DEAR ADA
Posted: Monday, April 30, 2007 11:42 AM by Katherine Billman
Finding roadblocks when planning your wedding? Dear Ada has some advice:
Dear Ada,
My fiancé and I have been engaged for almost 7 months and we are pretty much at a stand still in the wedding plans. She's a full time student with a part-time job, and takes really good care of our house while I'm away. I'm always away because I'm in the Army. In the three and a half years we've been together I have been deployed 4 times, gone on Temporary duty about 6 times, and work 12 hour days. I think we have only been by each others side maybe a total of one year. With the current global situation, it looks like there is just no end in sight for Monica and I to spend any good quality time together, let alone plan a wedding. I am in the Army, my family is from Montana, and Monica's family is from Tennessee where I'm stationed. What is the best way to help her plan a wedding and fit it into our schedule?
Thanks,
Lost in the OPTEMPO.
Jayson, Clarksville, TN
Dear Jayson,
Planning a wedding is a major undertaking. Even with your additional challenges, you still have plenty of resources to help your wife plan your special day. I enlisted the help of Brides magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Millie Martini Bratten to give you some great tips and resources:
What works to your benefit is the fact that the Internet has become a vital wedding planning resource and you can both work on the wedding despite the distance between you. Think about what type of wedding will work best for the two of you and your situation.
Here are some shortcuts: find a full-service caterer who can provide everything from cocktail nibbles to wedding cake. The caterer may also be able to recommend a florist, photographer and musicians or DJ. Then, put together a guest list of those closest to you. As it may be challenging to call your guests while you are deployed you can use a tool like a Guest List Manager and begin emailing everyone with your plans. Or you can create your own Wedding Website and let your guests know they can check for updates on your plans on your personal wedding page.
Chances are, they are aware of your scheduling difficulties and will make every effort to attend if they can. Your fiancé can contact the nearest full-service bridal salon, explain your situation and see if there is a sample dress she can buy off-the-rack and have fitted to her. You may like to be married in uniform, which is perfectly appropriate. Most importantly, don't worry about creating an over-the-top wedding where every detail is just so; you may find that a small, intimate gathering with those who support and love you the most is simply perfect. And, if you or she has your heart set on something bigger or more detailed, have your wedding now, and plan a second party to celebrate your return. Best wishes to you both.
Millie Martini Bratten
Editor-in-Chief, BRIDES magazine
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