2nd or 3rd grade, but was only diagnosed in the past few months and he is now in 6th grade.  He is the perfect child at home.  He's very talkative and enjoys video games and being on the computer.  We have never had any kind of discipline problem with him.  He always wants to do the right thing.  I never have to worry about him doing anything he shouldn't.  When we leave home, everything changes.  When he's out with me he hides behind me and if anyone ever speaks to him, whether he knows them or not, you can see the fear take hold.  He looks so frightened and can not speak.  Once in third grade, they called me to the school because they thought he was having a convulsion of some type, but it was his fear and anxiety causing him to shake all over.  Sometimes he will try to scratch himself on his arms and face when he gets really anxious.  He will speak when he feels that he has to at school when the teachers ask him a direct question, but he never speaks to the other kids.  His grades suffer because he's too frightened to ask for directions or help.  We changed to a small christian school this year, hoping that would help, but we really haven't seen a difference.  He doesn't have any friends.  That is so sad to me.  Every child should have a best friend. The doctor has started him on an anti-depressant and therapy.  I hope this will help, I want the world to see the great kid that I know he is.   I kept hoping that he would grow out of this, but it only seems to get worse.  If anyone knows of any other treamtment, I would love to hear about it.

I just want to thank the Today Show for airing this story.  Many people need to be aware of this disorder and be prepared to correctly handle the situation when they meet a child/teenager/adult who is suffering from it. I have a 14 year old daughter with SM.  She was diagnosed in kindergarten.  She had made only 2-3 real friends in her lifetime that she has been able to verbally communicate with.  She still very much struggles to talk to family members outside the home.  She didn't speak in school (and only to the teachers then) until the 6th grade and even then it wasn't consistent and when the other kids noticed she was quiet, they began asking her over and over why she didn't talk until she eventually stopped talking to the teachers again.  She suggested going to a new school so we moved and this helped some.  She is a freshman now and is able to talk to most of her teachers but still no other students.  She will communicate with them via myspace or text messaging and she has explained to some of them why she is so quiet.  She doesn't hate school but does wish that she was able to make friends.  She often claims to be very lonely. She is taking prozac and this seems to be helping a little bit and I am currently looking for a psychologist in our area who is familiar enough with the disorder to put together a behavioral plan. Like many parents, I could go on and on about the trials she and I have gone through.  I hope that the public takes interest in this disorder and helps spread the word so that some of the burden is lifted from the parents who have to continuously educate those who come in contact with thier child.  I started by sending the link to this story to all of my daughters teachers and counselors.  

It has been heartbreaking to read of all these sad, worried children and parents seeking solutions to this problem. I am a Physical Therapist, and I do volunteer work with my Therapy Dog. I have found people--especially children--will speak to a dog rather than to an adult. If some of these children can have a service dog at school, it may help them bridge that social/emotional gap. They have to speak to their dog, and allow that speech to help open a path to normal interaction with their peers. Just a suggestion...

It is so nice to see Selective Mutism getting some attention. My daughter was diagnosed with Selective Mutism at the age of 5 but this was after months of just not knowing what was going on with her. People kept saying she was just shy and would grow out of it but I knew that was not it. I was so happy when I came across information on Selective Mutism and could begin to help her. It took time, therapy and the help of a wonderful teacher for her to become to the world the person she always was with us in private--funny, outgoing, creative and very talkative. She is now 14 and you would never know that she once only spoke to 5 people total because as she said--the words would freeze in her throat. childhoodanxietynetwork.org is a good website with lots of information for those looking for more information on Selective Mutism.

I am 33 years old and I did not speak for 2 years from three to five years of age.  I only spoke to those who lived in the house with me, which was my parents, one sister, and one brother.  I have another brother and sister that I didn’t speak to.  My mom said that she took me to a psychiatrist to try to figure out if there was anything wrong.  She was told to quit talking for me.  I don’t remember a lot of details because I was so young, but I do remember playing with my friends and them begging me to talk to them, and I would just shake my head no.  It never interfered with playing with other kids.  My parents have always been curious about the reasons for me not talking. When I was three, my mom asked me when was I going to start talking to everyone and I told her when I was four, but held off until I was five.  To this day, I still do not like to talk in front of a lot of people.  The thought of giving a speech terrifies me.  

I am the mother of a 19 year old son that at the age of 6 was diagnosed with selective mutism.  He graduated from high school last year, without ever having said a word to his teachers, classmates and friends throughout his years at school.  He managed to play football for six years(2 in middle school and 4 in high school.)  He now attends college and although he is very quiet during class, he is adjusting very well.  He is currently enrolled in the paramedic program, and volunteers his time as an EMT for the local emergency squad, yes, talking on the radio to dispatch, and talking to patients that he treats, and talking to his co workers on the ambulance.  He is my success story, and I am so very proud of him.  

