I thought Paul was very articulate, well spoken, non confrontational, intelligent and honest.  Hard to find those qualities in a man.  Mereidth and the Dr. interviewing him appeared inadequate compared to his candid and honest response.

Please know that all women, single or otherwise, are not "putty" in men's hands.  Paul has every right to be a Casanova, scoundrel, playboy, etc.  It is every woman’s responsibility to stay on top of her personal relationships and to stay in "check". If Paul purposely pursues vulnerable women, that is a different situation, but from his interview, I didn't take him to do that.  I am not sure he would even give two thoughts to the woman's state of mind.

I do not think Paul has an addiction, and I thought Natalie and the Dr. were condescending and rude.  If the man does not want to get married why must we say there is something wrong with him.  Monogamy, marriage and family is not for everyone.  As a women I do not want any of those things.  I get much support from both men and women for this. However, when a man is like this he is a sex addict.  What a closed minded view in this day and age.

The Today Show can possibly spearhead the effort to bring a mental illness known as NPD into the foreground.  Narcissistic Personality Disorder disorder was recognized long ago, but only recently has become rampant in this generation. Grandiosity is the diagnostic hallmark of pathological narcissism

I'm a man, but I'd say that woman find this guy attractive because he's good looking, "hip," intelligent, and ivy-leagued educated.  He's also polite and a good listener.

I agree with Annette from Denver, the primary interviewer was trying to led Paul with questions that she had no clue about what she was asking. Now to my attidional comments. I don't know where people get their information from. There are women who do not mind telling you they are freaks, most are but won't tell you up front.  If you want to get an indicator of women dating behavior, log on the match.com pick out any woman and you will see that most of the women on that site are homesteaders.  They have determined that that site have given them an opportunity to meet a lot of different men, not to settle down with, but to date.

He is still young enough to play that kind of a game and I'm sure there are women like this too. By the time he is a father, I'm curious on how he will want his daughter to be treated and if it's the same disregard. When a person has respect for themselves they don't give it away so easily, no matter how inteligent or beautiful they are.  

Oh, grow up!!  It is not a wonder why women are attracted to this man.  Look at him.  Listen to him speak.  He's great looking, interesting job, intelligent, confident.  Why should all men be out shopping for a bride??  This is not 1950.  I would have thought that your intereviewers would be slightly more enlightened than to blame his "serial dating" on having divorced parents. Come on! It seems that he is honest with himself and with the women he dates, (and hopefully practicing some very SAFE sex!) so maybe his answers just aren't what some women want to hear.  Doesn't seem like the villain you may try to make him out to be.

This man is arrogant, selfish and irresponsible.  It is a mystery to me that  any woman would find him attractive.

Paul was very up front and honest...better that than a man who uses women and then dumps them or never calls them again.If he is being straight forward with a woman , then she can decide for herself what she wants. I found it interesting that this segment was so slanted toward men behaving this way; I think there are many women out there who would also be like Paul. After all, it does take two to have a relationship!

I work in a gynecologist's office and I wish this segment had put some emphasis on the health consequences of engaging in behavior like Paul's. And yes, there are consequences. If it's true that Paul has had sex with over 100 women, then any woman who is even thinking about having sex with him needs to have that guy tested for an STD and/or HIV from head to toe on a regular basis. I don't care how handsome he is. And this goes for any man or woman who engages in the same behavior. Our office sees way too many people being diagnosed with STDs and/or HIV every week. The sad part is so many people are shocked by their diagnosis because they've been living in denial. People also learn that condoms are not enough, as these diseases can also be transmitted orally. And yes, a lot of the carriers of these diseases are nice, good-looking people who appear perfectly healthy. Nobody is worth catching a disease and possibly dying over. People need to do a better job of protecting their health.

Paul, it appeared that Mereidth had some sort of hangup even before you came on. Perhaps she has had an experience with a Cassanova in the past.

Unfortunately, nothing new, Leykis 101 (Tom Leykis). However, your points were well said, and I appreciate you stepping up to the plate for us men in the dating world.

I completely agree with your story and one area in particular which states, women want to be wined and dined to satisfy their egos that a handsome man has spent his time and money on them. In most cases, money wasted and nothing comes of it.

