How refreshing today's segment was! The Today show should do another follow up segment really examining this issue on a deeper level. I'm a firm believer that the majority of people who have children regret it, but would never admit it.  I believe almost all people have children because they feel "it's the thing to do" and some end up liking it and others don't.  

Having children is a choice and choosing not to needs more attention and positive accolades surrounding it.  Having children is not the most fulfilling aspect of life, so when will society stop pushing this fantasy?  

Again, the Today show should interview or do an entire week segment on childfree living by choice...it would be ground breaking and would get a lot of attention because there are a lot of loving responsible adults out there that love kids, but choose not to have that responsibility.  We're not evil people, but probably happier people and more fulfilled than those who have children!!! No parent would admit that though.

I am 34 years old, I have no children and I had my tubes tied almost 1 year ago.  I have never wanted children, and decided with my doctor, that a tubal ligation would be the best decision for me.  My doctor did not hassel me about it and did not ask me if I was sure.  I made my appointment more than a month out so it gave me plenty of time to think it over.  I did not change my mind.  I applaud Toby's decision by taking responsibility for his own decisions and not putting it on the woman.  I do not think it is selfish to not have children, in fact, I think it is selfish to have children when you really do not want to be a parent.  I made this decision because I enjoy my life the way it is and I don't want to change it.  I say that it is a personal decision and it is nobody else's business.

I'd just like to bring up one point, say he decided he was wrong and wanted children, why is it that having your own biological child is the only option; what happened to foster care or adoption?  Can you only be a loving parent if the child is physically yours?

It seems quite paradoxical to call people who make the conscious decision not to have children selfish but then ask how the person will cope in old age when there are no adult children to take care of them.

Having children is not the only way to make a contribution to the world or to leave a legacy. Plenty of childfree people have full lives and make tremendous contributions through their work, relationships with others, volunteerism, etc.

I also wonder why so many people seem worried that someone who has had a vasectomy (or tubal ligation) might change their minds later, yet we never seem to caution parents that they might well change their minds later--in fact, half of the pregnancies in the U.S. are unintended, so clearly many parents are not making the kind of conscious, deliberate, and thoughtful decisions that childfree adults do.

I'm glad that this selfish man will not be able to reproduce!  To shape a future based entirely around ones self is indicative of an ego-centric personality.  To think he can control even his own thoughts and wishes, let alone those of a future spouse, is short-sighted and naive.  He strikes me as a person who needs complete control of every aspect of his life.  Good luck with that!

I would like to know why a man can have this done but a woman needs to have a man's OK to have her tubes tied?!

When I was in the State of Oregon I wanted a hysterectomy so that I would not have another tubular pregnancy.  I was told that I could not do that it was against the law for a woman to have that done as I was still in child baring years and even though this was the 2nd child I had to have cut from me!!  I then asked that they cut and tie my tubes they still told me no but if my then husband said that I could have it then they would do it!!! He did not want this to happen till I told him that the next child I had would kill me as no one would know if I was pregnant ever again as I would never again get a child cut from me!!!   I was 38 years old BELIEVE ME THAT TOLD ME I HAVE NO RIGHTS OVER MY OWN BODY AND I RESENT ANY MAN BEING ABLE TO DO THIS WITHOUT BEING TOLD NO HE WAS STILL IN CHILD BARING YEARS!

Wow, some of these comments are so judgmental! J

If Toby changes his mind some day, he can experience all the joy of parenthood by adopting or as a step-parent. Just because he chooses not to have his own biological child, he can still decide to share his life with a child some day.

Any doctors here? Could you answer/clarify a question for me - isn't it possible that a man can reverse a vasectomy? I know someone who had two children and had a vasectomy in his mid 20's because he and his wife didn't want any more children. But after a few years he and his wife decided they wanted another child after all and he had his vasectomy reversed so they could have the child.

Good sorty.  Just a couple of things.  It is the dr's choice as far as doing the tubal ligation goes and what is required as far as children and age of the woman, etc. His business choices are his business choices.  There sure are a lot of comments here and I think that the selfish ones are those who condemn  and wonder who will care for im as he ages.  Karen,vasectomies are available at low cost through several programs.  You should contact your local Health Dept. Family Planning clinic. Vaectomies are avialable through health depts across the country.

I'm just wondering if the today show or any nbc show will look into the double standards. I'm 31 yrs old and doctors still refuse to tie my tubes because I have no children and I'm not involved in a "serious" relationship.I have known I don't want kids for a long time and I've had an abortion because birth control is not 100%.Last time I tried to get my tubes tied I was about to turn 30 and I was still told no.

