I agree we are all responsible for our feelings and our actions. Since when do adult women need someone to "care for their feelings", as if they were children. Everyone I know has had a rough childhood.......so what??? We live in a culture which supports blaming others, being pissed off at men for acting like men.....and God forbid they should be honest about it!!! People need to HEAR what he is saying. He is honest, he is upfront, and although I do not necessarily want to sleep around myself, I totally agree every adult woman he sleeps with knows the score,even if they chose NOT to believe it, or come up with some fantasy in their head. Unless someone is mentally disabled, and I did not hear he slept with anyone who fit that description, all these women CHOSE of their own accord.It took me along time to accept total responsibility for my life choices. We all choose.................end of story!!
Susan

I think that Paul Janka represents almost all young single men, looking, not for a relationship, but exploring life with different types of women. As a married, 40-something female, I think he has every right to do this. As long as he's honest with these women and goes about the "date" with clear intentions. I believe this happens more often than not and people just don't want to admit it! Also, as long as there are no false pretenses and his "dates" are willing, and safely conduct themselves, who's business is it?

He's just a "boy toy!"

Finally it is such a relief for a man to be upfront and honest.....perhaps when the time is right, he will find the "right" woman for him. You cannot tell unless you go out. Why not let him enjoy his life as he sees fit? It does not make him a pervert. I hope that Paul does not take the doctors opinion to heart. However, seldom does a woman not go into dating or a so called "meeting" without the hopes of a commitment. If she gets her feelings hurt, then why would she not be seen as a woman trying to use sex to manipulate the situation in her favor?  

I read Janka's "dating themes" on the other page. Pathetic. If you truly want to read a book about seduction, check out The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Janka, have you ever seen the film, Alfie?

About Paul, "the Casanova" he seems like a normal guy to me.  Single, young, nice looking, and looking to meet people (women) and have fun.  I feel that a man can be straight with a woman, tell her he is just having fun and not wanting a serious relationship, but 9 out of 10 women will read betwen those lines and hear what they want to hear.  When the fun ends and they are left empty handed, with no ring or proposal, they feel "used" or "lied to".  Actually, they just didn't listen to what they were being told.  I agree men can be jerks when it comes to love and sex, but women - come on...you've got to listen and see what is going on around you and trust in yourself.  If your prince charming comes along, consider yourself lucky.  Otherwise, enjoy the ride and don't get so serious!  Paul...I don't see that you have done anything wrong.  

If Paul wasnt up fron with the women he is dating.,..how could he go on television about the way he dates? It would only lead him to having no dates ,..so he must be unpfront.

He doesn't seem that slick to me. He doesn't come off on the show as being able to sweep girls off their feet. Pretty awkward guy and no Cassannova.

I've watched the segment, twice and nothing therein indicated that Paul actually says to the ladies he entices, "hey, I think you're cute, wanna shag?".  That's actually speaking up that all you want is sex, nothing more.  This speaks all too loudly of the men who believe that if they buy you a drink or a meal, they have a right to get sex or kisses.  It is supposed to be the "understood" that if you buy me a drink, I should mentally plan on shagging, kissing or whatever and should feel guilty not giving in, because you bought me a meal.  It's fair to say 85% of the men I've gone out with had that attitude.  Some are "very sweet" until the end when you give them a "thank you I had a good time" kiss, which they usually try to extend and you decline.  Also, like the multitude who just want to stop over "to see you".  I'm not being funny, but in my culture, (non-Am), if someone is stopping over to see you it's for tea and conversation.  In this country it's a bootie call even if you lay it out there, that you're not up for sex, but would appreciate the company briefly---cause he'd like to see you and want some company, you know---they won't accept this "NO" when they come and they won't call again whether or not they get some. This Paul is representative of the "game" most men run and it further destroys women, from whence they came.  Some of the ladies he's met were looking for a husband, committed relationship etc and I don't believe he actually says, hey, this is a one-night stand or hey, I'm dating 99 others, or etc., before the act.  Personally, if all I want is sex, I'll say so upfront and I'll respectfully communicate the next day and reaffirm it was a one-shot deal, thanks....  Most men, including "players" are stunned and will keep in touch, if even to find out why I only wanted it once. "There's absolutely no reason why we're not f-ing" is a constant "note" in all these situations.  I'm 35, ready for my husband and family and I ask the questions upfront.  Ladies be empowered to ask upfront what their intentions are.  If you're up for what they're up for, great for both.  Do what you can to not be the one expecting the call or calling the next day...oh and be sure to ask the health questions.  70-90% have HSV and only 40% have outbreaks!  Condoms are not enough to protect from this.