I thought he was extremely good looking
very honest & upfront on his thoughts
I would date him in a minute and I know
there is a lady out there who will tame
his wild ways eventually, in the meantime
enjoy the adventure.

He really didn't answer Mereidth's question about if he says up front I just want sex and even when they showed him on the phone in the interview he said, "Hey baby I want to see you again give me a call." He didn't say "you were such a hot lover that I need to hump you again, no strings of course."  Had he said that at a Starbucks how popular do you think he would be. I am also curious if he is aware that condoms don't protect from...ohh I don't know: genital herpes. Just something to keep in mind. Otherwise: more power to him. Hope no one boils his bunny :)

I think you've really missed the point on this one. He's a good looking guy whose worst sin is self absorption. A cassanova would want to hurt women, a gigalo would be using deceit for some material gain in a relationship. a sex addict would not have been capable of hving long term monogamous relationships.   To bring on experts to analyze his "behavoirs" is really overkill. This would not be a fellow I would have wanted to date, but if he stopped me in a starbucks to tell me I was attractive would have made my week!

I just don't understand why this made it to the Today Show- a guy having sex- not a new concept- nothing was learned from this and the fact so much time was taken up on the show about it today/ this morning I think is ridiculous.

I found him silly. Mainly because he seems to think he has a special gift. I know a bunch of guys like this. They're not Harvard-educated. They're blue-collar guys who are very charming to women. Janka's not a guru or an expert. He simply is able to do something that a lot of other people can do and is getting more attention for it because he's a well-off Ivy-league graduate.

Truth of the matter is that sex is easily available for people who want to have it (even the not-so-attractive), and a lot of people don't want it on Janka's terms. Many of the people who lament their lack of a sex life are not having sex because they have certain expectations. While I'm sure Janka has standards for physical beauty and whatnot, he's not looking for compatibility or a relationship. He's looking for entertainment. To even discuss him in the context of "relationships" is ridiculous. This is nothing new; people (men and women) like him have been around for years.  

I think that Paul Janka is doing what a man with a high sex drive will do.  He might well be a sex addict, as the Dr. suggested.  Unfortunately for him as he calls it his "appetite", amounts to what I call stranger sex. It probably fullfills his physical needs, but rarely gets to the point of an emotional connection.  He does not appear happy.  Maybe he should have the third date policy, to weed out the objectional ones before jumping in the sack.  An experienced, creative woman with a high drive and like interests could probably land this guy in a heart beat.  

This guy is having sex with other men's future wives and  children's future moms.  He is the opposite of true masculinity.  He is not taking any responsibility for the emotional health of these women.  He is using them for his own satisfaction.  He has no back bone.  No courage.  

He is right in saying that a lot of people in America want novelty is sex.  But true satisfaction in sex does not come with novelty.  True satisfaction in sex comes from deep emotional intimacy.  Novelty in sex only feeds a desire that will never be satisfied.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.  Why is it a big issue when men carry themselves with an air of high value?  What is wrong with generating options and making women work for your affection?

Basically this guy has turned the tables and GOOD FOR HIM.  I can't tell you how many times I have dealt with mixed signals from women based on the fact that they don't want to sleep with me, but they enjoy the validation that I give them.  What do I get in the end, nothing or a bruised ego.

Women can't have it both ways...

The paradigm that women are naive, easily manipulated by men, is hog-wash.  Women manipulate men ALL THE time.  It happens at work, at home, at a bar, anywhere.

The typical thought that men who sleep with many women are predators is ridiculous.

What is more manipulative a man taking a girl out and paying for dinner with the hopes of "scoring" at the end of the night or a guy that is just trying to have fun and bring a lady friend along for the ride?

Finally a real candid conversation about today s dating world. I m 38, divorced ,good looking, confident, sucessful but not Donald Trump, boarderline arrogant. The key to this is honesty! You think a million beautiful woman out ther aren t Paul in a female version. My experience is woman are looking for the same as men. The key to meeting woman is confidence and what I call "cocky funny" this does not mean you cannot be a respectful nice guy. Paul is only giving woman what they want and as long as he s honest and doesn t intentionally mislead he s a class act. Bottomline woman want a MAN in every sense of the word. Thanks Paul for being candid, your brother T Casanova in Boston.