I cannot have children and I have had female issues since I started puberty but my options are - well I have no options really.  I've been talking to doctors about a hysterectomy since I was in my mid to late 20's.  I'm 35 now and still have to suffer every month because the doctors don't want to do the surgery.  I've even had a uterin ablation which means I cannot have children (I already couldn't before this) and it didn't take.  Yet I find it hard to find a doctor who will give me a hysterectomy.  I want children, but I don't want to have children.  I plan on adopting when I'm 40.  But if I haven't been able to have the surgery I so desperately want, there's no way I'll bring a child into my home while I'm going through my female issues.  

I'm glad you had this topic on your show, but you really should do a follow up about how easy it is for men to decide to become sterile versus how hard it is for women to make the exact same choices.  I know hormones and such are involved with women and not with men and there are a lot of other factors, but honestly it shouldn't matter.  We as women should have the same choices if not more choices about our bodies than men do about theirs.

I think it is just fine for a man t have the right to choose, after all it is difficult to have that right once the women is pregnant.Afterall it is the mans body, call it selfish and whatever other ajectives you want to use, but afterall this is his life and and choice.
Any women that he dates, it should be known to them so they can choose to stay or leave him.
If a couple openly agree to the arrangement of his vasectemy than both of them know what they have, it is afterall about honesty.
I see a lot of parents that really should not have children that do anyway, also a man who knows he does not want them or feel it is in his life plan should be able to make this choice.
I support his decision to have the vasectemy, it is his choice, (his body, his choice)!!!

My then-36 year old husband had a vasectomy, with my complete blessing, about 6 months after our marriage.  I was 32 and had known my entire life that I never wanted kids.  We've been married almost 13 years and couldn't be happier.  Sorry to disappoint some of you, but there are large numbers of perfectly well-adjusted, healthy and happy adults out there who do NOT think kids are a blessing, a gift from God, or anything of the sort.  There is no guarantee that any child will "be there" for a parent in their old age, possibly the worst reason to consider having them in the first place.  Those who are experiencing regret over a permanent sterilization decision didn't think it through carefully enough, or did it for the wrong reasons (i.e., because their spouse wanted it and they didn't).  One thing I do know for sure is that many posters here are absolutely correct when they say that it's far easier for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to get a tubal ligation.  I inquired of five different doctors back in my mid-30s about tubal ligation and all refused to do it (this was in the 1990s, not the dark ages!).  My husband went to the doctor and had it done right in his office as an outpatient procedure that very day.  When he came home I asked if the doctor said anything about speaking with me to get my input, and he said no, not at all.  Unbelievably unenlightened and just plain WRONG that it should be any more difficult for a woman to exercise control over her own body.  But then again, the holier-than-thou right-to-lifers have been trying to do that forever, I suppose doctors think they can do it too.

I think its great for some women like myself because I am 26 years old and I don't want children. So if you know of any 26-33 year old men who have had that procedure hit me up at petersoncaren@yahoo.com.

Yay, Toby!!!  Where were you when I was younger? I am a woman who never wanted children.I was vigilant about using the pill. I was willing to have a tubal ligation but it would've been tricky due to my age and not having had any kids.
What i found was that men i cared about wanted children. i wouldn't change my position and never felt it was fair to marry a man who wanted a family. I would've been so thrilled to meet a man who had a definite opinion and desire to not procreate. I do applaud Toby and hope there are other men who can be so wise and practical. I also enjoy meeting women who have the same view.If people sincerely want children they should. it isn't for everyone and they should not bow to the pressure. Children deserve loving parents!

Good for him! We are rare, but there are a few of us who don't hear our biological clocks ticking (and wonder if we even have them) and would relish being able to have a relationship with a man who has taken care of the contraception issue permanently so we don't have to go through major surgery or take pills until menopause.  Had I met a man like Toby when I was in my early 30's, I would have relished the opportunity to form a relationship.