This was me when I was in school!  My first grade teacher told my parents that I would never be a normal student because I was so shy.  I was frequently chastised by my mother for not participating in conversation.  I am now 48 years old and no one would believe that I was so very very afraid and shy.  But inside I still would rather be a fly on the wall than participate in conversations with people I don't know well.  I was amazed to hear this story this morning.  It made me feel like I wasn't such a freak after all!

to the parents on the program with the child with selective autism.I already wrote to the producers hoping this would get to you.I'm a 38 yr old married female.I too suffered the great majority of my life with this disorder until I searched mental health treatment.How I wish I would have received help earlier but unforunately for me I was misdiagnosed with being bioplar until I discribed to my family physican what I was going through he then said I had social anxiety and a bell went on in my head and said that's it.I know currently am on a anti-depressant Paxil and it has helped me greatly.I dont think with my situation congnetive or talk therapy would have been enough but with medication I am able to finally be me.Before yes Id interact with family but social situations with school and work I had great trouble.It will only get worse I dropped out of school and wasn't employable .I relied on drugs and alcohol because they were like courage and all the things i wanted to say but couldnt sober and would say when drunk but I was relying on illegal substances when i could just be on a pill that's not addictive versues i became addicted to drugs.I also would attend meetings and wouldnt be able to talk when it was my turn because I was consumed with worry fear anxiety that Id say something stupid aftert the meeting which they say the meeting after the meeting where they encourage people to stay over talk and get to know people no way to scared Id bolt at the door.I lived in such isolation and wondered why did God make me this way.But know on medicine Im a totally different person now i interact with others i feel a part of instead before outside looking in i can share in meetings and after the meetings i actually introduce myself to others and try to get to know others and allow them to get to know me.im just active in the community.Im pertisipant im not just sitting watching everything go on around me.I really like life.My voice one voice is heard and I want that kid to feel like Im feelI used to have a stigma about taking medicine I  fought it for a long time plus you here people commit that if you were praying harder like you wouldnt need medicine but when you get desperate enough medicine looks like a good alter and now im so glad i chose it i only wish i had sooner.this kid is only 7 early detection proper meds this kid for the majority of his life have a happy one

I am a Speech Pathologist and would like to get in touch with Dottie for techniques and ideas. How can I do this?

I was very happy to hear that this show was being aired.  My daughter, Julia is diagnosed with selective mutism.  We first noticed that she wouldn't talk to anyone outside of my immediate family when she was about three.  Her preschool thought that something horrible had happened to her and that was why she wouldn't talk.  I tried to explain the disorder, but they didn't believe it.  They said they had never heard of anything like that before!  We medicated her when she was four (almost five) because we didn't want the school to diagnose her with a learning disability.  We knew that she didn't have one, but thought because she didn't use any expressive language, they would think that she didn't have any.  Two weeks after being on the medication, she was talking to a couple of her friends at preschool.  We were thrilled.  Now at seven years old, she is talking to almost everyone.  We do have set backs with anxiety every once in a while.  But, it is so comforting to know that she is not as anxious about doing everyday normal things.  I am pretty sure she will be medicated for life, however it is a VERY small price to pay for her own freedoms!  We are so proud of her and her accomplishments.  Amazingly, she is a competitive gymnast.  She has not a fear in the world when she is doing her sport.  It is a wonderful outlet for her and she loves it.  If someone had told me when she was three that she would be doing that, I would have never believed them!  

I am so thankful to NBC and everyone who has written in.  I have never heard of this disorder until now, but my story mimics many of those above, though not quite so profoundly.  My almost 8 year old daughter is delightful, smart, funny...but most have to just take my word for it.  She does have several friends, and will speak to them and sometimes the teacher at school, but in general if another person speaks to her or asks a question, she just turns away.  She would rather not eat than to order something at a reataurant.  When her coach says "Good Game" she cannot even say thanks, and can barely shake her head to answer yes/no questions.  If the family goes to a party, she essentially tattoos herself to me and doesn't speak to anyone, unless there is a child there that she knows very well, and even then they have to leave the room to go play together, and will clam up if an adult comes in to check on them.  I have been so frustrated with this, thinking that it was just shyness or even rudeness, that I have yelled at her and told her she needs to "get over it."  I am realizing that it doesn't seem to be in her control at all.  I'm not sure if this is SM, on the spectrum of SM, or just being painfully shy, but I'm glad to know that she's not alone, and that help is out there.