In my opinion, there are responsibilities that come along with human being interaction and relationships. Mr. Janka cannot absolve himself of those responsibilities as a member of the human race. Not all species operate in this manner. If you are an animal there are no such responsibilities with relationships. A thief is up front with his unsuspecting and vulnerable prey. He lets you know he is taking your valuables and leaving. But just because he is up front doesn't make it acceptable. Let us not forget Little Red Riding Hood. She was fooled by the wolf dressed in Grandma's clothes. But being dressed in Grandma's clothes did not make the wolf a human being. A wolf is a wolf is a wolf. And a wolf is not a human being. So, Mr. Janka, which will it be animal or human being?

OK, Paul may be a Harvard grad, but he obviously has deep-seeded insecurities with a huge emotional void.  It is obvious that in order for him to feel confident, he has to engage in sexual conquests.  If a woman thinks he will ever settle down will be in for a surprise, as he will no doubt have numerous affairs.  In a nutshell, if I saw Paul in a Starbucks, I would see through his facade and wouldn't give him the time of day!    

The women that have slept with him more than likely "wanted to sleep with him". He gave them the opportunity they obviously wanted. We are all human and can control our own behaviors. These women knew they didn't "have to" sleep with him, They chose to!!

Stay pimpin, Bro!!!

Mr. Casanova has extremely low self esteem and knows he can NOT satisfy a woman for more than a one time thing.  Satisfying a woman for more than one time takes way more than he has. Thank God he knows his shortcomings or probably knows he has more than he's willing to admit!  

Paul only somewhat realizes what he is doing.  It isn't that he is so seductive;  it is that he is able to weed out those women who don't want a casual relationship from the start.  He is certainly getting lots of tushie, but he may well be missing out meeting somevery interesting women who might well be the types of women with whom he might want to settle down.

I have to agree with one of the other posts.  The Today Show did miss the mark on the diagnoses of Paul.  It's not about being a Casanova or a Don Juan.  It's about  disorder called Narcissistic Personality disorder, which at its best a man is called a "player" or "ego-maniac", at it's worst..."Psychopath", "Ted Bundy", "Scott Peterson".  Men like this are objectify EVERYONE in their lives, therefore sex with women.  I do not believe that Paul is a display of the worst of this disorder, because he seems to be honest.  However their are very dangerous men and woman (more rare), who have a sub conscience vendetta to associate themselves and take what they can from other people.    Psychological, Sexual, and Physical Abuse all exist in these relationships.  Paul actually described a bit of the abuse in the male's need for variety.  This is part of what, in Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is called Devalue and Discard.  Yes, it can be devastating and psychological torture for a woman to love and adored one minute, or for years while going through these mini cycles of torture, to one day...being ignored, experiencing the silent treatment, financial debt, etc.  Paul and men like this at a more severe level, have to have a disconnection with human conscience.  The difference between these people with and "normal" people, is that they don't have a conscience and live emotionally isolated.  Their is a thrill of power and omnipotence that is experienced when they subject and are capable of causing pain to others.  It helps to feel that they are alive.  These victims are always, nurturing, giving, attractive, intelligent, and in some sort of vulnerable stage of existence, due to childhood trauma.  It is appalling that this disorder is not given more attention to and how it affects some women for a lifetime.  I'm talking suicide, psychological trauma, hospitalization.  I wish and extent to the "TODAY SHOW", to please do a special on Narcissistic Personality Disorder and it's victims.  It would shed so much light on those who suffer from this abuse.  Paul attest is only the scratching of the surface of a deeper emotional disorder that has ruined many lives of successful, beautiful, kind women, who have been swindled, psychologically abused, physically abused and working desperately to salvage the ruins that men   with a severe lean in this right to "manly indulgence", leave behind.  I have experienced and would not wish it on my worst enemy.  It is robbery of one's soul that is left, all for the sake of "self gratification".

HILARIOUS! I went to college with Paul.  While good looking, most of the intelligent women he hit on while in college thought he was ridiculous.  I can only imagine the types of women he is able to pick up. Paul is Paul, I can't imagine him out there to hurt people.  Women are not the victims, woman are smart, and don't have to fall for pickup lines from conceited men.    