In the early 1970s my 32-year old sister died of breast cancer. Since she had taken birth control pills which were thought to have a connection with cancer and my husband and I, living on a sailboat, were quite certain we did not want to have children, we opted for a seventy-five dollar vascectomy (he was 28, I was 26). Eight years later we changed our minds because we believed we had knowledge worthy of passing along to future generations. I wrote to medical schools asking if they were performing vascectomy reversals and if so what were the success rates. The University of South Florida Medical School had the best results (85% success in reopening the tube, 50% of which produced enough sperm to impregnate). Fortunately, we were both from St. Petersburg so we had the three thousand dollar surgery at Tampa General Hospital in June 1980. In October 1981, a month before my 35th birthday our first son was born, a second was born in 1984 and our daughter was born in 1986 five months before I turned 40, easy pregnancies, easy births, perfect babies. To each his own and I respect Mr. Byrum a heck of a lot more than I respect those who conceive out of lust rather than love. I am presently caring for my 86-year old invalid mother and am extremely grateful that I, too, have a daughter to take care of her mother when she gets old and needs help (and yes, I do believe that it is the daughters who usually assume that role).

To AJ in St. Louis:

Not all men and women who choose a childless life even though all the reproductive organs work just fine are selfish.  I'm a woman who decided early on that I didn't want to be a parent.  Good thing too because it took me a very long time to work through significant emotional issues that a child would have ended up suffering through.  Not fair to do THAT to a kid.  At 41, I completed an M.Div degree and am a pastor.  I now have a smidge of understanding why the Catholic church asks celibacy from their priests, monks, and nuns.  Family and church tend to be institutions that can pull even the best people into shreds.  I've accepted my call to church and although I can be married as a Protestant pastor, it will be to a man who's children are grown and has had a vasectomy, or a man like Toby who decided to forego children and get one.  Given that the two of us would be heavily involved in the church in our own capacities, us having children would probably end up a stress filled mess.

As a 30 year old woman, I applaud Toby's decision.  If he decides for himself that he doesn't want children, then who are any of you to say that he is selfish.  I think it is selfish to have a child when you know you won't be able to provide them the best life possible.  Also, a vasectomy is reversible!!  My Aunt and Uncle had 3 children ages 17, 14, and 11.  My Aunt passed away from cancer and my Uncle later remarried a woman who didn't have children of her own. He was at 18 years after his vas and had it reversed and had a healthy baby girl.  It is definitely less permanent than a tubal which is probably why it is easier for a man to be sterilized.  Ladies, I know it's unfair but at least we have other options available to us (pill, shot, diaphram, female condom, ring, patch etc...). A man's only other option is a condom.

People keep suggesting that not wanting a child is a selfish choice. Isn't it just as selfish to say you want kids so you can have "someone to visit and take care of you when you are old"? YOU have kids so YOU will be taken care of? Come on people...think before you type! Those that choose to be childless aren't hurting anyone - so why all the ridicule?

My husband and I have made the decision not to have children.  It seems like the general consensus is that those who decide not to have children are selfish human beings. I used to want to have children and I'm not quite sure what changed my mind, but for years I have not wanted children.  I don't think that I would be the best parent I could be, and I don't want to force that onto an innocent child.  My husband would be a fantastic father, but he comes from an unbeliveable amount of health issues in his family, including alcoholism.  He doesn't want to pass on the genes from his family that could detrimentally affect a child.  I also can't imagine bringing a child up in the world that we live in.  I have niece's and a nephew, and I constantly worry for their safety. I wish people would open their eyes to the other factors in having children. Maybe those who make this choice have reasons that aren't purely selfish.

I don't have a problem with this mans decision, however if he were a woman wanting her tubes tied at this age, it would have NEVER happened. I am a 41 year old woman who has never wanted children and none of my doctors would have done this procedure for me. We still live in a country dominated by men and THEIR sexuality. They have their viagra and they sent on the supreme court and tell women what to do with their bodies every day. My insurance provider will cover viagra but not birth control. How stupid is this??? About as stupid as a four hour erection! Need I say more?

I had a vasectomy at age 23 before I was married.  I am now 54 and my wife and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary this year.  No regrets - it was the right decision for me.  The most difficult thing was finding a Dr. who would perform the operation on a 23 year old single man 30 years ago.

I really want more details from all of the people who say this man is "selfish". How? By wanting to make the best life for himself that he can? Where does it say that every person's responsibility is to breed? The human race would NEVER die out as a result of people choosing to not have children, so why do you care if someone you never even met does not want kids? And don't tell me that he's being selfish to his parents; it's not his responsibility to give them grandkids at the expense of what he feels is best for his life. If any of you out there had kids because you thought you "should", and/or to not be "selfish", then you really have my pity. Maybe one day you will wake up and realize you no longer want to be a door mat. Hopefully your kids will have the backbones you never developed.

I am a single female and I don't want children.  It's rare to find men who share my sentiment, so my question is...how I find these men?  