I come from a family of 5 kids, my youngest brother is 22 and has Down Syndrome. He also has selective mutism. I was reading about Jacob Hanna and his struggles with selective mutism outside the home. My brother Greg has more struggles with selective mutism with my family. His speech is very limited but when he does speak it's usually outside the home at work and with his special needs assistant. It's been difficult to figure out why he doesn't talk when he's with our family, whether it's because he's the youngest and we've pretty much done everything for him or if it's maybe a situation of he doesn't know where to fit into the family dynamics. He is seeing a therapist which has been a great help to him. But if anyone has heard of a similar situation please let me know. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

I am 40 years old; when I was Jacob's age, I shared almost exactly the same "symptoms" as he has, so I suppose I had selective mutism. Back then, they didn't have a name for what I did. I was simply "Annie doesn't talk" when we were out of the house.

I just want to say to all you parents out there to please don't give up hope. I applaud how the Hanna's are handling everything. By encouraging him to get to a comfort level slowly, rather than forcing him to speak or believing that insisting that he speak will work, I think they will find that slowly, as it was with me, he will build up the number of people he speaks with.

I remember so vividly being in the situations where people would expect me to talk and the conversations I had to them in my head. I used to hate when teachers would ask a question and, when they got no reply, would say,"I'm waiting!!!" I remember thinking, even as a 2nd grader, "Well you can wait all day -- do you really think I'm going to answer?"

I actually had to go to speech class because I wouldn't talk (it was the mid-70s), but my patient teacher set small, simple goals for me. Like just saying "hello" to my teacher, then "hello Sister Veronica" (Catholic school!) and so on. Manageable little bites over time.

Don't give up hope!

Thank you so much for running this story.  I have a 3 year old that speaks at home a lot, but not in public.  At school her teachers asked her older brothers if she knew how to talk.  I thought it was due to shyness, I am shy and my oldest is a bit shy.  But I been worried because its February and she is still not talking in school, or in crowded places.  Even when we have parties at home she acts like she doesn't know anybody.  I am glad I got to see this because now I can get her the help she needs.  

My daughter is 17 now, oh the struggles, the heartbreak, the teachers I struggled with who said, why can't she just speak up.  I didn't want it to be common knowledge, I didn't want her singled out and treated like a delicate flower.  Always being the tiniest in any situation put the attention on her already.

There is such hope.  I actually diagnosed my daughter myself after tons of research.  Having a Dad who, after reading the info, confessed that it described him exactly.

I made my own treatment plan, set goals for my daughter each year.  She had no idea.  It starts with a simple "Honey, we know you're uncomfortable, but you have to at least say "please, thank you, yes & no".  We don't want anyone to perceive you as rude in anyway.  That's the start.  I picked her sports very carefully, a sport where she can shine individually but to also experience being part of a team.  Never letting anyone rush her at family events, giving her 30 minutes to get comfortable with the atmosphere. Eliminating any stressors that could come up during the day, like always picking out her clothes, doing her hair, packing her lunch.  One less thing to worry about during the school day.  Taking turns on the phone (after age 8) planning play dates.

I believe always, always step in when you have to including teachers, principals, friends & family.  

I really could go on and on.  At 17 my daughter has lettered in 4 activities, had 2 starring roles in theater in HS, member of NHS, has 2 theater schlolarship opportunities.  Not to mention all the trophies and awards from age 8 to 17.  

Did she struggle.  You betcha.  Did I have to march up to school more than a few times because of insensitive teachers, you betcha.   Our children are misunderstood in so many ways.  I always say I have one girl in this world, and 1 boy, I am their biggest cheerleader and advocate and I pay taxes, we have to send our kids to school and darnit the school system works for me.  I won't tolerate meaness and cruelty from people who don't take the time to first be kind to every child no matter what.

I was never adverse to outside help, but I truly believed I could do the job best.  One thing the kids hate is unwanted attention and being singled out.  My daughter at 10, when it was suggested she see a child psychologist for emotional ticks & other things, said "Mom I just want to be a normal 10 year old girl".  I said of course you are, we'll work on the ticks and whatever else we need to and no one will know.

There's such joy for her and her future.  I'll always be where she needs me, when she needs me and that in itself makes her feel secure and safe.

Katie, Maryland

My son has selective mutism and is 4 years...looking back he had it early on.  We just never knew what it was.  If there is anyone in Ontario, Canada who is interested in finding out more about this, McMaster Hospital-Chedoke campus has an excellent Selective Mutism program run by Dr. Angela McHolm.  Just contact the hospital and ask for the clinic for more information.