Ewww.  That's all I can think of when I see the clip of his segment.  He's just revolting.  

I married a man like this and was thrilled that after all the women he dated I was "the one". Wish I could say happily ever after but sadly once we had children, he reverted to his old ways. After we divorced he told me that he wanted to "date me forever", but see other women as well....I don't think so! Can we say STD!( by the way,his photo is next to "Narcissitic Personality Disorder" in the DSM.)
Jamie, Boise Idaho

This man is so honest. If women paid more attention
to themselves and less attention to their pre-occupation to nest and find a man they would find relationships so much easier to handle.  It's not that serious. Enjoy the moment with a man. If you're
compatible the relationship will evolve and grow on its own, if not, you were two ships passing in the night and it was good while it lasted. Women take themselves and relationships too seriously. If it was meant to be it will be.

I am curious - if this man did not live in NYC - would his dating behavior be the same? It seemed to me that a lot of his "tenents" regarding his philosophy on dating women are based on living in an exciting, dynamic and highly populated city like Manhattan as opposed to a small, rural and less "hip" kinda town. Having said that - everyone has to be responsible for themselves with their feelings and behaviors. Yet - is every women he "dates" st that level. Ok, so he is being up-front -outa 100 hundred I wouldn't bet that he has never experienced the casual-dating-girl who thought she could change him. Ouch - I am sure that was uncomfortable.

Casanova or scoundrel...really doesn't matter, whether the general public agrees or disagrees, thats no excuse to badger a person the way Mr. Janka just was. I am more astonished & taken with how biased & ameteur that would be interview was.  Mr. Janka was well spoken, & collected, which more than the interviewers can say.  I got the distinct impression he was only asked on the show to be made an example of...which in my opinion is trashy.  Did the Today show just become the next Jerry Springer show?

Danny Stiller, I'd like to give you a cookie and a handshake.

I think it's incredibly ironic that we've got this huge feminist movement out there that's all about protecting women from predatory men, and ironically at the same time promotes women taking part in these kind of 'liberated' escapades. Sure women consent! What woman with low self esteem, who places her value and worth in what men think of her wouldn't react positively to an attactive, Ivy-league graduate complemnting her appearance? It doesn't matter how honest, how frank and how up front a man is about his narrow minded intentions, the fact of the matter is that women, no matter how hardened or active do NOT separate the emotional from the physical. What this man does is flat out predatory. Just because the wolf knocks nicely at your door and asks permission before he steals your sheep doesn't make it OK.

Oh Come on people- you know this is just plain WRONG. No man should ever treat women this way. Yes the ad agency's out there use sex to sell- but you don't have to buy it. It's a cop out to blame them, it's society's own fault for lowering their standards.
He should be ashamed of himself.

You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.'[b] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:27-28

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Why is Merideth so concerned about the feelings of the women he sleeps with? If a woman is willing to sleep with a man she hardly knows that is her choice isn't it? I would focus my character judgement on the women that go out with this guy rather than this guy. There are a million guys out there just like him, addicts or not, some are just better at what they do. He's really no different than the saleswoman at the beauty counter; She sells me a hundred dollar ounce of cream and I still have wrinkles. You learn that people don't live up to your expectations, so you adjust your expectations.

Unbelievable!  Are there no people out there who have morals and values anymore?  Judging from the responses on this blog, I think we are living in a very sad, self-centered place where commitment, interdependence, integrity and true, unselfish love are becoming a very rare thing, almost completely outmoded.  Personally I think anyone who hooks up with Paul deserves him.  I hope he never fathers children.....What a horrible example of manhood he is!

Hello, in regard to Paul & his methods. He is a handsome guy, who is like most men in general who play the field.
I hope he is practicing safe sex. Also what is with the short stubble? On his face,OK; but on his neck? I keep my own beard short, but do not have it look like Wolverine.
Larry Withowski

I think he is very honest and up front but I also think that human nature makes it very hard for most people to be able to "compartmentalize" as he says he is able to do.  Usually someone gets hurt and for him to completely disregard that is not good.  That is my one fault with his thinking. When a woman gets attention from an attractive and interesting man it is flattering and easy to believe that it will just be casual but when he is focused on you he may say "no strings" but if it "feels" different it is that "feeling" that misleads.  Of course the offending party can always say "I said no strings" but actions speak much louder than words and those are what mislead...whether it be a man or woman.