I keep seeing people refer to Mr. Byrum as selfish and asking about who will take care of him when he gets old.It sounds like he is, in a way, UNselfish. Having children so they can take care of you when you are old would be selfish. If people don't want children, it's best for everyone that they don't. Yes, it is a decision that he could regret later, but having a child and regretting it later would be much, much worse.

I am 35 and do not have any children; nor do I plan to.  The fact is, I do not want children of my own and do not have the patience to be around them for any longer than a few minutes at a time.  This procedure practically guarantees me I will not have to bring an unwanted baby into this world.  While I will not judge others for their decisions, my decisions are what is best for me.

Im pregnant with my first child due this spring. He/she was not planned, but was a welcome suprise for my partner and me. This is the path that we have chosen for us, and we are happy and excited about it.  For Toby, this is the path that he has chosen for himself, kudos to him. why bring  a  child into the world that is not wanted, when all kids want is to be loved, and cared for.if he chooses one day to father children, he can adopt or reverse the procedure and have his own with his partner. Until then why should a man be chastized for a personal decision.

I think he has NO clue of the possible joy and growth that he is missing out on!
To me, this makes as much sense as my 8-year old nephew saying, "I don't need any more school -- I already know everything!"  
Just one more narcisist to worry about himself and nobody else!  Congratulations, Toby!

I'm a 21 year old female... I never want kids. It's not that I don't like them, I just don't want to bear them. If I want to be a parent, I'll adopt- there's lots of kids out there who need homes.

I can go into the military, I can get married, I can have a kid and raise it, I can get an abortion, I can get tattoos (I have four not-small ones), but I can't get a tubal ligation?

Something about that seems wrong, to me.

What a moron.  Such a drastic decision when there are other alternatives available.  I don't ever want to become addicted to alcohol, but I'm not going to go blow up every brewery out there.  Dude, throw on a cover and have the self control to pull out.  Actually, based on his thinking, I'm glad he did what he did--natural selection.    

This story is just a representation of the egotistical,shelfish society we live in today. Sorry if the gift of a child would ruin your dinner plans or your favorite dress! There is more to life than your own shelfish wants and needs.

I applaued Mr Byrum for his decision. I too am a legacy. I am the last male of the family, if I don't have any children the name will end. I have 5 uncles that continued to pressure me to have children, (they have 7 daughters among them)I have absolutely no desire to have children. I have been in a relationship for 24 years, and neither of us has the desire. It works for us. I don't know where people get the notion that if you don't have 2.5 chidren you can't be happy. Our lives are full with family and community - and as childless couple we still can contribute to society.

Men may choose to undergo a vasectomy because they don’t want kids today, but as many have commented, there are often reasons that men may change their mind.  Thinking through the possibility that the man may change his mind, there is sperm freezing.  Sperm cryopreservation (freezing) may be done for several reasons: cancer patients preparing to undergo radiation or chemotherapy that potentially may destroy sperm production, patients who are electing to have a vasectomy but wish to have sperm stored, and patients who are unavailable and wish to store sperm for their partner’s use.  There are also procedures by which women can have their eggs frozen for similar reasons.  One such clinic I’m aware of is Pacific NW Fertility in Seattle.  

I am 25 years old, and will be getting a vasectomy as soon as I can afford one.  I do not really want kids myself.  I can see why people want kids, but I can't find any of the same reasons in myself.  

I will however store sperm away in case I want children later.  I guess it's really about me having the ultimate choice of when I'm going to have children, rather than having one by accident when I'm not ready.

I think Toby did a wonderful thing-thank goodness he is cutting off his genetic line.  Thank goodness he will not be passing on his selfishness on to another generation.  

I hope Toby is still enjoying his "choice" as he is sitting in his nursing home room watching his television alone.  You'll know that he is the geezer next door complaining that you and your family won't keep it down as you're entertaining Grandma and having a good time with one another.

At least we know his room will be paid for with the millions of dollars he will no doubt have in his account when he dies...  

I don't have a problem with this young man not wanting children, I just wonder if he made this decision at too young of an age.  I know that I don't think and feel the same way I did at 25 or 35 and I wonder if he will regret his decision, of course if he does, he can try to have the procedure reversed.  What does bother be is how he is being judged as selfish.  I am a 40 year old female with no children.  It wasn't necessarily my plan to have no children, it just happened that way and I know that right now I could still possibly have a child, I just don't spend a lot of time worrying about it.  If it happens great, if not, I am alright with that too.  I am tired of some people (mostly ones with children) telling me I should have a child because it's so fulfilling and they just didn't know what love was until they had a child.  Are they trying to convince me or themselves?  I guess what I am saying is that if he doesn't want children, what is the big deal?  At least he is being honest about it, to himself and to the people he dates.  