Our seven year daughter was diagnosed with Selective Mutism when she was in kindergarten.  She would not speak to the teachers or her classmates, except for one little girl.  That little girl helped her a lot.  Our daughter has had therapy which also has helped tremendously.  We did not want to give our 5 year old medication at all.  So we we worked with her therapist and through stories that he told  and her communicating through us to him, it has helped her come out of her shell.  She has not talked with the teachers at her school, but she now feels comfortable talking to her classmates, her friends' parents and her siblings' friends.  She has even felt comfortable enough . We see barriers that she has overcome and it improves a little at a time.  We are so proud of her.  Each time she speaks or tells us she speaks away from us, we try and let her know how proud of her we are.  We have watched our daughter go from not saying a word to teachers, grandparents and even our friends.......to chatting in up with my best friend, counting down the days till her grandma visits and playing games with kids in the neighborhood and talking with their parents.  Like I tell myself and my husband, we need to be proud of every little step that takes her forward in her challenge.  And let me tell you from a parent who never had a clue that such a disorder existed to someone who has read so much on it, that the best thing a parent can do is be proud of them for all the little steps they take.  I don't look back, I don't wish for anything different, she is a remarkable girl.  She has acknowledged her challenge of being shy and afraid that she even speaks about to her friends.  Which is a big step in itself.  

In 1977 I began to teach first grade children.  On the first day, the children told me that one student I'll call Nash did not talk.  I already knew this, of course, as Nash was repeating first grade because he had not talked in Kindergarten or first grade grade the previous year.  However, I told the children that we knew that Nash could talk and did talk at home.  I made it a point that we would never say Nash couldn't talk.  Nash was a pleasant, sweet child with a lovely smile.  He was the middle child in a family of three sons and his brothers often did the talking for him.  In the dark ages of 1977 this condition was called elective aphasia and there was very little information on the subject.  I was able to obtain a teaching kit from the telephone company that taught children how to use the telephone correctly.  We used this in the classroom nearly everyday and Nash eventually took his turn answering the phone.  I also phoned Nash at home and asked him various questions regarding the school day and asked him to do little jobs for me (i.e., sharpen pencils, etc.)  I also asked the other students to phone him and eventually, very gradually, Nash began to utter a word or two to his friends in the classroom  I asked Nash's mom to tape his oral reading at home and to send the tapes to school where we would listen to Nash reading aloud.  Then I began to tape the children reading in the classroom, and  gradually, without forcing, Nash began to read a sentence or two.  It was a year long project to get Nash to interact comfortably with the children and with me, but by May he was speaking more or less normally.  I will say that I made sure the classroom was a happy, warm place and that all the children received positive reinforcemnt for their good work.  Today Nash is a firefighter and has lived a normal life.  I am glad the Today show is bringing this condition to light to help parents and teachers.

My daughter is 10 years old.  It took us two years to find help for her (she was selectively mute) and it was very difficult to find anyone who was familiar with this disorder.  After two years of treatment with a social work and a child psychiatrist and anti-anxiety medicine.  She finally spoke for the first time in school this past November.  All I can say is you must be PERSISTENT.  It took a long time, but all out persistance has paid off!!! Don't ever give up hope!!!!!

I've read many comments from people who have children with selective mutism.  However, I suffered from this myself when I was a child, there just wasn't a name for it then. His story was so like my own it's scary. I hope Jacob's parents read this because I want them to know that there is hope for Jacob, just give him time.  I, too would only talk at home, and only to my parents and siblings and cousins who were near my own age.  The more fuss everyone made over my not talking the further I drew into my shell.  So, to hear the report say he is "bizarre" hurts me.  Please let Jacob know he is not bizarre.  In my case I eventually opened up to one friend at school.  Once I felt I gained her trust I opened up to another, etc, in my own time.  The more I was pushed the tigher lipped I became.  I was lucky to have kind hearted teachers who got me through the first two years of school.  By the time I made it to third grade I would speak to my teachers and my other friends, but I still had a hard time with strangers and non-family members for a few more years.  And, please do not make a big deal out of it when Jacob does decide it's time to talk - which he will!!  Just act like he's been talking all along.  It will get better!!

Wow! It sounds like I could have written all of the above comments! My son is anxious and has SM which has been improving this year after being paired with a friend to have in his classroom. Having an IEP really helps to make the teachers aware of how to make his learning environment more comfortable.  One of the best things I have learned is that MY anxiety was a contributing factor. I thought that by always "preparing him" for what we were going to do would help ease his anxiety, it was having the opposite effect.  When I starting changing my behavior to not focus on him not talking, and to be more positive and upbeat, I noticed a change in him.  I was putting so much energy into his struggles that I was making it worse. I'm not in denial, I know he still struggles, yet I'm trying to change his thinking into a more positive direction when I can. Physical exercise is SO important for him and me to keep our anxiety low. He's the happiest kid in the world when he's jumping on a trampoline in the OT room at school!  

GOOD REPORT THIS MORNING HOWEVER ;Although you defined Selective Mutism.Your program had the wrong expert in the studio.Interviewing a man who obviously does not have the track record for successful treatment that DR Elisa Shionblum has .She has cured hundreds and has a 100% success rate. Why? Because she has dedicated her life to this cause and is the foremost expert in the field .She has literally defined the problem and solutions yet the program just flashed her face for 3 second .How unfair

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