I feel that anyone who feels the need to discuss the number of women he has had is trying too hard and may have orintation issues.

Paul was refreshingly honest. If a man is upfront about his intentions, it is up to the woman to keep her emotions in check. If she cannot handle the kind of casual relationship he's looking for, she shouldn't go for it. A woman needs to be in control of her own emotions to protect herself from getting hurt.
Meredith and the Dr. seemed extremely judgmental during this interview.

Well, I am a 45 year old single woman who goes out on dates and would eventually like to find Mr. Right and settle down, and I wasn't offended by Paul. It's not like this guy is forcing women to go out with him and he wasn't forcing them to have sex either.  They are consenting adults and it's not his responsibility to determine if the women are mentally stable or not.  I thought Meredith was way too hard on him.  

I am a 58 year old woman and find that Paul is being very honest. He is not any different than the guys from my single years 30 years ago. He is just honest and I think there are alot of women out there just looking for a man with money and a husband.  Shame on Meredith for not being able to be a non judgemental journalist.

Being a single woman in NYC, I believe this man represents the plethora of playboys in the city, acting as if they are children in a candy store, with women being the candy.  Paul does not sound like he is being that straightforward with women, and I highly doubt many women know what they are getting into when dating him.  He seems just like all of the others, and needs to grow up.

The short interview with Paul did not address whether Paul would like to date women who are also constantly looking for variety.  Is this what he hopes to do for his whole life?  Women have variety open to them-day-in, day-out also. Yes, he is attractive, but so are thousands of other men. Many singles are stuck with STD's after living in this manner.  This aspect of the "constant change" lifestyle should not be ignored as it is very serious.  Lastly, I don't get a sense of happiness with Paul-what he gives to a relationship is what he will get.  

I think Paul has every right to be a player. It is up to the women he meets to decide if they want more. If he doen't lie to them about what he wants then no harm has occured. Women should be smarter about their choices. Most women are intelligent enough to know what he's doing. I have met plenty of women who do exactly what he does and as long as they don't mind then nobody should say anything.

Before I was married with children I could pick and choose men. I myself would not have dated him only because he would have fallen in love with me and I would have hurt his feelings. He is nice looking but we as women have to be smarter then average Joe. Sorry I didn't read all the drama above, just to blahhhh for me. Hopefully he uses condoms!!

So many comments on here discuss his good looks, when in reality there are plenty of good looking men who could not live his lifestyle even if they choose.  It his energy, personality, and outlook that are attractive to women.  Not his looks.  As a very physically unattractive man who lives a similar lifestyle, I can say this with no reservations.

Paul is overcharged and oversexed.  I would say that generally he IS taking advantage of women in a certain way.  Hopefully time will cure his ills.  In the meantime, however, he actually might want to seek counseling to better understand why he prowls for girls.  And, he IS a prowler; he is on the lookout, on the hunt.  Living this kind of lifestyle is base, and reaps of banality with no higher interests.  This guy is a Harvard grad.  He should be able to do better.  How can one respect a woman and how can she respect him, if this is all there is?  Unless he gets a dose of STDs or really gets "taken" and the tables turned by a lady and gets a dose of his own medicine, I don't see him changing until his hormones finally change.  Then, I think he will settle down and be a one-woman man.

I too feel sorry for Paul in his shallow existance, unable to give love and recieve love. Just having sex is not making love.  That's one of the big differences between us and animals-- relationship.
Something else that didn't come up in  the interview is how many different kinds of STD's does Paul have and shared with his partners.  Hollywood never wants to address STD's and pregnacy when they sell PG and PG_13 movies that advocate sex w/o consequences.
I love this quote by none other than Groucho Marx (from Breathing Together) "Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot"  I seems someone like Paul participates with the physical but misses the heart and soul.    how sad  

Message (please, no HTML tags. Web addresses will be hyperlinked):