I applaud Toby for his decision, and thank the Today show for airing his story.  There are many people in this world that have chosen not to have children, and knew they did not want children at a very early age.  I am one of those people. I knew at the age of 18 (perhaps earlier) that I never wanted to give birth, and I stand by my decision at the age of 30 (and happily married). Unfortunately, society at large does not grasp this concept.  Yes, it is possible to live a meaningful life without procreating. Children do not equal meaning in life to all people (but I do acknowledge that children do bring meaning to the lives of SOME people). It is the people who have children who seem to have the loudest objection to someone CHOOSING to be child-free - perhaps you want the child-free people to be as miserable as you are?  I only wish the medical community would grant women the same reproductive rights as men.  After all, women are the ones that have to carry the burden for 9 months, and bear the ultimate responsibility of raising the child (yes, men do obviously have a role, but it is the woman that bears the ultimate responsibility and burden).  Just as it is a woman's choice to get an abortion, it should also be a woman's choice to opt for a tubal ligation - at ANY age, regardless of if she has ever given birth.  There are many people, like Toby, that know they do not want children - let us continue to live our wonderful child-free lives without the comments from the mommy and daddy brigades.  We get it, you have kids, and you are "fulfilled".  If you are so fulfilled, why does it bother you so much that we do not want children?  Thank you Toby for coming forward and telling your story - there are a lot of people out there that agree with you.

It's a shame to be criticise for being honest. What is wrong with making a choice of wanting or not wanting children. I think we need more Toby's and less unwanted children. Better than being a lousy parent.

I am a 27 year old woman who has known from childhood that I do not want to have children.  I am a bit appalled (though not totally surprised) at the number of people who described the Toby and other childfree as "selfish," "irresponsible," "lazy" or even "disgusting."  Raising children is not the only way to be productive and contribute to this world!  I am a medical student and I definitely couldn't get through school by being lazy or irresponsible.  I currently work in a research lab that studies cancer and want to make this area my career focus.  I don't think I can do both (have kids and an academic career) and keep my personal standards and sanity intact.  Maybe some women can, but I think the constant demands of small children would sap the energy right out of me.  What serves the world more--me working for 30+ years to better understand diseases and how to treat them or me popping out a couple of kids and maybe slowing down or giving up my research career?  Let me point out that I have scored in the top 1% on every standardized test I've ever taken.  My professors tell me I have a real talent for research.  What would the world lose if I squandered this talent by being a SAHM?  Life is not one-size-fits-all, and I've simply decided a different lifestyle is a better fit for me.  I have nothing against those that have children so long as they 1) don't denigrate my choice and 2) don't expect special treatment.  I have a full life with an exciting career, many friends, and time to devote to hobbies and exercising.  If I met the right man, I'd want to share my life with him, just not with children.  If a man wants children, he's NOT the right one for me.  

I'd also like to point out that many people, men and women, have health reasons for not wanting to have children.  I have several.  First, I have a metabolic condition that requires me to take daily medication, which would be extremely harmful to a developing fetus.  If I wanted to get pregnant, I'd have to stop the meds, and risk harm to myself.  I also had an accident several years ago that resulted in a fractured pelvis.  I still have periodic pain from it, which I'm told would intensify if I carried a child.  This is on top of the normal discomforts of pregnancy and labor.  I don't think that the pain and risk to my health would be worth it.  What is so hard to understand about this?

I think his decision is responsible as long as he continues to practice safe sex.

Way to go Toby! I applaud your decision.  
I'm 28, married, and never want children, as of yet no doctor will perfom a tubal ligation so my husband is getting the vasectomy.  Toby is not necissarily giving up future love with the woman of his dreams because this "woman" you all are assuming he will meet wants children.  maybe the love of his life will feel the same.
We all have different ideas of happiness, and it is not selfish to not want kids, especially if you know you are not cut out to be a parent.  Last i checked i decided how i got to live my life, which is the same for everyone else, we should not be criticized or called selfish and told we will lack meaningful relationships or a meaningful life for our lack of desire to reproduce.  For some of us it just isn't our cup of tea. It's better that we do not have children and neglect them or resent them.  I love my freedom and the ability to do what i want when i want.  I am not selfish, my goals and amibitions for my life are just different and not traditional, and luckily i found a wonderful person who has the same goals.   Many of us who do not want children have plenty of direction and are very responsible people, it's just not the same one some of you who want and have kids have, it doesn't make us wrong or you wrong, it just means we are different.
For those of you who ask what about when you get older, who will come visit you...there is NO guarantee that your children will visit you in old age...there are lots of nursing homes fill with elderly whose children don't visit them.  There is also no guarantee that you won't be caring for your children until you die of old age either.  That's a horrible reason and a selfish one to have children....someone to visit me in my old age...yeah great reason to reproduce.  I'll have plenty of fun hanging out with the rest of the "old ladies" where ever i end up should i ever make it that far.  
 

