DEAR ADA
Posted: Friday, March 16, 2007 1:59 PM by Katharine Billman
You asked and Ada answered. Here are the latest responses from Ada:
Dear Ada,
My daughter is 11 years old and very smart. I have a teaching degree and find it extremely difficult to keep my nose out of her schoolwork, especially her big science project which is due for the Science Fair. How can I "let go" and let her make her own mistakes? I've read what she has so far and it's fantastic, but she refuses to type labels for her graphics, and that's mandatory!
Jean, McVeytown, PA
Dear Jean,
Well, I’m a Mom too and I know how difficult that can be! I asked Parenting Expert and Educational Psychologist, Michele Borba, for her advice. Read on…
AHHH!! How tough it is to step aside and watch our kids make those mistakes! But doing so is actually the best way to prepare your child for biggest game of all, L.I.F.E. If it would help you any, do know that study after study after study (and I'm sure you read some of those in your teacher courses) say kids who are always rescued do not do so well out there in the real world. The director of mental health at Harvard says he's never seen so many SMART kids entering as freshmen, but also he's never seen so many SAD kids who can't cope with their first B.
So Mom, here's the suggestion: Praise the well-deserved job your daughter has already done. Admire the quality of her work - the written part. Then ask what grade she is trying to earn or expects to earn. Listen. Bite your tongue. Her answer could be enlightening. If she wants the A (after doing all that work), casually ask, "What are the requirements for the A?" Say nothing further.
You want to do three things:
1. Let her know what you already pointed out - you are impressed with the quality of her thoughts and work.
2. Assess where she is coming from. How important is the grade to her?
3. Let her learn from the lesson. The science fair grade isn't going to make or break her life.
If you are at all shaky, then write a note to yourself with your solid reasons as to why you should let go. Then review your notes tomorrow (and give it to her for a graduation present from college). You're doing the right thing, Mom. I think you just need a little more convincing because deep down you already know you need to start letting go. It's hard, but in the end it's the best way to help your daughter THRIVE someday without you (Hint: that's the real barometer of good parenting anyway).
Michele Borba, Ed.D.
(Michele also has a website with great parenting advice…www.micheleborba.com)
Dear Ada,
I'm 16-year-old country kid from rural Wisconsin. For the last few years, I've pretty much been obsessed with TV news and broadcast journalism. I've realized that this is what I want to do with my life. I'm a straight-A student, I LOVE to write, I'm fascinated by people and current events, and I do well with public speaking. I've opened up a lot over the last few years, but I'm still a little on the quiet side. What kind of person does it take to be a journalist? Even though I'm a little shy, do you think I could still make it in the journalism world? Some people don't think I have what it takes, and I sometimes have my doubts too, but I'm willing to work hard for whatever I want in life. I'd really appreciate your advice! Thank you very much!
Nikki – Hillboro, WI
Dear Nikki,
You love to write, and you’re fascinated with people. Well, the love of writing is an important aspect of journalism, but just as important, is the ability to connect with people. I can see you already have both! Does your HS have a newspaper? Then I would encourage you to become involved, if you’re not already. Public speaking is a fantastic way to work on your shyness. Personally, I hated it when I was in HS! Once you go off to college, enroll in classes that will continue to strengthen your writing skills, and further your knowledge of history and politics. Check out internships (see the Today internship program). They’re a great way to get hands-on experience, and will expose you to the world of journalism. Most importantly, believe in yourself. You can accomplish anything you put your mind to!
Dear Viewers,
The questions keep coming in about Lenny – TODAY’s most loyal fan. Check out Elizabeth Neumann’s blog for the real scoop!
Where do Matt and Meredith disappear to at 9 a.m.? Why don’t we see them during the last hour of the show?
Many of you are curious as to the whereabouts of Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira in our last hour of the show. This mystery has a very simple answer: it is just the format of our show. Matt and Meredith co-anchor the first two hours of our broadcast and then Ann, Al, and Natalie are our regulars for the 9 o’clock hour. We are very lucky that we have the three hours to have all of our talented hosts share time with the viewers every morning.
Have a question? Need help or advice? Ask Ada!