Only 100??

I saw the segment and I used to feel the same way before I realized and accepted the fact that we will all have to answer to our Creator for our actions.  We are not created without purpose and to do whatever we feel is right in our hearts.  May Allah guide us all to do the deeds which are pleasing to him.  Peace.

Someone I know hooked up with Paul just last week. I can tell you that she does not feel at all betrayed or misled by him - he was up front about who he is and they had a great time. Not all women are looking for a husband - some of us just want to have fun and see what happens.

In a city like New York, where men are very rarely honest with women about their intentions or conquests, I think it's refreshing to see a guy who isn't playing that game.

It takes one to know one...Paul is a sex addict.  The doctor called him out!  He may not realize it now but eventually it the stuff will hit the fan.  Hopefully, he will acknowledge his problem and do something about it before he gets involved in a committed relationship, otherwise he will continually fail at true intimacy thus failing the relationship.
Paul should know that he is not alone.  Sex addiction is an epidemic that crosses social, financial, ethnic and gender boundries.  Paul makes a very good point about the fact that the world is being hyper-marketed with sexual images and instant gradification.  I can tell you from personal experience that the pain and emotional hurt that is a result of sex addiction is not sexy nor gradifying.
Real men do not behave like Paul.

Reading some of these comments reminds of the dark ages, but I loved a few comments, thank you Melly.

Who the heck cares really, he is being up front, or what does it really matter if there is some emotional issue, or trust issues, of if he gets more sex opportunities than some guys, it has nothing to do with my life experience, I got enough problems of my own making, and I think this article says more about the emotional and level of the interviewer than him.

I think Paul is onto something there, where if you want to really get to know a guy get the sex out of the way.  Maybe on the first date have the man over, get it out of the way for mechanical reasons, then the slate is clean, enjoy your movie of supper out afterwards.  Besides, anyone over 25 knows the sex is not always the best the first time.

Men are much smarter as Paul infers than women realize, and it is not the men like Paul women should be worried about, it is the ones who are smart enough to know they don't need to tell the truth, most guys knows what turns a woman's crank, women are not that complicated you know, bullshit has always baffled brains.

As a male I am tired of the status quo actually, single, don't date, maybe a little more crap than the next guy but overall I am a good guy, but in fact I wear a wedding ring to ensure that I do not feel the need to act like the carousing male when out socially, and the need to fulfill the expectations of the women in view.  And for me that is what it is all about, women just really have many expectations of guys in recent years, and get scared when a guy is not acting normally and ingratiating his own needs for hers

Guys like Paul, and myself, have started to say, look this is my life experience, if you want to have sex or spend time with me these are my terms, and I might be able to sneak your in somewhere, and you don't like those terms go find some other guy to date or have sex with.

Isn't that what women have been increasingly pushing for, honesty, mutual contract, respect?  And when women start getting that, they change your expectations again, of please give us guys a break will ya?  Maybe women need to have a meeting to get some sort of consensus on what they want, cause men are catching on fast what works for them, I would say men are in a way raising their emotional IQ.  Thank you womens movement for liberating the male of the species, would could not have done it without you.

TO ALL THOSE THAT THINK THAT HE IS A HONEST GUY!!!  
He is a predator and a liar ! Read this!


From Paul Janka's "Getting Laid in NYC: Technology for the Single Man"
http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/Paul%20Janka%20-%20Getting%20Laid%20in%20NYC.pdf

"Tell the bartender how it is - she works for you for the 2 hours or so you’ll be
there. I tell them I don’t drink but that I am meeting a lady, and that I don’t want her to
feel uncomfortable so could they please bring me seltzer waters, in a high-ball glass, with
a lime. And call it a Tom Collins. Or a Gin and Tonic if you prefer. Never leave your
drink, and don’t let the girl sip it – she will freak out, I guarantee you. If you go to the
bathroom, take it with you. When done, take both her glass and yours to the bar and give
them to the bartender. Also, I find that drinking 2 or 3 seltzers on top of the meal I ate an
hour before (solo or with a buddy) can be a challenge; I usually tell the bartender to make
mine almost entirely ice; hers, little ice and stiff."

What a .....  !!

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