I am surprised this is a news story in any fashion.  As a single man at age 26, I had a vasectomy.  That was ten years ago, and while I was certain that I was in the minority, surely there were others doing the same.  The thing which did surprise me about the procedure is the lack of counseling.  I filled out forms at the hospital indicating that I was age 33, divorced, and had 3 children.  None of it true.  I paid cash instead of using my insurance benefits.  I only remember seeing the doctor once (for the procedure itself).  This is at a respected large Midwestern hospital.  For all they know, I could have been a very married man getting a vasectomy behind the back of my wife.  

Being the father of a "surprise" I applaud this young man's decision. He is taking control of his reproductive life and not leaving anything up to chance. How many men were surprised to hear "I'm pregnant, it's yours, I need child support."? I know of at least one, me, and I am sure I am not alone.

In the early 60's as a teenager I knew that I did not want children. At the age of 28 in 1975 I heard that planned parenthood had a title 20 program where a man could get a vasectomy and they would pay for it. It was a no brainer for me, right on. The urologist tried to convince me not to do it, I was adament about my decision. It was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I would encourage all men  to have one. My opinion about having children is this. Everone who wants to have children should be required to answer a very simple question. Why do you want to have children? How many people ask that question not very many! This society expects people to have them! There is a lot of pressure from parents, relatives, friends, society, also their own guilt and many other factors, that go into why people have children. Some people have had children because they think that other people will love them. Some people have had children so they will have someone to love them. Real love comes from inside oneself not from someone outside themselves. Look at the number of children in this society that live on the streets. Who are abused, killed, and run away from [their] parents and foster parents homes. That is not Love it is abuse and until we as a society are willing to look into our own thinking things won't change.

I am an only child, because of a chronic, but very manageable illness I've had since I was born.  I'm now 48, but when I was 18, I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss having my tubes tied.  The doctor was sick that day, so my appointment got cancelled and I never re-made the appointment.  I  never did have any kids and still don't really want any.  I've managed to "fill the time" that I would have spent raising children, with intellectual pursuits and really haven't missed having children.  In fact, I don't know where I would have found time in my life for kids.  

I found a doctor who would tie my tubes - "It's your body" at 29, and had the procedure performed for my 30th birthday.  This was in 1990, and on Nov. 12th, will be celebrating 17 years.  I used to celebrate every year, but the more I see of children misbehaving in public, I now celebrate the decision every waking moment.  Selfish???   Call me selfish, just don't call me Momma.  This was the BEST decision I ever made in my life. I met my husband 4 months after getting it done, and we've been married over 15 years.  We enjoy our freedom to go out, have nice, quiet vacations, and have the money to do so.  I haven't even worked for the last 7 years.

To the women out there looking for a doctor, I found one in the D.C. suburbs in Maryland -may be more liberal there.  I now live in Florida, and have met many women who have tried to get the procedure done, but were told the same things as mentioned above.  Being from the north, I was truly shocked at how backwards things are in the south.

I'm a urologist in Wisconsin who performs both vasectomy and reversal.  Reversal costs $6000 out of pocket and up front (minimum bottom line cost determined by my clinic administrators.  I was able to talk them down from $9500). In addition the 'take home baby' rate (not just the patency or pregnancy rate) is only about 65%.  The possibility of one day undergoing reversal ought never be considered by anyone having a vasectomy as it's just too out of reach for most.

I have a 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship.  My husband and I do not have children together and I prefer it this way.  I have reached a point in my life that having another child is not a priority. My husband & I have had discussions on the issue and have decided for many different reasons not to pursue having children.  My husband's family along with other people bug us from time to time about why we don't have kids together and I find it quite annoying.  It is a personal choice.  My daughter will be going off to college in a few years and I have no desire to start all over again.

At least you're being responsible and not going around getting all the women you sleep with pregnant. Good for you.

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