Rules about Touching an Orangutan? Who Knew?
Posted: Sunday, May 13, 2007 11:00 PM by Jaclyn Levin
Note: Last month, soundman Bob Lapp accompanied Ann Curry to Borneo and the Nyaru Menteng Rescue and Rehabilitation Center for orangutans. WATCH VIDEO
In our modern society, there are rules that govern every aspect of our lives. But rules about touching an orangutan? Who knew?
In preparation for our trip to Borneo, I received a plethora of information about our location and an exhaustive page on the “Do’s and Dont’s” of orangutans. One of the more disturbing “Do’s” was that I had to get checked for HIV, Hep-B and TB. Not for my protection, but for the apes. What? Are these not the critters that run around a swamp swinging naked from trees and pissing on anything that happens by? Tests that prove I am worthy to meet the apes? That’s a new twist. OK, OK, no problem. I’ll have the tests done. Hell, I need the work.
But wait, there was more. Check out these general guidelines for when meeting an orangutan:
1. Do not touch the orangutan
2. Do not engage the orangutan
3. Do not wear loud clothing (Well, there goes my Elton John outfit!)
4. Do not make fun of the orangutan
5. Do not take pictures of the orangutan that will offend them
Wait a minute, is this an ape shoot or a Paris Hilton interview? It also turns out we are quarantined from the apes for seven days in order to protect them, in case we have a cold or some sort of virus that can harm them. Oh, that actually does make sense. And one more thing. It turns out they don’t really like men. Only women. When they see men they aren’t familiar with, they are threatened by them and start shouting and making strange noises and will try to throw things and piss on them. Sounds a lot like my dating years in college.
When we get there we learn that at any given time, there are 600 orangutans at the Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation’s Nyaru Menteng Rehabilitation and Reintroduction Center. Four vs. 600. Nice odds. I am sure we will have no trouble staying away from 600 stick throwing orangutans for a week. You know that trip to Baghdad last month really wasn’t so bad after all. Also, they are very curious creatures. They want to grab your clothes, hats, glasses, hair and any equipment that you have. And they are very strong (adults are about four times as strong as a man). When they grab on to you, they don’t let go, and they bite. Not real hard, but just enough to get your attention.
Our first day at BOS was a little like that scene from “Shawshank Redemption” when all the new prisoners were getting off the bus and the old guys were checking out the fresh meat. Same thing here. Lone Droscher Nielsen, who runs the place, is walking us down a sidewalk past about 20 orangutans and I see them giving the signs to each other.
“Psst, hey Frank! Here’s the plan…you take the guy with the camera, Mondo gets the guy with the audio boom, the rest of you grab what you can!”
Lone was saying something about, if they come at you, just step back and shout “NO!” and they will leave you alone. She tells us that they are as afraid of us as we are of them. Well, I sure didn’t see any fear in them. I mean, by now they are bound to know about that seven four-to-one strength difference thing!
We lost some good stuff that first day. I made a note to myself: no more hats, glasses, or loose fitting shirts with pockets. That is pretty much how it went for the first six days of our shoot. Score - Ape 6, Man 0.
But then the seventh day arrived. We had finally cleared the quarantine and now we would get to use our hands to defend ourselves. It was payback time, baby! We were ready for a fight! Funny thing was, the orangutans didn’t care anymore. Word had gotten out that we were clean and they just ignored us. I think they were giving each other signs (a lot of belly scratching) to leave us alone. We were not daunted and decided to send in the women first to test the waters. Laura, our producer, sat down and acted, you know, like a chick. Son of a gun it worked. Not just one but two orangutans came up to her and climbed on her lap. So the cameraman Mike Simon and I decided to play along with their little game. We ignored them. Singles bar tactics, pretend you don’t even like them. Bingo! It worked! Score one for the superior intellects! A little one started biting my leg. So I grabbed her and pulled her up and she seemed to like that. So I went for the kill zone, her armpits, and started tickling, figuring it always seemed to work with my kids. I received a hearty grunt, which is orangutan for laughter. And so it went for the next 10 minutes. Bite, grab, tickle, grunt. It was a lot of fun. In the end that orangutan jumped up on my lap, wrapped her arms around me and stared sweetly into my eyes. I felt bad about all the things I had said earlier, I thought about how closely we are related to each other, that whole 96% shared DNA thing, and that we all need to take better care of these amazing guys. It was a real sweet moment. And then just like that it was over and she climbed down and wandered away to grab some duku fruit. And that is when I noticed the skidmark on my new pants. I got played.
